To worry my DC will waste everything they inherit?

It is all pocket money related.

Make them earn their pocket money. Good behaviour and trying hard at school means they get a basic amount, doing chores and other things around the home earns them a bit more. And don't go silly with what they get each week.

If they spend it all on crap, let them learn the hard way that they wasted their money, and if they want something expensive, encourage them to save up for it.

They need to learn to choose between £80 on one designer top, or a bag full of stuff from Primark somewhere else.

Firstly OP, if 5million in assets excluding your house(s) isn't 'truly wealthy' already, I don't know what is...

I do understand though. I have various friends who inherited quite a lot of money early on - you can avoid IHT by gifting assets, so their parents felt it made more sense to gift their kids substantial sums fairly early on (ie when they were in their 20s) to avoid the tax that would come when they die.

As a result, a few of them haven't ever really worked, and that has fuelled regret in mid-life, particularly as there won't be similar levels of wealth to pass onto their own kids (they still won't be badly off though 🙄). It's hard to be ambitious when you don't have to be...

I think the right approach, particularly as you stand to make even more money, is not to worry about it too much! Fund an amazing education (with private fees being what they are, and rising - you are probably looking at close to 2 million to put your two kids through school and uni) and go on great holidays.

Later buy a couple of flats with small-ish mortgages that your kids will need to pay off - so they need to work themselves. They'll be far more well-rounded as a result. Set up a trust for future grandchildren. And please, donate a lot to charity or set up a foundation doing philanthropic work. There is no need for a single individual or family to have multi multi millions themselves, when there are so many causes that need help.

Sorry, OP, but this is really funny.

Most people with money worry about leaving their children a large inheritance because they're worried about the children (Will inheriting make them lazy/target for gold diggers/out of touch?) This is the Bill Gates idea- leave your children enough that they can do anything, but not so much that they can do nothing.

You seem worried about leaving your children a large inheritance because you're worried about the money for its own sake, not the children at all. It might just be how you're expressing yourself but it's properly odd 😂

If you do end up with enough money that this becomes an issue, maybe only leave them part of it. But you will have to find something to do with the rest and that means it might- gasp!- get spent on something. You can't tie it up in perpetuity.

Or there could be another pandemic only this time it's more like Ebola.

DH family are very wealthy and across cousins the wealth trickled down. The experience has been generally very poor, ie

The children grew up with expectations that they wouldn't have to work their way in life. They expected to work in the family business and fly through to management. That got scuppered when the business was subject to a takeover bid. Whilst it made the family of several siblings very wealthy, it blew up the expectation of an easy job. There was a massive row of these entitled offspring. Was truly dreadful and beyond belief at the entitlement.

Did they get jobs? Yes but they were crap because they had never bothered to study and get exams and work experience. Never mind, some of the parents handed down money when they got married. Frankly the spouses of all of them were totally obviously money grabbing and lazy individuals. Guess what the two that married split up and spouses walked off with virtually most of the money as they got residency of the kids. The parents learnt their lesson and the third wasn't given a free handout and was tied up in a trust which resulted in a huge row with their new spouse who had expected a huge cash handout and suddenly it was trolled.

Interestingly on another side of the family the windfall was tucked away and not distributed. The kids grew up expecting to have to work and fund themselves....they have both turned out much much better.

Money is nice but can horribly influence children negatively.

So definitely take legal advice on trust funds that will protect from greedy spouses and be very careful about handouts

You need a financial advisor who specialises in inheritance planning.

@Karneval25 I expect they’ll have advice but 5 million assets inc a home not ‘Succession’ type wealth or hugely unusual across London & home counties. It’s not Ultra high net worth.

Or maybe you will have lost it all by the time they’re due to inherit. Maybe you make some bad investments or fall for scammers. Or maybe there will be a revolution and the mobs will steal all your assets?

