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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To deliberately inconvenience my colleagues?

164 replies

MistletoeMoments · 16/01/2025 20:13

I spent a big chunk of last year covering a colleagues sick leave. I was going to be the least inconvenienced by it, so agreed to do it. It was supposed to only be for a couple of weeks, but he ended up being off for 7 months!

I was exhausted by the end of it, as I was juggling my own work, and it also involved a change in hours (earlier start).

Anyway, he came back and things went back to normal.

He's now scheduled to be off for a long weekend tomorrow, and I'm 99% certain nobody has arranged cover for it. I suspect it's just assumed I'll be doing it.

WIBU to just go in at my normal time tomorrow ready for my working day? It means my nightshift colleague will need to stay behind for 1hr until I come in. He'll get paid for it, but I feel a bit bad because I used to work nights too and I know how tired he will be!

OP posts:
MistletoeMoments · 16/01/2025 21:33

RawBloomers · 16/01/2025 21:29

Why is it more moral for you to be inconvenienced than your colleague? Is your colleague more deserving of convenience than you are?

That's a good question. Especially since my colleague gets paid for his inconvenience and I do not!

OP posts:
RawBloomers · 16/01/2025 21:29

MistletoeMoments · 16/01/2025 20:47

It's more a moral dilemma. I'm 99% sure there's no cover in place so my colleagues are going to be inconvenienced by having to stay late.

Not my responsibility, but there's nothing really stopping me from coming in early just in case.

Why is it more moral for you to be inconvenienced than your colleague? Is your colleague more deserving of convenience than you are?

Anonym00se · 16/01/2025 21:29

The thread title is interesting, OP. “To deliberately inconvenience my colleagues?”

How would you be ‘deliberately inconveniencing’ them when the situation is nothing to do with you but is actually only between your absent colleague and their manager?

You should look at why you think you’re the person to blame if your colleague is kept late tomorrow.

Rachmorr57 · 16/01/2025 21:26

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AyrnotAir · 16/01/2025 21:24

Personally I'd go in half an hour early. That means you do half an hour and nightshift do half an hour. If they've already arranged cover and you aren't needed, just chill for awhile.

Greyish2025 · 16/01/2025 21:24

Go in at your normal time, no one has asked you to do otherwise, and don’t feel guilty about it either

MistletoeMoments · 16/01/2025 21:24

category12 · 16/01/2025 21:23

If you keep being the safety net, nothing will change.

It's one day's inconvenience for the night shift worker, if there's no cover - versus you picking up the slack forever more.

Thank you. That's a good way of looking at it.

OP posts:
category12 · 16/01/2025 21:23

MistletoeMoments · 16/01/2025 21:20

Just to reiterate, I'm not stressed, I'm not causing a drama. I don't intend to call in sick, or call anyone at this time of night.

I was purely wondering if I should inconvenience myself for the sake of a colleague, who I class as a friend, who I know will be tired and has a school run to do. Or do I draw a hard line for the sake of this not becoming expected of me forever more.

If you keep being the safety net, nothing will change.

It's one day's inconvenience for the night shift worker, if there's no cover - versus you picking up the slack forever more.

Greyish2025 · 16/01/2025 21:21

2025willbemytime · 16/01/2025 20:14

Or speak to your boss and explain the situation, like an adult.

The work colleague who is going off on annual leave should be the one discussing with the boss who is going to cover

needhelpwiththisplease · 16/01/2025 21:21

You are employed to work your hours.
Do your hours.
You are not responsible for anything other than your employed hours and work.
This is not your problem.
You are making it your problem!

DreamW3aver · 16/01/2025 21:20

There's no dilemma here at all, why are you taking it upon yourself to sort something out that isn't your responsibility. Why would the night shift put any blame on someone who has nothing to do with them having to stay late?

MistletoeMoments · 16/01/2025 21:20

Just to reiterate, I'm not stressed, I'm not causing a drama. I don't intend to call in sick, or call anyone at this time of night.

I was purely wondering if I should inconvenience myself for the sake of a colleague, who I class as a friend, who I know will be tired and has a school run to do. Or do I draw a hard line for the sake of this not becoming expected of me forever more.

OP posts:
DoYouReally · 16/01/2025 21:14

Why would you do it when nobody asked you to?

Most people people would assume they would have been asked if needed.

You seem overly stressed about a work issue that may not even occur and isn't your responsibility even if there is an issue.

Honestly, if you were on my team and you came in early to resolve an issue I hadn't raised and that you aren't responsible for, I think I would be asking you why and if there was any work related stress going on. It's not typical behaviour.

MissDeborah · 16/01/2025 21:14

This is bonkers!
Ring colleague on the night shift?
Go off sick?
Why on earth are you making such a drama out of this

Go in, do your shift, go home

Shinyandnew1 · 16/01/2025 21:14

You're not inconveniencing your colleagues, are you?

Just do your job and let the managers do theirs.

MistletoeMoments · 16/01/2025 21:12

LookItsMeAgain · 16/01/2025 21:04

An possibly unpopular opinion - could you get a 24 vomiting bug that will leave you fine for the weekend and you too could be off? This is what happens when manager fail to plan.

My story is that I have the skills to provide cover for a colleague. I had been doing that job for a number of years and said I've been there, done that and while I don't mind be a safety net for a new person coming in (we had been told we'd be getting up to 4 new starters in our team over the past 12 months, none have materialised) I no longer want to be seen as the defacto cover for this colleague when they are out sick/on leave/absent for whatever reason.

