To ask what you think the ideal age gap between kids is?

There's a year gap between my oldest two and 5 years between the younger two, I think every family just fits in with what they have, don't think there's a right or wrong answer to this.

I've currently got a 7 month old, and would personally like to wait until she's around 3.5 to start trying for another baby (so between 4-5 years gap hopefully)

5 and 3 worked for us. We were particularly smug about no uni overlap. That didn’t work out though. 😀

21 months between mine, I've really enjoyed this age gap.

Girl/Boy 3 years 2 months apart. I could have had them closer but it didn't happen, it's always seemed perfect.

Well for me it's 15 months! (Gap between my 2 girls.)

Neither of them know life without each other, they were close companions as children, (fought a bit as teenagers, for several years,) but now are close as young adults. Were at school together for the most part too. Although it was a bit expensive having to buy 2 of everything, as they were so close (needed 2 of everything for school for example.) They had separate bedrooms, so if one woke in the night, they didn't wake the other.

I would not ever have wanted any other age gap.

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2-3 years was perfect for me, one out of nappies / toilet trained and going to preschool every afternoon to give me and the new baby sone time to sleep!

As others, 4 years is what life decided in our family. Eldest at pre-school and baby contact napping 😅 Their relationship was/is the most precious thing in the world 🥲

5 years for me, meant I had one at school so I could enjoy the 2nd one in the same way.

4-5 years for me, they get a good amount of concentrated parenting and attention during the crucial years, they are usually able to go to the toilet, have some reasoning for patience and have some ability to play by themselves for a bit when the next sibling comes along and are sleeping well!
Mine are 17, 13 and 9 this year.

I have a 4 year gap, 16 month gap, 3 year gap and 9 year gap so quite the range!
I would say it really depends on what your expectations are and how you feel I.e get nappies all over and done with quickly, joint activities for the kids but kids always together or bigger gap and more time with each baby on their own.
Every gap had pros and cons and I don't regret any of them.

I wanted 2.5-3 years but got 4.
It's been absolutely lovely.

4 year old excited to meet baby and old enough to understand when I need to do something like change nappy or do a feed. Also old enough to play alone a bit and has just started school.

It also meant I had 4 solid years with 1st child, which I think has benefited him (and which I really enjoyed).

2 years 1 month for me. The early days were hard but I had a good sleeper for the first one and a bad sleeper for the second one!

However now, they're close enough in age to play together. I also think by the time you get to three, the thought of doing it all again would be daunting and I feared I probably would have knocked it on the head. For me, at least.

It all depends on how the first one is, tbh.

There's 16m between me and my brother and that was shit. From the child's perspective, I'd say at least 3 years.

I used to want about an 18 month age gap so that they would be "close" before I had children then DS1 hit us like a hurricane and no way would I have managed 2 under 2 and kept my sanity!

We have a 3 year age gap between DS1 and DS2 and so far it's worked well. DS1 was potty trained, could understand instructions (like let me finish x then I can help) and could explain the concept of a little brother and liked feeling like a big boy "helping me out with baby" (stuff like can you pass me a muslin!)
DS2 had zero issues being in a sling for probably the first 7 months whilst I took DS1 to the playpark.
They have a really close bond and as much as DS1 will sometimes call DS2 annoying he also refuses to do certain things unless DS2 is able to join in and enjoy (now 6 and 3)

I think there are pro and cons to all age gaps.

It depends on what's important to you as parents really.

And what you can afford - paying 2 lots of nursery fees or university fees at once can be brutal.

I think like you say it's a lot about the children's temperaments. In my circles, the ones with small gaps (in my mind less than 2years), the kids get on better but it was harder on the mum. Mine are almost 3yr apart and fight like cat and dog. My eldest didn't sleep until 2 so it was only then I felt able to consider ttc again.

Also a consideration is that health wise for you, 2yrs is recommended as a minimum gap to allow your body to fully recover.

My mum left 5 years between my sister and I and used to joke that means we both had the greatest chance of becoming a genius. Didn't work out sadly!!

3-4 years is good, still close enough to play together as get older - mine are 5.5 and just turned 9 and play brilliantly.
But they occupy different 'spaces developmentally, so there isn't the same level of competition/comparison.
We struggled to conceive 2nd so started trying at when oldest just turned 2, but took a while to conceive, our are 3 years 9 months apart, but 3 school years, which works great.

Four years between mine. The first was an absolute dream when the second was born. No jealousy at all, and they don’t tend to need the same kind of support at once. Before I had them I would have thought a smaller gap would be preferable but now I think 4 years is perfect.

I'm not sure anyone can answer this unless they have lots of children because if you just have 2/3 children then you don't know any different really.

There are 3 years between my children and it's lovely, they've always had a great bond and play with similar toys.

I wanted 2 years but had unexplained secondary infertility - so the answer is "as long as it takes!". Sadly, sometimes these things are not within our control.

1-2 years so they are close in age and can play together

We've found similar with our just over 3 year 2 month gap. I'm very glad personally that we don't have anything smaller.

There's a lot that's beyond your control. The smallest gap I could safely have was about 3 years due to health issues.

Were you pregnant a month or so after giving birth. I'm in awe that you even had the stamina!