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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Stranger asking personal questions

36 replies

Cherryupandblossom · 16/01/2025 18:31

Was speaking to another mum I've never met before at a group and she was asking loads of questions, child's birthday month and day and age, what child's school, childs name, family mum dad how many brothers sisters, where i worked, where i was born, where my partner works, etc etc

Just felt it was alot, I answered the questions to be friendly but I didn't know how to stop the personal questions or what to say. I prefer to keep things private to protect my children and myself etc

How do i manage a situation like this next time? And avoid giving out my personal information? Would you be ok with this?

AIBU yes - this is normal chat w strangers/meeting people
Not AIBU - too much info or too soon

OP posts:
NovemberMorn · 16/01/2025 18:56

HoraceCope · 16/01/2025 18:47

the answer is
What about You

Exactly that...'where do you live'? give an answer...then ask 'where do you live'?
Then talk about her area, etc...most people like talking about themselves anyway, so you are off the hook from being interrogated.

TheYearOfSmallThings · 16/01/2025 18:55

It sounds a bit much. Maybe she wants to do your star chart?

BlondeMamaToBe · 16/01/2025 18:53

I hate being interrogated like this 😂 I used to go to a beauty therapist who would spend the whole time quizzing me. I fucked her off in the end.

Janelle84 · 16/01/2025 18:52

Turn it back to them. Take control of the situation

Original poster
Cherryupandblossom · 16/01/2025 18:50

It did feel too much, I just didn't know what to say and it was alot, I didn't stop enough to think

Am my little ones or I at risk? ☹️ if so how do i fix it?

How do i deflect in future? I did ask what about you but it was after answering the questions, I agree i really need to learn how to deflect and be vague and not be led. What's your tips? What do you say? Whats your go to answers?

I really hope it was someone trying to get to know me with good intentions and a lesson learned

OP posts:
HoraceCope · 16/01/2025 18:47

the answer is
What about You

LadyKenya · 16/01/2025 18:41

It is one thing for a stranger to ask how old a child is, and completely another to want to know the date, and month, and all the rest that was asked. You did not have to answer all those types of questions. Learn to deflect such intrusions.

22nws · 16/01/2025 18:40

I’d answer vaguely.

How old are you? Wrong side of 40
Where were you born? Up North
Child’s birthday? Summer

it was probably innocent and she was just trying to get to know you in a very analytical way. Although you should watch out anyway.

MaybeItWasMe · 16/01/2025 18:37

YANBU. Could she have been a scammer? That’s all potential security info. Have you got all your cards?! Think I’d have been polite but given false dates etc.

alexdgr8 · 16/01/2025 18:37

You don't have to answer.
And some of that sounds well dodgy.
Could be used for fraud.
You must drill yourself to not be led by others so much.
Could put yourself in jeopardy.
Could just smile in a dreamy way and say well that's an interesting question.
Just side step.
All the best.

CamelsForChristmas · 16/01/2025 18:36

I have a vague acquaintance who asks questions like this. Vague as in I have only met her twice through her husband who attends a hobby club my DH attends. It's really disconcerting. I think some people are socially inept and think this sort of interrogation is polite. Or they store the info up to regurgitate to others.

I am the Queen of Deflection. I am quite shy and don't much like talking about myself. So i usually try and turn the queries back ' what about you? ' usually people are happy to talk about themselves.