This came to a head towards the end of last year as this colleague was planning on being off for a week, so I had some time to take and I matched their leave. Others had to step up and provide cover. It got covered. I don't really care if people don't like that I did that because I've been saying for months and months that I can't go back to doing that job as I really found it soul destroying in the last years of me doing it and it wasn't doing my mental health any good knowing that I had to be the one to provide the cover.

Now I know that they can manage without me it actually is such a relief because I had been told previously that I couldn't book my leave at the same time as this other colleague. That was a pile of shite as it turns out!

I would phone in sick and then make a miraculous recovery for Monday!

I know exactly where you're coming from with this. It's so difficult to peel yourself away from previous roles and skill-sets especially when it's been promised its only temporary, and as you said - it never is!

Unfortunately I have to be in the office tomorrow for my own work commitments, otherwise a sudden illness is a great shout!

OP posts:
Motomum23 · 16/01/2025 21:11

Why on earth do you feel its your responsibility to manage everything OP? do you get paid extra? Do you think the company will realise how valuable you are and never let you go?? I'm sorry but you are making yourself exhausted and overthinkijf things that don't concern you for no reason.

MartinCrieffsLemon · 16/01/2025 21:08

For all you know your colleague has been asked to stay the extra hour!

You're over thinking

LookItsMeAgain · 16/01/2025 21:04

An possibly unpopular opinion - could you get a 24 vomiting bug that will leave you fine for the weekend and you too could be off? This is what happens when manager fail to plan.

My story is that I have the skills to provide cover for a colleague. I had been doing that job for a number of years and said I've been there, done that and while I don't mind be a safety net for a new person coming in (we had been told we'd be getting up to 4 new starters in our team over the past 12 months, none have materialised) I no longer want to be seen as the defacto cover for this colleague when they are out sick/on leave/absent for whatever reason.

This came to a head towards the end of last year as this colleague was planning on being off for a week, so I had some time to take and I matched their leave. Others had to step up and provide cover. It got covered. I don't really care if people don't like that I did that because I've been saying for months and months that I can't go back to doing that job as I really found it soul destroying in the last years of me doing it and it wasn't doing my mental health any good knowing that I had to be the one to provide the cover.

Now I know that they can manage without me it actually is such a relief because I had been told previously that I couldn't book my leave at the same time as this other colleague. That was a pile of shite as it turns out!

I would phone in sick and then make a miraculous recovery for Monday!

DUsername · 16/01/2025 21:04

GravyBoatWars · 16/01/2025 21:01

Gently OP, you're making this about you and it isn't. Stop trying to insert yourself into this story in a pivotal role.

There is no moral dilemna here - your involvement in this situation exists only in your head. You've been told by multiple people above you that covering for this person is not your responsibility and no one has asked you to come in early this week. Just show up for your shift and do your job.

This is harsh but fair. It's hugely overstating the situation to say YOU would be 'deliberately inconveniencing' your colleagues by turning up to work at your contracted hours.

MistletoeMoments · 16/01/2025 21:04

WhiteRosesAndCandles · 16/01/2025 21:00

I understand where you are coming from. You are worried about inconveniencing your colleague on night shift.

Also the business should have arranged extra cover for their staff member in sick leave. No doubt they have a tonne of annual leave to use now. Your leadership is rubbish at managing minimum staffing requirements.

If you don't stick to your normal hours, what will change. Are you all responsible for arranging cover when you are on annual leave?

Don't get me started on the staffing levels. We have been screaming at management for years about being too short-staffed. I'm far from the only one who is drained and exhausted from working extra hours.

My managers made all the right noises about how it's not my job to cover, but no suggestion as to an alternative arrangement.

Yes, we're all responsible for our own cover.

OP posts:
ahagwearsapointybonnet · 16/01/2025 21:04

What's wrong with just saying "Who's covering for X tomorrow, by the way"? And then if nobody else puts their hand up, resist the temptation to jump in and sacrifice yourself; just say either 'sorry but you can't do it tomorrow', or if you prefer, point out that you did all the extra cover before so maybe someone else can do it this time. Then you head off happily, knowing everyone else has had a chance to sort it (or not) and you've helped them by pointing out the possible gap without taking on extra work...

Justalittlehotpotato · 16/01/2025 21:03

Catza · 16/01/2025 20:52

In case of what??! You've been told by multiple management that it is not your responsibility to provide cover. You still keep sticking your nose in. This is quite an extraordinary level of insubordination. You basically are calling your department useless on here and acting as though you are the only person who keeps the organisation together. It's not about doing what is morally right. You are that employee who worked for organisation 30+ years and thinks they know best despite having a relatively low grade positions, aren't you?

Harsh. The OP is clearly a nice person who is worrying about the wellbeing of another colleague and worrying about not doing something, that she doesn’t have to do, all because she doesn’t want to inconvenience somebody else.

OP, if it really bothers you, message a manager this evening and say that you’d noticed Phillip was off tomorrow and that you hadn’t been asked to cover and are not able to, so just wanted to check something else was in place so that Simon wasn’t working an extra hour.

SaveMeFromMyBoobs · 16/01/2025 21:03

You're not inconveniencing anyone. At no time has anyone approached you. At no time have you agreed. You're simply turning up to work as planned.

If anyone asks why you didn't come in to cover for them bluntly and honestly say no one even broached you covering that day so you assumed it was already covered. If anyone gets more shirty tell them you did 7 months of cover surely it's someone else's turn to cover a single shift.

Rachmorr57 · 16/01/2025 21:02

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