My partners cousin is obsessed with my baby

Cut contact with all of his family, Change the date and location of the Christening and do not invite any of them.

Omg. Major alarm bells ringing. Stop contact right now. She is unhinged. Stop leaving your daughter with her. You are the mother not her. Reign it in now.

OP, it sounds like your OH is also concerned about cousin’s obsessive behaviour with DC, so clearly he is on your side. What the family think of you is irrelevant, what is concerning is the cousin. Honestly, you both need to make it crystal clear that cousin will not be having any further contact with DC. I would be very worried indeed given her comments, there’s clearly something mentally wrong with her and I wouldn’t let her anywhere near DC.
Your priority is your baby, and how cousin reacts to the ‘no contact decision’ is irrelevant.
You are the mother, the protector, YOU make the rules!!! For goodness sake ban cousin from any further contact.

PS - not related but what does she do for work, I just saw you said she works full time?

PPS - I also think the family is encouraging this because they want her out of their hair - she sounds like a needy, unhinged nightmare.

I think your partner needs to step up here and shoot that all down. Tell them that no she will not be god mother, that the babysitting won't be all her as that's just selfishness and you want the others in the family to be able to spend time with the baby too. Then limit when she's with your baby, if you have to go low contact do it because her behaviour isn't normal. What's to say that when she demands to be god mother that she doesn't try to get custody of your baby. She needs to get her mental health checked and until she does she's not getting any more time with the baby alone. Definitely you and your partner need to be on the same team. Let the others put up with her but you don't have to. It's your child and she needs her head checked.

So don't comment, just do it. Explain that you're lo is so fantastic thats it's only fair that other people get a share of her,

She’s 19 and should be out working, studying, with her friends and maybe a boyfriend. What the hell is she doing looking after your baby this much?
I don’t know what relationship your OH has with his cousin, she’s not even his sister. The family “bond” should not be this level of rocking the cradle crazy.

as expected no reply from her but the whole family know about it already and had a few texts from other members of the family asking why I have changed my working schedule and that said cousin will loose money that she puts away to save to buy a house.

Ask them why they aren't finding work they can pay her to do, if they're that bothered. And surely they can find some friends she can babysit for?

Practise saying kindly "With every respect, where my baby is is my business, you don't need to know" followed by ending the call.

The cousin sounds mentally disturbed and potentially a danger to you and/or your baby. Cut contact now. Nothing bad might happen but how would you feel if she went off the rails and you or your little girl were damaged?

She's acting offkey. Her comments about you as well concerning death is weird. She's obsessed with your child and I would probably reign it in and reduce the contact gradually. If you make this woman godmother, she will be worse!

She's 19.

How old is she ? Is this a teenager or young adult or a full grown woman ?
Personally this would make me uncomfortable too , I would start distancing myself from her and avoid leaving the baby with her at all .

I would be very unhappy, and a definite no to this person being a godparent.
Definitely no to letting her look after your daughter overnight, You should challenge her when she makes comments- clearly her family don't for a quiet life.
The sense of entitlement this woman has where your daughter is concerned is completely unjustified, and frankly strikes me as unbalanced. I would reduce her time with your daughter wherever possible.
The" when you die she will be my baby comment" needs- " actually wishing someone dead for whatever reason is unbalanced, and makes me question ever letting you spend time with my daughter again".
See what she says, and if you are not happy with the response don't let her see your daughter again- better safe than sorry.

@Mummyme12345 Well done you for setting boundaries with her. You're a very strong woman to go back to work 4 months pp, run a business and look after your child. How dare anyone minimise your feelings and opinions as 'hormones' and being paranoid when in reality you're a super mum who should be applauded.

Please don't let this spoilt, silly teenage girl spend time alone with your daughter. Her influence is dangerous because she's using your child for validation and not treating her as an individual - the sort of mum who will enmesh entirely with her children when she has them and suffocate them. Stand firm and ignore the messages from all of them, they're not paying your bills or feeding you to have this control of your life. They can't force you to give your LO to her and they should be scared of driving you away because you're more than capable of raising her on your own without any of them, including your OH. Trust your instinct, anyone who keeps you up at night is not a good person to care for your child.

You are the mother. You have a beautiful baby. You need to say ‘no’ to this 19 year old relative. You do not need to explain why. These are boundaries you need to set in place. No explanation required this is what you need and want. A straight forward ‘NO.’
Put your needs and those of your immediate family first. Once you set these boundaries, that person will not be keeping you up at night and causing you stress.

Yikes, this is really weird, I wouldn’t want to leave my D with her for a minute. Get D enrolled in a nursery or with a child minder.

OP you can quote me directly! Her comments make her sound like the villain from a trashy physiological thriller book! If you die? Is she having a laugh? That is NOT normal! That is NOT ok! In anyone’s book anywhere that is unhinged. There is no question about it. No one who is in the same room as their own sanity would say something like that! Ever.

I don't understand why a cousin has so much access to your family

You’ve absolutely made the right decision, @Mummyme12345

This is SO weird and totally unacceptable. It’s awful that the wider family are enabling awful comments. How is that doing her any favours? Please stay strong and ignore all the flying monkeys that want to comment on the change.

Op this might sound crazy and I haven’t read all replies but can you encourage her to get a dog? Might take her attention elsewhere…

What's wrong with your husbands family, why is it your issue if she can't save? Tell them to tell her to get a second job then but you can do what you want in regards to your life your work and your child. They're all mental

Move house - much further away!!’

This. Confusing post - first it’s her cousins partner , then it’s the cousin , now it appears to be the partners cousin. Whatever / whoever make alternative childcare arrangements especially if it’s in the evening surely the partner could look after their own child. It’s just too much