Stranger asking personal questions

If it gets too much then after question 3 start rambling so
"So little Jonny was born on the 16th of the month, funny thing was that his due date was actually the same day as my friend so we thought we'd have matching birthdays but then she went into labour early. Now her older child was 2 weeks late so we never thought the next one would be early, but it was. She didn't go to hospital that I went to as she was going private. Have you seen the cost of private births, I mean it sounds lovely with your own room and all that but omg it's so much. Would you ever go private for healthcare?"

This way the ramble finishes on a different topic and so it will seem odd for her to bring back the conversation to birthdays etc

I think it’s normal to ask child’s age and what area etc, this is polite convo to see what you have in common and get to know each other. Asking where your husband works when you have first met is a bit invasive. People often ask me what my husband does for a living too.

Did she reveal as much personal stuff about her as she was asking you? Or did it feel like she was just gleaning information from you?

I had a friend who would ask really direct and intrusive questions and I found it hard to deflect. It always felt like she was compiling an information dossier. Then I realised she would share really personal stuff about her that I wouldn't have been comfortable doing so it was just her style. In the end I just felt we weren't compatible, personality-wise.

Interesting, sounds quite typical of the questions I have been asked at baby and toddler groups. I’ve never found it worrisome personally and met some good friends mainly on the basis of our shared ability to simultaneously of toddler wrangle whilst comparing our childhood traumas! I clearly gravitate toward the heart on your sleeve type.

I may be wrong but it feels like the poor woman was desperately trying to get a conversation going but was maybe just getting short answers?!

Get in quick, ask the same question back and then an extra one. How old was your son when you weaned him? Do you find the grandparents are as involved as you'd like them to be? How long did it take your pelvic floor to recover after the birth? They'll either stop or be too busy answering to ask you anything else.

Is she from
The uk ? Is completely normal to ask these questions when u first meet someone where i am from! For example what do you do how many siblings etc i know is not the norm here. I now know not to ask people what they do for a job as apparently is personal here 🤣 i speak to one mum everyday for the last 3 years still have no idea what she does

Cheeky answer that helps in these situations "oh, I prefer to keep it a little mystery" in a lighthearted tone.

Next time, just make shit up. Could also be quite fun

Next time, make out your child needs you and just walk away. I do this a lot 😂

Agree, for every question I’m asked I ask a similar question back, it soon stops

Say you need the toilet and go then come back and try to sit somewhere else or pretend you have an important phone message to answer if you need space to think.

Lots of good ideas here.
I would perhaps laugh and say that your palms are sweating! I know someone who is like this - no terrible motive just plain old bloody nosy!
I often use the phrase 'so what do you do when you're not ... working here/with the kids/at playgroup etc etc. This leads nicely into people talking about themselves which you can then build on. I learnt this because I am rubbish at smalltalk and it helps conquer my nerves a little when in a room full of people I don't know!

If someone asks about birthdays I’d say in the summer, which is really nice because you can use the outside space when you’re having a birthday party - there’s never enough space when you have 20 children running around - or you can hire a bouncy castle - it’s so hard to keep the older ones and younger ones separate though and you can’t have 9 year olds bouncing around 2 year olds because that’s a recipe for disaster - but with the weather we have you never know how it’s going to be - the last wedding I went to was in mid August but it was soooo cold and the menu was all salads and we were shivering …

You can keep talking without actually giving any really personal details.

Start by weaning yourself off the idea of having to be polite to people!

It's ok to be equally rude back and reply "that's far too personal and really none of your business."

Otherwise, listen to politicians and how they never directly answer any question put to them but choose to respond by talking about something they do want the interviewer to hear.

As with most things, practice makes perfect plus a healthy dose of menopausal 'fuck you' mentality. I frickin' love my older self! 😂

I'd go with this method. If pushed for dates I'd probably mix up the numbers from all my kids birthdays so if it does become a friendship I have the excuse I got muddled.

Some people (inc. new mums) can find social situations new and challenging. Maybe she was nervous and asked too much without thinking because she was trying too hard. Don’t necessarily assume scammer. Saying that, it is a lot of random questions. I would say things like ‘my son was born in June so the younger end of his class, he attends a school close to where we live, we live in [city name or nearby area]. Vague without being rude or making things awkward

We are programmed from a young age to be polite and reply to the adults asking us questions.

I would deflect with a joke

"Blimey, are you in MI5?"

"You'll be wanting my mother's maiden name and name of my first pet next!"

If that doesn't get through, say you have to be somewhere, or pretend your phone is vibrating or you've had a text and need to step away to make a call.

Or when someone asks you questions that make you feel slightly uneasy, recognise it sooner and start really thinking carefully about the answers. Answer very very slowly and they'll hopefully get bored. "Oooh, now there's a question, let me see if I can remember...."

On other threads people complain when no one speaks to them.

She’s out of conversation topics so has to run through all the boring stuff.
Give her something back, and move onto more interesting stuff like what was on TV last night and whether it will rain!

Assuming she wasn't taking notes, then I suspect it was just trying to make conversation rather than work out how to scam you.

I mean, when I was at toddler group I was so tired it was hard to remember my own name let along someone else's details on the off chance you could use them to scam them.

I haven't got time for all that.
I usually give them a questionnaire and ask them to complete and return it to me next week.

I'll admit, it's a bit hit and miss. Some people do (one did) but most seem to avoid me whenever I see them - I don't know why.

Stop being such a people pleaser. Just say “oh, enough about me” and then either ask her a raft of rude questions or turn and walk away.