At my wits end, school run

Is she one of the 'good girls' at school?

DD is and she's utterly overwhelmed by the time home time comes, she needs time where she isn't following rules, listening to questions, etc etc

Snacks are your friend here

And allowing quiet time, it's saved many an afternoon for me

This! On no account should she be hitting out at you or running away etc, however she is feeling. And at age 5, she knows that.
I think I am old school but I would be having stern words about that side of things. For the rest, agree, a snack or other distraction might be a good idea.

I was very similar as a child, was because back then the toilet doors weren’t proper lock ones and anyone could see over and I didn’t like the lack of privacy so wouldn’t go to the toilet all day, which resulted in me either having an accident or being overwhelmed or cranky because I hadn’t been to the toilet or had a drink

@JellyBeann97 I bet a lot of this is hunger related.

@littlemissprosseco Is spot on...turn up with food.

Kids get ravenously hungry, and hunger means grumpiness a lot of the time- so a ripe banana or sandwich that she can eat right away might well help.

You definitely need to speak to the teacher about that.

She might find it too busy at playtimes and is too embarrassed to ask at other times (or not allowed which enrages me)

How is it rude?!?

The op never even mentioned autism?!

eh? I don’t think there is anything wrong with a bit of sugar. In fact I’d say a carby sugary snack is perfect after school snack. Something like an oat bar or indeed a jsm sandwich, which is definitely sugar!

Rude! Autistic brigade! How dare you.. the comments are for help and advice. If they don't want the replies no matter what they be, then the post shouldn't be created.

She is, she’s late July born so one of the younger ones

So in year One? doing formal learning?

I wish people would shut up about masking and autism.

Visual timetable to help with days of the week?

Do not do this !!

So lots of sugar then 😆

Humiliation is hardly going to help tackle whatever is going on!

I have learnt with ds (15 now) that some days I just can’t talk to him on the way home from school. He has been bombarded with so much he has to cope with during the day he can’t cope with any sort of demand on the way home.

Since he was in early primary school he has left school via the office a few minutes before everyone else as the crowds at pick up tip him over the edge.

My son hates school and we have issues going in and out. I find hes hungry and thirsty straight away and bringing a nice snack and drink helps a lot. Also, could try bringing a plushy to pick up or saying the plushy is waiting in the car. Also, we detour via a small park sometimes that helps as a treat and to destress after school.

Definitely take a snack, but I don't know what you mean by her not letting you hold her hand, surely you just hold her hand tight and if she does manage to wriggle away then you lift her to the car.

I don't believe this would help the situation at all. It's unkind actually.

It's much tougher on the younger ones in the early years... but I promise you this phase will pass. I had one who was late August and they were literally shattered at the end of school.
Don't give a stuff about what people think. There will always be some snotty person, but who cares what they think? Its very stressful for you having to worry about them. Just remind yourself, she's still so young and really not many weeks off being in Reception.

I think the loo thing may be significant. One of mine had a very strict head who declared that Reception would have to learn to only wee during the breaks. Cue lots of them wetting themselves (sometimes out of stress). The CA said she thought it was a really unfair ruling. Its really worth finding out what their policy is on loo breaks.

Have a kind chat with her at the weekend about school pick ups...she might say more then. Best of luck x

If after checking there has been no upset during her day, and she still continues with what I feel is purely a tantrum, I’d walk away and leave her kicking on the ground. See how long it takes her to realise she has no audience. (And no I’m not advocating you drive away and leave her there!) but simply walk to a vantage spot and see what she makes of your new reaction.

I’m thinking that ignoring this behaviour is preferable to giving it airtime. Hard when maybe this is witnessed, but her current behaviour is not easy compared to that of her classmates. I’m thinking she is not behaving this way for her teacher? Good luck.

Are you walking distance from school? if possible could you take her scooter/dolls pram to school or even a doll for her to 'look after' on the way home? I am thinking along the lines of distraction for her

My eldest ds was exactly the same at that age. Year 1 does feel like a big step up from reception and there is a lot more focus on sitting nicely and listening, which I always thought was developmentally a bit too much to expect from most 5 year olds. I found taking a snack, not talking to him and stopping by the park on the way home for a run around helped a lot.

My ds also had the same problems with going to the toilet at school (or anywhere that wasn't home). I made the mistake of hoping he'd grow out of it and it ended up dragging on for years and leading to other toileting issues. He's almost 11 now and still has problems linked to this; I wish someone had advised me to deal with the problem when he was 5!

Ds is autistic, but I think these problems are common in a lot of 5 year olds, so doesn't necessarily mean she is ND.

Also, don't worry about people staring at you or judging you. Your child will definitely not be the only one who is struggling.

What about an Audio book for the car - along with the snack. I used to do this with my youngest when I had two at different schools, and we were driving to pick up the other one. I was surprised at the difference it made.

I never gave a choice, I just said ‘Today we’re listening to …..’

I think this is a bad idea .
She is very young , has been 'restrained' in school all day and is probably hungry , overwhelmed and glad to be free .
School is brutal for some children .

Take her some organic dried kale - that should do the trick.

This ^ There could be more going on underneath. Even if not, school is hard work, especially at age 5.

Sandwich and fruit and a bit of investigation, have a chat to school.

My DDs the same age and has been like this coming out of school since this term started. It’s coincided with her going onto school dinners, which she asked to do, and I’m sure it’s that she’s hungry as the portion sizes are smaller than the packed lunch she had. DD is never hungry in the mornings so only has something small like and apple and always had a bigger lunch so I think she’s hangry. I started taking a banana for her to eat on the way home the last few days and she’s been better, I’d definitely try a snack.

Put toddler reins on her, and make her feel silly. Tell her she will have to wear them until she stops behaving like a little toddler.