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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To deliberately inconvenience my colleagues?

164 replies

MistletoeMoments · 16/01/2025 20:13

I spent a big chunk of last year covering a colleagues sick leave. I was going to be the least inconvenienced by it, so agreed to do it. It was supposed to only be for a couple of weeks, but he ended up being off for 7 months!

I was exhausted by the end of it, as I was juggling my own work, and it also involved a change in hours (earlier start).

Anyway, he came back and things went back to normal.

He's now scheduled to be off for a long weekend tomorrow, and I'm 99% certain nobody has arranged cover for it. I suspect it's just assumed I'll be doing it.

WIBU to just go in at my normal time tomorrow ready for my working day? It means my nightshift colleague will need to stay behind for 1hr until I come in. He'll get paid for it, but I feel a bit bad because I used to work nights too and I know how tired he will be!

OP posts:
Shefliesonherownwings · 16/01/2025 21:02

None of this is your responsibility nor should there be any come back on you. Either it’s managements responsibility to ensure there’s cover or it’s your colleagues.

You’ve been told that’s it’s not down to you to provide cover so i’d do your normal hours and not think twice. It’s not your fault other colleagues are affected, they need to take that up with management.

pizzaHeart · 16/01/2025 21:01

MistletoeMoments · 16/01/2025 20:47

It's more a moral dilemma. I'm 99% sure there's no cover in place so my colleagues are going to be inconvenienced by having to stay late.

Not my responsibility, but there's nothing really stopping me from coming in early just in case.

Not really, but it absolutely sends the wrong message that you want to cover your colleague.
It might be even a bit annoying for your manager because she/he can’t claim that an extra person is needed as you are voluntarily covering all the times. The need doesn’t exist so the solution is not found.

GravyBoatWars · 16/01/2025 21:01

Gently OP, you're making this about you and it isn't. Stop trying to insert yourself into this story in a pivotal role.

There is no moral dilemna here - your involvement in this situation exists only in your head. You've been told by multiple people above you that covering for this person is not your responsibility and no one has asked you to come in early this week. Just show up for your shift and do your job.

WhiteRosesAndCandles · 16/01/2025 21:00

I understand where you are coming from. You are worried about inconveniencing your colleague on night shift.

Also the business should have arranged extra cover for their staff member in sick leave. No doubt they have a tonne of annual leave to use now. Your leadership is rubbish at managing minimum staffing requirements.

If you don't stick to your normal hours, what will change. Are you all responsible for arranging cover when you are on annual leave?

MissMoneyFairy · 16/01/2025 20:59

For some reason you sound determined to go in so only you can decide, no one has asked you to go in, maybe the night worker is happy to stay an extra hour, maybe it's been covered, ring the night worker and ask if you're really that bothered.

olympicsrock · 16/01/2025 20:58

You are not deliberately inconveniencing your colleagues. You are doing the job you are paid to do.
Your managers are inconveniencing your colleagues IF they have not organised cover

MistletoeMoments · 16/01/2025 20:58

Shortpoet · 16/01/2025 20:54

If you go in early anyway, the problem won’t get addressed in future. If you go in normal time and other colleagues had to stay an hour late, they can discuss it with the manager / person on leave and put a process in place (or reminder about processes) to stop it happening again.
uouve already done 7 months cover. They can cover 1 hour if needed.

Thank you. This is exactly what I needed to hear Smile

OP posts:
PullTheBricksDown · 16/01/2025 20:56

MistletoeMoments · 16/01/2025 20:47

It's more a moral dilemma. I'm 99% sure there's no cover in place so my colleagues are going to be inconvenienced by having to stay late.

Not my responsibility, but there's nothing really stopping me from coming in early just in case.

This is not a healthy relationship with your job OP. You're actively looking for excuses to take on extra hours on the basis that you'll be saving your useless colleagues in doing so. Don't.

MistletoeMoments · 16/01/2025 20:56

Catza · 16/01/2025 20:52

In case of what??! You've been told by multiple management that it is not your responsibility to provide cover. You still keep sticking your nose in. This is quite an extraordinary level of insubordination. You basically are calling your department useless on here and acting as though you are the only person who keeps the organisation together. It's not about doing what is morally right. You are that employee who worked for organisation 30+ years and thinks they know best despite having a relatively low grade positions, aren't you?

That's quite the leap Grin I know what the department is like because I used to work there. I've since climbed the ladder and it's my colleague who has worked there 30+ years, not me.

I'm not claiming the place will fall apart without me. I'm questioning if I should be more empathetic towards my nightshift colleagues who will doubtless be very tired.

OP posts:
SporadicMincePieMuncher · 16/01/2025 20:56

MistletoeMoments · 16/01/2025 20:47

It's more a moral dilemma. I'm 99% sure there's no cover in place so my colleagues are going to be inconvenienced by having to stay late.

Not my responsibility, but there's nothing really stopping me from coming in early just in case.

The colleagues who are going to be inconvenienced aren't being inconvenienced because of you though.

It sounds like you need to come in on time and when the boss or your colleague complains about it, you do this:💅

Management won't step up if you catch them before they fall.

Hodge00079 · 16/01/2025 20:55

MistletoeMoments · 16/01/2025 20:45

I maybe am overthinking. I've worked there a long time though, and I know how lazy/complacent that department is Grin

I see where you are coming from but nothing will change. They will keep assuming you/others will step up.

You might be surprised and find they have actually got something in place.