YABU to be worrying about if your toddlers are going to be savvy enough to grow their inherited wealth in 50 years time

I like Warren Buffet's advice: "Leave your children enough money so they can do anything, but not enough that they don't have to do anything"

Wise words

@Namechangean most ultra high net worths etc are very concerned with legacy & what that looks like. You’ll have no control over children’s partners or how they’ll influence things or otherwise.

Astounded that someone in your position does not have a Financial Advisor who would have explained exactly how to invest your wealth to preserve it for future generations.

I've seen friends, workmates and others piss away all their parents hard earned money. It's a real thing, but I don't think there is much you can do to avoid it, especially if you provide all the trappings of wealth to your DC as they grow. My SiL is counting the days till her PiL die and the money arrives, it's just horrible to hear.
Trust fund locked down to fund education only is my vote.

Bring them up properly - nurture them - love them - install a sense of self-worth, responsibility, kindness, and teach them that possessions have to be earned and valued and you will put them in good stead.

Who cares? You’ll be dead

If you're that worried your children will fritter it away then leave it to a cats home. You'll be gone anyway. What will it matter to you how they spend 'your' money? It's no use to you when you're gone. You can't demand they return it.

What, honestly, is the ‘ideal’ scenario you envisage?

This .

Don’t spoil them. Don’t buy them everything. Encourage them to get jobs when they are teenagers. Give them reasonable pocket money and make them budget.

If in 20 years your children are feckless, put it in trust until they are 30.

Have you heard the proverb "From clogs to clogs in 3 generations"

I have two friends with mutli millionaire parents. They have been brought up to be careful with money and have no expectations as far as parental money is concerned. You'd have no idea they come from money at all. Their parents gave them money for property but nothing ridiculous and they work in normal jobs and pay their mortgages. I'm sure are the back of their minds they are thinking about future inheritance but you wouldn't know it.
So.basically what I'm saying is you can bring your children up to be as privileged and entitled as you choose.

Based on what my parents (and the parents of others I know) did, invest wisely yourselves both in a diverse investment portfolio, and in services to manage, preserve and grow wealth. Use wealth management services and consider what your long term goals are, and how best your can achieve those. You can utilize trust funds.

Prepare them for wealth. That isn’t to say deny them it and have them struggle for the sake of it, as I don’t think that engenders the healthiest attitude towards money any more than encouraging profligacy does. You don’t have to pretend their reality is different to what it is - they come from a wealthy family and that’s okay, their world is no less real than that of those with less.

Ime it boils down to education. Involve them from a young age so they grow up with an awareness and understanding of financial matters. Invest in them. If you instill in them that knowledge you will encourage in them a vested interest in both preserving and growing what your family has.

The world is so uncertain. There could be a worldwide financial crash and you'd have to take your 5 million in a wheelbarrow to the baker's shop like in 1930's Germany.

Or, Britain could be turned into Airstrip One like in George Orwell's 1984 as the 53rd or 54th State of the USA after Canada, Greenland and (possibly) Mexico

Or, Russia, China and the BRICS nations could take over and you'd have digital roubles to play with under a social credit score...

I know this sounds alarmist but those people with their multi million dollar homes in Pacific Palisades, California thought they were quite comfortable, didn't they?

Your kids are still young, enjoy them and think about money later.

What is the point of this? You don't seem to be seeking advice on how to avoid what you're worried about (and not trying to make any more money/ leaving it all to charity don't seem like very likely options anyway). Whether people agree it's worth worrying about or not is unlikely to change what you will do. So what's the point of your post if it isn't just a (not-so-humble) brag?

You should also not "pin hopes" on all of that still being around when they are adults. If you and your DH separate finances may change, one of you may become ill and need to pay for care/not be able to work.

Really you cannot worry about things that far ahead. Financial planning is one thing but this sounds quite like an anxious spiral starting?

There's no pockets in shrouds and it's not your money when you're dead. If you don't want your kids to inherit will.it elsewhere