Threat to gate crash DD wedding

This

They are travelling across the world and their daughter has additional needs. Your attitude beggars belief.

Shameful to exclude her.

The groom comes from a bigger family who live quite locally so they have had to exclude quite a lot of cousins from his side.

so some cousins have been invited as per the above quote by OP! Exclude quite a lot, but not all!

But it’s already been stated that not all his cousins have been invited, some have, so why would it change if they don’t worry already that some have and some haven’t?

she’s not the only cousin that will be there, if she’s actually invited.

The decision was made months ago not to invite any cousins from either side.

All cousins either side.

1 niece travelling all the from AUS, as she still lives with her parents, potentially, due to her MH issues who are both attending the wedding and you dont want to invite her !!! How mean !

What other cousins?

But if she invited this cousin people are likely to find out then his cousins and her other cousins could be annoyed they're not invited. It's never just 1 extra at these things.
The ops dd hasn't seen her in 10yrs, didn't get on when they did see each other. So there is no reason to invite her.

No one asked her to travel. She could just stay home. If the aunt thinks her late twenties, adult DC cannot stay home and they need an extra invite because of her poor mental health, she needs to be upfront and ask. And if it’s a no, stay home if needs be.

Not just turn up with her in emotional blackmail.

If she has to come, I’d be explaining to all the other cousins why she had to be invited when they were not.

The girl has mental health issues and is travelling the whole way from Australia, fgs just invite her, it's a total non issue imo

Tbh I can understand their point of view, if they're coming all the way from Australia for a wedding it's understandable to want to bring their DC even if they don't end up coming to the actual wedding. They'll still be able to see family at other times.
If it was me I probably would squeeze in one extra person even if it was just for the ceremony then evening do, but also if your DD really can't then your sister should understand that and your niece will just have to amuse herself for a few hours during the wedding.

Maybe on your face time "glad you and dh are travelling over. I'm not sure if either of your kids are coming over with you, but obviously the wedding invite is just you and dh due to capacity".

It would be wrong of your sister to bring you DN along when she isn't invited. I remember walking down the aisle, and I turned my head slightly, to find a stranger in my wedding. My cousin had brought his new gf (who hadn't been invited) that was a shock!

The couple haven't asked the daughter to travel over from Australia. She wasn't invited because they have no relationship. The last interaction they had was ten years ago. Why on earth would anyone prioritise such a distant family member at their wedding over someone who they actually see and speak to?

This. She’s a cousin and your niece. She has mental health issues and dependent on her parents. They are travelling fr AUSTRALIA. Good lord she need to be invited. What is wrong with people?

Who is paying for the wedding?

Oh for heavens sake, if your niece and nephew want to travel all the way from Australia invite them.

There's no need for any drama about it.

This is fair enough under usual circumstances but your sister is coming from literally the other side of the world at great expense and effort. It's extremely mean spirited not to extend the invitation to one extra person in this situation IMO. And if their DD has MH issues that have rendered her unable to thrive independently, of course it's a big ask for all of them to leave her thousands of miles away for an extended period of time.

I think if you're going to be mean about her coming, you probably just shouldn't have invited any of them. It's poor form.

*grooms

There's a possibility that your niece might be ok to be alone at home where she has familiar things and support but not in a strange place and country. But that's your sister and her husbands issue to sort. Ultimately though its your daughter and her partners wedding, so they get the final say on who comes or doesn't.

Surely a place at the evening reception could be found. Hardly likely to offend anyone.

No, it’s already been said that other cousins on the groups side are not being invited, so it’s not and all or none situation at all.

Exactly!

also Ops DH sounds like a bloody dictator nightmare! It’s all about what he thinks!

Message Dsis and say I was thinking N might like these .....activity ideas....whilst your at the wedding....such a shame she can't attend but we just don't have a spare seat as at maximum room numbers already.....we were hoping to all get together on... y...looking forward to seeing you....

This.

Oh come on, anyone making the effort to travel all the way from Australia can surely be found a place at the wedding?!