Active discussions

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To not know if this was a big deal or not

34 replies

User09678 · 16/01/2025 18:19

So imagine your partner bought a lottery ticket, wasn't a regular gambler, did this once in a blue moon, maybe £5 once a year or so. They win 12k. Then spend it all on more gambling (but no more than this) but lose it all. They stop. Haven't gambled again since. Genuinely haven't, otherwise very financially responsible. Aibu to wish they hadn't blown the 12k? Or, was it their money to do with as they please and no issue because they started with a balance of -£5 and ended with a balance of -£5. There is definitely no ongoing gambling issue.

Yabu - you're being unreasonable, none of your business, no harm done.

Yanbu - yes, they blew thousands on nothing.

OP posts:
pimplebum · 16/01/2025 18:29

I would not believe that a person who spends 12k on gambling suddenly just stops , no way
you dont just start and stop gambling behaviour

I certainly would see this as a massive red flag

Onlyvisiting · 16/01/2025 18:27

User09678 · 16/01/2025 18:19

So imagine your partner bought a lottery ticket, wasn't a regular gambler, did this once in a blue moon, maybe £5 once a year or so. They win 12k. Then spend it all on more gambling (but no more than this) but lose it all. They stop. Haven't gambled again since. Genuinely haven't, otherwise very financially responsible. Aibu to wish they hadn't blown the 12k? Or, was it their money to do with as they please and no issue because they started with a balance of -£5 and ended with a balance of -£5. There is definitely no ongoing gambling issue.

Yabu - you're being unreasonable, none of your business, no harm done.

Yanbu - yes, they blew thousands on nothing.

Depends if you have shared finances or not normally.

NovemberMorn · 16/01/2025 18:27

It would totally piss me off. It wouldn't be a relationship breaker, though I would certainly keep a close eye on the financial aspect of our relationship from then on.

ginasevern · 16/01/2025 18:25

I'd be bloody furious but it depends what you mean by partner. Do you live together, share a mortgage, kids? To be honest I find it very hard to believe that someone who is usually so abstemious about gambling would then cheerfully blow a whopping £12k. That doesn't ring true. Are you sure he's telling the whole truth here?

TangerineClementine · 16/01/2025 18:25

The thing that would worry me about this is that it would show that my partner has a completely different attitude towards saving / spending money compared to me. It's his money etc, but I would know that there is no way I would ever do this - so I'd worry that we're incompatible in this respect.

Threecraws · 16/01/2025 18:24

Well if course everyone would rather have the 12 thousand than not n but I'd it was a one of and in the past, let it go

Civilservant · 16/01/2025 18:24

It’d be relationship over for me, as have witnessed problem gambling and impact on family, and even as a one off spending £12k is problem gambling IMO.

TrolleySign · 16/01/2025 18:22

Well yeah it's a bit shit they gambled all the 12k away and probably wish they hadn't but .. if there's no on going issues then it is what it is.

Soonenough · 16/01/2025 18:21

Of course you wish they hadn't spunked it all away on gambling 🙄 But they probably do too.