To think schools should have rules for everyone or don't bother having them

I understand the need for accommodations in clothing and fidgets etc, but no disability needs purple hair, that is an adult making a decision to change the colour of their child's hair to something that is explicitly against the school policy...that one I do not get.

It’s completely reasonable to stand back and ask if a rule can be adjusted for one or a small group, perhaps the rule doesn’t need to exist at all. Sometimes it needs to remain, sometimes it can be adjusted or removed.

the chair example above isn’t a bad one. Our school started bringing in special chairs for some children. They absolutely needed them. Teachers realized that other children might not need them, but could also benefit. The result was the pta buying a variety of special chairs for every classroom. Children who need them always have them. The rest are used on a rotating basis, when a child is having a higher needs day, or however the teacher decides to best allocate them.

for something like trainers, perhaps it is time for the school to realize that what matters is the structure of the shoe and not its appearance.

rules should have logic, otherwise they just waste time.

I imagine schools these days pick their battles and turn a blind eye to a lot of incorrect uniform. It's not fair, though, if some kids are being pulled up on it while others are flouting the rules and nothing is being said.

I do get fed up of people on here sanctimoniously reminding you that "you don't know the full story" and that so and so might have a medical reason for wearing Spiderman shoes. Maybe - or maybe they just like wearing them, their parents can't be bothered to lay down the law and the school lets them get away with it too. Some parents at DS's school will do anything for an easy life, it seems to me.

Oh I do agree with this . As long as it isn't considered to be an SEN thing. Ditto unicorn headbands etc. I appreciate a child might need wear one if that's the only hairband they have and their parents are struggling financially, that's a temporary situational thing.

I do like the idea of a bucket of fidget toys so any child in need of one can use one. A child may not have a diagnosis of autism but they may be having a bad day or prone to struggling with the odd anxiety or panic attack at times. Maybe they are going through a tough time for a bit. These things won't neccessarily be covered by an ECHP, not if the needs don't warrant a 1:1, (a lot of mental health things don't for example , some severe ones might) but they can affect any child for a while.

I can understand a certain amount of gatekeeping being needed for resources aimed at severe and enduring SEN, but emotional and behavioural health, not so much, as all kids get anxious or emotional at times. Fidget toys, access to a quiet space to calm down etc can be made available for all kids and should be, IMO, as the need arises.

Primary schools cant enforce uniform, they are relying on goodwill and common sense of the parents. However I don’t see why at primary school they need to be so particular. If parents are rushing round in the morning is it really a priority to find a navy hairband instead of a pink one. If your child wants to wear Spider-Man trainers because another child does thats a learning opportunity about how we ought to follow the rules even if someone else isnt, and how some people have different needs.

@Whatisgoingonheredear the parents of the child with coloured hair could have been called in by the Headteacher dozens of times and told over and over not to do it.
But it's not the child's fault (a primary age child won't be colouring their own hair) so what really can the school do?

What sort of special educational need requires a unicorn headband?

There are rules for exams. There are also reasonable adjustments for exams. And rules
for these. It is the responsibility of adults to teach children tolerance as well as socialisation.
The rules are the rules. It is only your child that is your responsibility.

@Whatisgoingonheredear the thing with hair colouring sometimes it doesn't wash out/fade as quickly as you think it will.
I know of people (including children) that coloured their hair for an event or whatever fully expecting it to have washed out in time before the school term or whatever starts.
Which is more important - sending someone home from school/work because of their hair colour or just not caring what colour the hair is.
If a child turns up to school with bright pink hair the parents could have actually received a phonecall and telling off but the child is there, in school and deserves an education.
You don't know what the parents have been told.

They generally do. But they must make reasonable adjustments where necessary, it's the law. I suppose younger children may not understand this though. But older children and parents can.

What do the school actually do about the pink stripe on trainers?

If they are just moaning at you/sending uniform reminders, then they are probably also doing the same with the other parents.

If they are punishing your child, then I would complain as the uniform is not enforceable at primary (is it? wasn't historically anyway).

It’s not fair on children and creates a tremendous amount of stress and anxiety. They don’t understand why they’re getting into trouble for wearing the wrong socks but the kid who’s not even in correct uniform gets to go round punching people. It makes them feel unsafe and that the teachers are picking on them but favouring other children.
Of course after being punished unfairly over a period of time the child will lose their temper one day and lash out at the bullies, or just in general, and the school will punish them severely and give the parents half the story that the parents will believe but doesn’t really add up. And then comes mental issues and school refusal etc etc.

Schools, and particularly primary schools, need to decide which hills they are willing to die on. My DD's primary school had a "white or black trainers only" rule and she was told off for having black and white trainers. I wasn't going to buy trainers for school and out of school and finding wide enough trainers for her wasn't easy or cheap. She wasn't in control of what I would or wouldn't buy. And the parents generally agreed to ignore that rule. So all it did was cause friction. Her secondary school and others locally don't seem to have rules like that about trainers. It's all so pointless.

What do you want primary schools to do?
Expel the children and deny them an education?
As long as clothes are suitable for the day (ie not a summer dress on a day when it's forest school) or don't have slogans on that are rude or offensive - primary children should be able to wear what they like.
Secondary too in my humble opinion.

I agree.
Don’t have rules that aren’t going to be fully enforced. It’s much easier on the staff, pupils and parents to not have the rules at all.
The pupils and parents often “break the rules” because they are applied inconsistently and I’d hazard a bet that it’s no fun for adults having to tell people to take their coat/hoodie off before they enter the building or whatever.

Yep. Our son needs certain footwear due to a disability, at his last primary some parents complained to the school that he was breaking uniform rules and not being told off, I wonder how many of those parents would have wanted his disability for their little darlings.

I get you OP Pupils are told the rules are important therefore they must obey them, then they see other children being allowed to "ignore" the rules and they don't understand why. Is it any wonder our children have realised that to wear the trainers they want or get to ignore the teacher they either just have to have an issue so they say they anxiety or become badly behaved because being badly behaved pays. They then continue this behaviour into adulthood. We have created this mess

Uniform might be due to sensory needs, some of our children cannot wear a polo shirt or trousers so wear a t shirt and joggers instead.

Fidget toys, again are at the agreement with the teacher. Those that need one generally bring one from home but we do have some in school along with other items to help those that need it and we will hand out as necessary.