Threat to gate crash DD wedding

Why on earth would you expect relatives to be invited to a wedding where they have only met the bride a handful of times?

So they pay £1000’s
to come to wedding and have niece that’s semi dependent on them seems beyond mean not to invite niece

if I were them I’d be making no great effort and save myself £1000’s and not come

I think we all need to know whether DN is going to get a personalised party bag and vegan pizza wedding favour and meal 😂

I remember once when I wasn’t invited to a family christening as it was Uncles and Aunts only, not cousins. Apart from I was the only cousin who lived in the country at the time and likely the only one that would go!! People don’t forget how they are treated.

It is eight months away. Worry about it nearer the time. If it's really about numbers there is a good possibility someone will drop out.

I agree. It's rather mean not to and why are no cousins at all invited from either side? If you don't see them much, some are not likely to accept an invitation anyway but to not invite them, unless there is a back story, is odd. Of course that is entirely your business.

Imagine leaving someone out when they've travelled that far.

And 60+40 is certainly not a small wedding. Ridiculous.

You're bending over backwards and tying yourself into knots to emphasise how distant you are to your sibling. Whatever the issues between you two, she has been invited to the wedding. She will be attending at significant cost to herself & husband so as a compromise I'd invite her dd to the evening reception. I would also let her know that if someone does drop out of the service then her dd can attend the full day.

Stop being an arse about it. You're quite happy for your dsis to spend money to attend & buy your dd a wedding gift but won't invite her dd who has mh issues. She's not a random stranger, she's your niece.

Obviously DD doesn't have to invite them, but the aunt and uncle were already invited so the cousin is only one extra. I can't see it is worth making a huge fuss about.

Just speak to your sister and tell her the invite is just for her and her husband.
Unless the niece came instead of the husband.
Explain the limit is 60 and you're at Taft already so just need to make sure they're not intending to bring her as there won't be a meal or table setting for her.

To be honest, they live in Australia and perhaps you could have made an exception for them, or do you really want none of them to come at all?

@Aussierelative I think the above sounds very fair and reasonable?

Because they didn't play nicely 10 years ago she can't be invited? Local cousins can grow a pair.

Yup.

Christ these are not exceptional. She's managed on her own before. Why should ops dd invite people she doesn't like?

I don't think you should upset any more people about this 'rumour'. Get in touch with your sister, say you are looking forward to seeing her and her DP at the wedding. You may have already discussed this with her but repeat that the size of the wedding is strictly limited because of the size of the venue. Mention that your DD was unable to include any of her cousins "even the ones she is close to". The person sharing this rumour may have misunderstood or be deliberately trying to cause drama. Why are they not encouraging your DSis to talk to you?

Will you be meeting up with your sister and her family when they are over, other than at the wedding? If so, you can focus on how much you are looking forward to seeing your neice then.

That is really very mean of you OP. Your her aunt and they are flying all the way over from aus, if you really despise your family that much why invite them at all?

Why should she invite people she doesn't want there? Fair enough if you are okay with being walked over, but not everybody else is.

Plus food is expensive. It can cost £70+ a head for a 3 course meal.

Stick to your guns OP. I'd drop a text to her to 'remind' her that the invitation is for the named guests only.

As someone else said, it's only one extra person and her circumstances are exceptional (needs to be with her parents and has mental health issues and is coming a very long way) so there's no way that all the other cousins would expect to be invited because she is. Unless the parents and the cousin are deeply unwelcome for some other reason, best just invite them rather than risk some bit alienation.

Perhaps she is coming over with them as a holiday, as she still lives at home and knows she isn't invited to the wedding. And saw it as an opportunity to visit the UK and see family. Not necessarily at the wedding!

Why don't you just say 'we'd love to include her but the venue is at capacity and we cannot uninvite anyone at this stage. But if anyone is unable to make it on the day, then of course she can attend as there will be a place available then. But obviously we can't guanatee it and won't know until the actual day.'

Hardly difficult!

On today's round of make your own shit up to fit what you think is really happening even though you are no part of this and don't know the people involved