Withholding information is the same as lying, right?

He's gaslighting you.

Given the reasons he did it (because he thought you "wouldn't react well") then yes in my books it's basically the same thing. It's lying by omission.

Really though it doesn't matter whether or not you class it as lying. What he did was still not great.

Even if you don't call it a lie, that doesn't mean it's OK.

There’s lying by omission and it can be just as bad as outright lying. My ex used to do it, and it would infuriate me. The end result being the same, ie you can’t trust them.

OP was deceived into believing something that wasn't the case as a result of him not telling her crucial information.

Liars tie themselves in knots trying to wriggle out of admitting they lied. If you intentionally mislead, omit information, or give half-truths, they're all technically lying.

White lies (like to save people's feelings) and shit that is none of your business to know in the first place are still lies. Lies aren't always bad, but they sound bad because 'lie' is such a loaded and accusatory word.

The larger issue in your relationship is the problem. The larger issue is that for whatever reason he avoids being honest and open with you—and then blames you for his refusal to be honest. Reasons for him being avoidant and secretive are 1) childhood habit/trauma, 2) cowardice, 3) shame, 4) bad intentions. Each of these is a serious problem in a marriage. He lacks trust in you, and respect for you. That is what it amounts to. The stupider and more insignificant the lie the stupider and more insulting his “ reason” that you would have been “upset.” So what? Is he a toddler and can’t handle mummy being upset? Or is he selfish and arrogant and doesn’t see a need to negotiate and share information if he doesn’t just get a complete pass from his partner?

Do you normally over react / react badly to things that he has told you, if you do then that I think you know why he did it

Meaning Of Telling Lies
_
" To Intentionally deceived someone"_

Not the same

It's not exactly the same but it's still an unkind thing to do because you feel it has made you look foolish. Presumably you have done or said something publicly which you wouldn't have done if you had known the true situation? Also, he can't accurately say how you would have reacted a year ago because he withheld that choice from you and has made you less likely to trust him in the future. Sometimes information is private or not up to the secret-holder to share, though.

Depends what he didn't tell you.

He hit the car and got it fixed and didn't want to say - then meh

He spent all his pension savings on lottery tickets - bigger deal

No, it's not lying. That doesn't mean you can't be crossed about it, particularly if it's a situation that affects you too in some way.

Saying that, I've found that 99% of the time, omission does involve some degree of lying too in most situations, even if it's about something else/some tangential, in order to keep omitting "that" information.

difficult to comment without know what he was withholding, I would be annoyed as-well if I had to hear it through a friend

Have you ever read Enid Blyton books? The kids in the famous five never lie but they do give ambiguous (but truthful) answers sometimes.

Unless you specifically asked him about it and he told you no, then he hasn't lied.

Not telling you something isn't lying. It depends what it was and how important it was for you to know.

I suppose it depends on what it is.

He's booked a dream holiday for himself and told others but not you. So you feel foolish when others mention it.

He's paid for extended family holiday and not told you.

So many scenarios it could be.

It really depends on what it is though. I mean I don't tell my DH everything (not about my hidden chocolates for ex). Is it something that concern you?

Agree

What kind of information are talking about?

It depends... did he not mention he has a mistress or that he called in sick to work one day but stayed home instead to rest?
If the information withheld affects you, I agree, but otherwise why do partners have to tell each other everything?

Was it likely that you’d find out or was your h banking on you never knowing or somebody who wasn’t him telling you?

Does this info involve your kids? Is it serious like something involving the police or financial ?

Do you think that you’ll feel better once the shock of finding out has subsided? How shocked would you have been if he told you?

I also think it depends.

There are some clear reasons stuff should remain confidential, but I am assuming you aren't talking about those.

I think what it comes down to is, is it something he ought to have told you, or something you would like him to have told you.

There are some things where there is some kind of obligation to say something to a spouse, and it's bad if you don't.

Not being honest
Deception
The worst for me is when someone thinks they will 'deal with it for me'.
No need to worry your pretty little head about that I will do it.