Threat to gate crash DD wedding

Yeah, I hear you. Once I'd read on i realised it's just not ok.

Then they don't come.

Is it possible they can't leave her if she has MH issues?

Such a drama - a friend of mine appeared uninvited at our wedding. She normally lived in N. America and I didn't even know she was in the country! On the other hand, my SIL missed the train and never turned up so it all balanced out.
Seriously, if you know you niece has MH issues and can't be left alone make her welcome.

It isn't OP's wedding, it is her daughters wedding. Her daughter isn't close to her and if any would be going, I imagine it would be the ones in England who are closer to her.

Just because it is OP's niece, doesn't mean she is automatically invited to the wedding.

It is so bizarre to me.

They are your family, how could you not invite them? In this case, they're travelling from the other side of the world. I wouldn't bother. In this situation, I'd probably never speak to my 'Darling' sis again.

You can have workmates that you most probably won't speak to again when you change jobs, friends that you might fall out with, have your DH friends and family, but not accommodate your own niece or nephew?

@SouthLondonMum22 its not anybody its
her niece! God YOU people. Side eye

Sorry but I would invite the whole family, not just the parents as you're all part of it. Xx

Invite who you want. Ignore everyone else. Families are never easy. But do not feel you have to invite one cousin. Totally irrespective of their situation as you will then feel obliged to invite all cousins. Just do what you want!

Stop infantilising the woman. OP has said she has MH issues so still lives at home. She can be left alone. She might have anxiety or depression. There’s no reason for us to believe she has severe mental health issues that require constant care. She’s in her late 20s and it’s just really patronising for everyone to be insisting she should be invited just because she has a mental health diagnosis. No one is saying that about the aunts son

@Sometimesright Because they are coming from Australia. Exceptional circumstances. Same if travelling from US .That's why .

please invite her

But the venue has set numbers and they have already invited guests and are at max capacity. They would have to uninvite someone they actually want there, to accommodate someone they don’t. I imagine the aunt and uncle are only there because the bride’s parents want them there, I’m guessing the bride and groom would rather have someone else in their place if they could. Is that correct@Aussierelative ? Does your daughter even particularly want her aunt and uncle there? Or she doing it because she feels she has to? If so for the love of weddings don’t make her have the ghastly cousin too.

You are being mean and unkind to your vulnerable niece. She seems to need to be with her parents. Just be glad your Dd is doing so well by comparison - and invite the poor thing!

You need to first establish if this information you recieved is true. I'd just pick up the phone and ask her.

If it is true I'd ask her why she would think it would be appropriate to just turn up with an extra guest, albeit my niece, without having the having the manners and respect to ask.

I think it's odd and rude thing to do just rocking up with additional people anyway but especially when you aren't that close.

My biggest issue would be the lack of respect and not asking first but it really is for your DD to decide.

Chances are you'd have a last minute dropout so one extra wouldn't make much difference.

It was inappropriate of your DH to propose uninviting everyone, including your sister. Doing something like that is of an explosive, relationship ending scale, even if you are not particularly close.

The face to face chat that you had was a much better response. It would be nice if at all possible for the niece to be able to attend the ceremony (given she is hopeful) and perhaps with the limited budget / place numbers, she could spend the reception eating elsewhere in the building or nearby. Just because the cousins didn’t get on as children it doesn’t mean it must always remain thus.

Exactly. The other cousins will be put out.

If the OP is helping to pay for the wedding then I think she should be persuading the bride to be to put this niece as No 1 on the reserve list. If anyone drops out (almost inevitably will happen). then the niece gets to attend. People often assume that guests will be willing to comply with whatever demands the bride and groom make, that can be a big mistake. One friend of mine had to send 10 late invites because as soon as they excluded +1s from some friends all the friends refused the invitations.

I agree: it's your DD's and her fiance's decision. I understand it may be an uncomfortable situation for you, but I think you should speak candidly with your sister and explain the situation.
If I were your sister and couldn't let my daughter behind, I wouldn't come to the wedding and excuse myself.

OMG how did this happen? Surely without an invitation there is no ambiguity

How does this work with the limit of 60 people then? I suppose it can't be enforced?
Or fire regulations?
I suppose the last person to arrive might be refused?

Sorry that message was meant for the OP...

Exactly. It isn’t worth putting cousins (and their parent’s) noses out of joint who actually live in the same country.

They have had to make decisions based on budget, wedding style etc and it’s nice that your daughter invited your sister and her husband to their wedding given they have almost no relationship but it’s taking the piss to expect your daughter and her husband to be to be guilted into inviting someone she barely knows and doesn’t like!

Grow a spine op and tell your sister no.

I think you are all behaving very precious, A family who lack compassion and understanding.