Shortpoet · 16/01/2025 20:54

If you go in early anyway, the problem won’t get addressed in future. If you go in normal time and other colleagues had to stay an hour late, they can discuss it with the manager / person on leave and put a process in place (or reminder about processes) to stop it happening again.
uouve already done 7 months cover. They can cover 1 hour if needed.

morbideveningthoughts · 16/01/2025 20:54

MistletoeMoments · 16/01/2025 20:47

It's more a moral dilemma. I'm 99% sure there's no cover in place so my colleagues are going to be inconvenienced by having to stay late.

Not my responsibility, but there's nothing really stopping me from coming in early just in case.

You do not have a moral duty to inconvenience yourself, so as to prevent inconvenience to others. There is being helpful as a one-off… and then there is being a doormat.

This attitude of feeling consistently obliged to make others’ lives easier at your own expense is how you have landed in a situation where it is taken for granted that you will just do the cover. You are allowing yourself to be taken for granted. Time to stop! You must respect yourself and your time, or nobody else will.

3luckystars · 16/01/2025 20:53

Is your manager able to do the job, are they coming in early?

MissDeborah · 16/01/2025 20:52

MistletoeMoments · 16/01/2025 20:47

It's more a moral dilemma. I'm 99% sure there's no cover in place so my colleagues are going to be inconvenienced by having to stay late.

Not my responsibility, but there's nothing really stopping me from coming in early just in case.

This is how you end up exhausted Op
It's not your responsibility

It's the managers responsibility to arrange this
Stepping up all the time means you are undermining their authority.
You have said you have spoken up, they told you it's not your responsibility so listen and go in at your usual time
I'm going to say it -people who do this step up , then moan about it are really annoying !

Catza · 16/01/2025 20:52

MistletoeMoments · 16/01/2025 20:47

It's more a moral dilemma. I'm 99% sure there's no cover in place so my colleagues are going to be inconvenienced by having to stay late.

Not my responsibility, but there's nothing really stopping me from coming in early just in case.

In case of what??! You've been told by multiple management that it is not your responsibility to provide cover. You still keep sticking your nose in. This is quite an extraordinary level of insubordination. You basically are calling your department useless on here and acting as though you are the only person who keeps the organisation together. It's not about doing what is morally right. You are that employee who worked for organisation 30+ years and thinks they know best despite having a relatively low grade positions, aren't you?

Brefugee · 16/01/2025 20:50

NC10125 · 16/01/2025 20:46

Not only would I not go in early, I would also make sure that I had a convenient reason why I wasn't free for that extra hour if someone asks for Monday.

Sorry, I can't, I walk my neighbors dog in the mornings now. Sorry, I can't, I've started doing pilates and I just can't make that time etc.

nope. People need to learn to say "no" like an adult and not invent silly excuses/reasons.

"can you come in early?"
"no"

That is it.

Brefugee · 16/01/2025 20:49

MistletoeMoments · 16/01/2025 20:24

I spoke to my boss, my boss's boss, and my HR Manager towards the end of my colleagues sick leave, and told them how exhausted I was. They all said it's not my responsibility to cover my colleague.

It's more a moral dilemma than a work dilemma.

not a moral dilemma.
Where i work, and where i have worked in the past, you don't get a day off unless your cover is arranged by you. As in: you apply for a day off in the system, the cover agrees, then the manager approves. No cover, no manager approval.

As long as he hasn't approached you, and as long as you haven't pre-agreed to be his cover, his absence is nothing to do with you.

MistletoeMoments · 16/01/2025 20:47

pizzaHeart · 16/01/2025 20:45

I don’t understand why shouldn’t you stick to your normal hours tomorrow? It’s a genuine question.

It's more a moral dilemma. I'm 99% sure there's no cover in place so my colleagues are going to be inconvenienced by having to stay late.

Not my responsibility, but there's nothing really stopping me from coming in early just in case.

OP posts:
Goody2ShoesAndTheFilthyBeast · 16/01/2025 20:46

nobody has asked you to do anything, so don't do anything. Just go in at your normal time.

NC10125 · 16/01/2025 20:46

Not only would I not go in early, I would also make sure that I had a convenient reason why I wasn't free for that extra hour if someone asks for Monday.

Sorry, I can't, I walk my neighbors dog in the mornings now. Sorry, I can't, I've started doing pilates and I just can't make that time etc.

DUsername · 16/01/2025 20:45

MiniCooperLover · 16/01/2025 20:40

So no one has asked you to cover, your colleague has approved leave and you don't know that they expect you to cover? It sounds like you are over thinking. Do your normal hours.

I agree. I don't really understand why you are so sure nobody has sorted out cover for him?

pizzaHeart · 16/01/2025 20:45

I don’t understand why shouldn’t you stick to your normal hours tomorrow? It’s a genuine question.

MistletoeMoments · 16/01/2025 20:45

MiniCooperLover · 16/01/2025 20:40

So no one has asked you to cover, your colleague has approved leave and you don't know that they expect you to cover? It sounds like you are over thinking. Do your normal hours.

I maybe am overthinking. I've worked there a long time though, and I know how lazy/complacent that department is Grin

OP posts:
TheseCalmSeas · 16/01/2025 20:44

I think you’re over thinking. No one has asked you to do it and even the HR department has said it’s not your responsibility.

Sounds a bit like your work/life balance is not of kilter. Maybe a bit burnt out from all that covering. Put yourself first