To keep DD at expensive private day nursery?

Whilst that’s definitely true, I think it is different at a nursery where you all drop off and pick up at different times and don’t really see the other parents and a preschool that has more of a school gate culture.

Good luck with finding a nursery, preschool or any kind of childcare provision, or a school which does not include any child with a 'difficult' parent.

You DH wants to go for the cheaper but more stressful and complicated option. And how much of the extra stress and complication is he proposing to deal with himself? Or will he magnanimously leave that to you?

A nursery that operates extended hours all year around is great. You'll need that flexibility. Drop off and pickup fir your older child in school will sometimes be complicated with extra time needed for additional activities or to talk with the teacher. The parents who only have a minute to dash in and grab their child abd dash to another site to pick up their other child miss out on a lot.

No i would keep her in the nursery.

I send my LO to an expensive one, I just worked extra hours to manage the budget. But she loves it there, it's a little different to the other nurseries in the area and she has some higher needs so the support and links with the services she is under is totally worth it. Sometimes struggling and rethinking other areas is easier then impacting your DC.

He'll never get any better without practice? On the days of the week he is back sooner why not tell him he is in charge of dinner as you are fed up of doing it every night. Even if he does jacket potatoes and bean with salad that gives you a break.

On the nursery Vs pre school is there a difference in what they do at each? Will one of them prepare her better for school? Phonics, counting etc.

Sorry if I’ve missed this but will your child go to the school that is attached to the preschool? I think that can be good socially. And lessen the transition up to primary but I’d worry less about that when there’s already an older sibling at the school.

You are entitled to spend your money on whatever you wish and high quality childcare and nutrition seems like one of the most reasonable to me (I say this with a kid who is thriving at a no frills attached preschool).

But don’t make your decision based on a difficult personality. They are everywhere in life and you really shouldn’t let them have that much power over you, your family and your decisions you just need to rise above it.

Agree with you re cooking. Hate the planning and executing and the pressure. Time for DH to take over?

If money and school holidays aren't an issue, go with whichever one you think offers a better variety and quality of play/learning opportunities and care.

@itstoocoldtoday how much cheaper is the nursery your son is at compared to where your daughter goes?? it makes pick up and drop off much easier if they are both at the same place/ how long has he got to go before he starts school and which is the closer of the two places?

My son is 13 and still refuses things in his packed lunches when he’s had them for a few weeks. So we regularly go from cucumber to tomatoes to carrot etc. this is common to lots of children and you might be dealing with it for a long time so I wouldn’t use this as a reason not to move your DD

I wouldn’t let a snotty attitude of another parent decide what nursery I sent my child too. It’s their problem not yours. Do what’s best for your family.

Me too! For many reasons:

You can drop DD before school - so instead of having to do the school run and then wait for preschool to open at 9, you can drop DD first and then do the school run. Then get on with your day (I’m home before 9).

You can leave DD at nursery for an hour or 2 after school pick up and have some nice 1:1 time with older child. Meanwhile DD is getting a nice hot meal at dinner. Older child can have hot school dinner, meaning just a cold/small dinner needed at home :)

Sending lunchbox to preschool always felt a bit bleak to me personally.

Less disruption to DD if she’s settled in private nursery.

Massive one - presumably preschool is term time only. Nice to have days just with older kid in the holidays, or only have to pay for one child to have to do a holiday club (as younger will be at nursery).

Another big one - avoiding annoying parent at the preschool. Definitely a factor for me 😄

Keep her where she is if she’s happy and you can afford the bills. If you move her and it’s more hassle, and she’s less happy, and becomes unsettled you’ll kick yourself. Better the devil you know sometimes.

It's very normal IME. Nursery menus are great, very varied and pretty much everything cooked from scratch. They know there's no other options and all the other DC are eating the food and so they just... Eat it.

At home they're much more willing to refuse! Ours only eat very bland food at home but everything at childcare, especially at preschool age. They would always have extra on curry day so we even got the recipe from the cook but they wouldn't even touch it at home, and other parents say the same. It's a very common thing.

Choose whichever option seems best if you can afford it. If you are dealing with the pickups and lunches DH doesn't really get to decide

Also what about school holidays? The fact that private Nursery goes on over holidays is a big reason for sticking with it for us, holiday clubs tend to be from school age only

You want to keep her at the expense option because you can't be bothered to feed her?

She just eats a better variety of foods at nursery than home
Why?

If DS goes there now, presumably you are managing to feed him - so couldn't you just keep doing whatever you are doing now?

Also, if you are moving to working part time (which is what I think you meant, rather than compressed hours), remember this will give you more time in the evening. So you can just cook a healthy meal for the whole family (assuming you're not doing this now or food wouldn't be a dilemma).

Otherwise, if both are of equal quality, I'd favour the one that it was easiest to travel between so logistics easier.

If DH is suggesting you use the preschool is he willing and able to do drop offs and pick ups.

What about school holiday cover? If the pre-school doesn’t do wrap around care, I’m guessing it is term time only and no holiday club either. How are you going to cover school holidays for your DS and would that setting also take your DD if she’s at the pre-school?

Yeah I hate making childcare decisions based on money, I think it's something worth spending on for a difference in quality. We're wrestling with that one ourselves ATM, but for primary school wraparound.