Long story short, my best friend lost a parent in a very shocking, tragic and unexpected way a few years ago. My group of friends rallied round her on that day, and have all really prioritized getting her through the first few years - birthdays, anniversaries, Christmas etc.
I'm so proud of her and how far she's come, and i know this kind of grief is for life, and never really goes away. But I'm now starting to notice that she's acting .... I can't even describe it really, but I guess like she's the 'main character'.
Other friends are having big life events and changes happen to them as time goes on, and she's happy for them. However, she also complains that she feels abandoned/sidelined when new children/partners/husbands/jobs/other big adventures are being prioritized, and checkins etc become less frequent. I do have sympathy that her grief must feel very lonely, and it makes happy things bitter sweet, but I think it's unfair of her to take it as a personal slight that she isn't the top priority any more, now a few years have passed. We all have our own lives we are getting on with too!
I have told her to give people grace, and to just reach out herself if she's wanting to chat. She's guilty of ignoring us herself sometimes when she's busy, and i definitely don't take it personally! However when I try to challenge her (if shes complaining about another friend) she always brings it back to her grief and us needing to support her. I'm trying to be understanding, but AIBU to feel like it's getting a bit much now?