Please Don’t Pray For Me

Because having chatted to my non religious friends/family it's come up in conversation. I don't all every time more of a "so would you mind if I remembered you in my prayers?"
When our family suffered a tragedy my dad said "I suppose you'll pray about it and say its God's will? Don't ever say that openly to X" I said I would only pray about it for myself, unless others wanted me to and that I wasn't stupid enough to say it was God's will (something I struggle with, years later). X actually said to me herself that she didn't believe in God, but at that moment she wanted all the hope/ help possible so could I pray for her.

I'm not in the habit of asking random people if I can pray for them.

Other than that, I don't really know why I ask. I think I was told once that you should. Although if I prayed and didn't tell them they wouldn't really know.

Same here, mine is sen and this past week, she's been up all night! Shes been jumping up and down and while ive tried to keep the noise low i am also running on zero sleep

How stressful to be dealing with that, and then be worried about your neighbour reporting you to social services

There's something amiss here and I suspect you've royally upset your neighbour over the years and made her life harder, so she's come out with a patronising retort (Edit to add ) in response to you asking her not to use certain rooms during the day!

There was a study some years back about praying for people in hospital as against not praying for them, and the ones who knew they were being prayed for recovered faster. But as this thread shows, it probably depends on what you believe or find comforting.
I'm a Christian but it winds me up when people say they'll pray for me. I can do it myself, thanks. Although if I were at death's door I'd probably appreciate it.
We have free will, but prayer can give your guardian angel permission to intervene. Which is why I always say a little prayer when I get behind the wheel!

It bounces off me. Most of the time it is very well intentioned and expresses concern and care. I have no faith but see it as harmless and no mal intent.
In your case, it sounds like a clear FU!

When my very religious parents said this to me it was very much done in a pass-agg spirit.

I don't necessarily take umbrage if a random stranger says it, but I won't think twice about responding breezily "oh, I don't believe in that". They should be aware that what they're saying might cause offence, so I assume they're big enough to hear what I have to say on the matter.

My ds died recently and I specifically told people I didn't want religious platitudes, flying high with angels bollocks or praying. Whether they did privately I don't know. But I didn't want their beliefs in my face.

It's context isn't it.

Someone kindly saying they will pray for you even if you aren't religious, fine. Someone saying they will pray for you in a passive aggressive way, not fine but easy to ignore.

Did you offer to help in anyway with the child, offer to give the neighbour a break ? Other than nebulous reports to social services, how did you help?

Neighbour is probably immune to the noise at this stage and her patience and empathy may be drained. I would be resentful of someone reporting me to SS without firm justification.

How about ear muffs? Or how about calling in, explaining your illness and asking if there is anything that can be done.

You reported her to ss and wonder why she refused to help you?

What sort of age was this kid?

I'm of the same opinion.
I also think it's not your right to tell people what room to use at a certain time. That's very controlling and you don't pay the mortgage on someone else's house.
Honestly speaking....does the child cry for hours daily? Or are you a little sensitive of noise and what is the childs age you don't specify?
My child is SEN and is loud sometimes but I try to calm it down in the evening to respect the neighbours to some extent because its a terraced house with paper thin walls!....I cant wait to move.

I once had a preacher say this to me at my place of work. He had clocked that I was not married and he told me something along that that he would pray that his god would give me a husband. He added "my child" at the end, which pissed me off even more.

I found it really insulting and condescending. First off, my personal life is none of his business; secondly, this is my place of work, at the very least he could treat me with a basic level of respect of another adult; finally, I am not his child and I found his language, attitude and even the topic of conversation overly familiar and I was thoroughly creeped out.

When my son was very ill in critical care, the nurse who had been with him all day said he would pray for him i found it very comforting that he cared enough about my son to do this ,I'm a very lapsed Catholic and would describe myself aa agnostic but it meant a lot at a very difficult time.

You don’t need to tell people you are praying for them but that’s beside the point. She’s being an arse over the noise. Would noice cancelling headphones help as people like her are usually incapable of changing their ways.

I really doubt that the Neighbour would have said 'I'm not going to do anything about this. Praying for you though.'

Keeping Someone in their prayers, is the equivalent of saying I'm keeping everything crossed for you. Whether you're religious or not, it's just something that people say when they want to wish you well.

I am struggling to imagine the exchange where you complained about the noise and she replied that she would pray for you, unless she meant it in a nasty way.

I’ve had people say this (in more normal contexts) and it doesn’t bother me at all- I just take it as their equivalent of “I’ll be thinking of you” or “I wish you well” which are also of no practical use but just express good wishes.

This isn't about whether the prayer is actually useful. It is about the neighbour using the sentence "I'll pray for you" to mean "fuck off".

I hate the “I’ll pray for you” people. It doesn’t mean anything.

My DS has a chronic condition and we’ve had really bad spells of illness and hospital stays. Some family members (I was raised Catholic but rescinded my religion as soon as I left home but have a somewhat religious family) in tough times have said this. I just wanted to say “Well actually it would help if you could pick my eldest up from school or maybe bring some food over rather than praying”

What help did you offer her when she told you she’d gone to the gp about her child as their behaviour made her suspect ND?

it sounds like she is struggling with really tricky behaviour which she has informed her GP about, and all you did was report her to social services and passive aggressive ask for her ‘help’ managing YOUR medical condition by getting her child to be quiet.

can you really not see this from her perspective?

I wouldn’t be taking it so seriously, just move on.

We live next door to the local vicar and his wife. We had 7 years of their building work and , 4 years in , their son got a working breed dog that herded everything by constantly barking at it. We spoke to them repeatedly about the noise. They both do that patronising 'head on the side sing-song vicar voice' thing when you speak to them. Told us repeatedly that they would pray for guidance with the dog. In the end my husband lost his temper, told them to just shut the fuck up or we'd contact the council and raise an environmental nuisance issue. God seems to have told them to do this as we haven't seen the dog since and it's all silent. Cannot be bothered with the praying nonsense.

There's more to this story, I think

It's a kind of groady title really. I'm sure you believe it makes no odds to you if she does or not. Is she from somewhere else at all? It could be cultural. It sounds like she's hugely struggling It must be exhausting for you both but you could try ear plugs perhaps

It doesn’t bother me at all. It’s the same thing as saying “thoughts and prayers” . People just say these things without really meaning anything at all. And even if someone did pray for me what’s the harm ?
I know what you mean though, would be nicer if she offered to sort out the noise.