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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To refuse to buy her house and tell her why?

183 replies

StinkyTowels · 16/01/2025 13:59

A few years ago my sister bought a beautiful period property with all original features. Victorian fireplaces, hand crafted bannisters, Victorian carved coving, the head things that pop out of the coving - I adored the house and always said if she sells it, I’ll buy it.

That was of course until she “modernised it”. Stripped out all original features, painted everything white, installed a clinically white and shiny kitchen, lobbed the standalone bath out of the window and replaced it with a spa bath … I kept telling her she was ruining the house but she said I was old fashioned and nobody likes that shit anymore.

The house is historically important, a local famous post lived there, from the outside it looks like a grand Victorian villa. On the inside it look like a London penthouse. It’s awful.

last year she decided to sell it but rather than coming straight to me she tried to sell it for much more than I would have ever paid due to the “improvements” she’d made. LOTS of viewings but no offers - all feedback was exactly the same - put off by interior. Lack of original features etc

So she’s come back to me - I’m now saying I don’t want it either for the same reasons. She’s fuming at me and says I “promised” I would buy it. In its original state I did yes but once she started pulling it apart I very clearly told her I would no longer buy it as she’s wrecked it. She won’t accept this however and is already eying up another house she’d like to ruin/renovate.

AIBU to be glad she can’t sell the bloody thing. It should be illegal to do what she’s done to that belle house

OP posts:
TheSnootiestFox · 16/01/2025 18:58

onwardsupwardsandbeyond · 16/01/2025 18:51

Absolutely, and most of them have zero taste anyway and white, white, white or grey, grey, grey with cold white lights everywhere. Leave the period properties to those who treasure and take more of a custodian approach. Plenty of other properties out there...

Oh God, yes, the grey! Everywhere. Rooms and rooms that are just full of grey 'stuff.' Carpets, paint, panelling, furniture, bath panels, kitchen units, the list is endless. It would be hilarious if it wasn't so tragic!

TheSnootiestFox · 16/01/2025 18:54

Waterweight · 16/01/2025 18:41

Yes everybody who wants modern homes should just bugger off somewhere to build from scratch

Or should every house have a maximum amount of years to be allowed to stand then demolished for the new builds baring those purchased by people who like period features ?

As a person who likes period features, I'm not baring anything, thank you! 😂
I'm not sure what you're mean? There's plenty of new build estates springing up that haven't needed to rewrite history.

onwardsupwardsandbeyond · 16/01/2025 18:51

TheSnootiestFox · 16/01/2025 14:02

YANBU. I honestly have no clue why people with a taste for all things modern buy period houses. They need to bugger off to new builds and leave the coving and fireplaces for the rest of us!

Absolutely, and most of them have zero taste anyway and white, white, white or grey, grey, grey with cold white lights everywhere. Leave the period properties to those who treasure and take more of a custodian approach. Plenty of other properties out there...

YouMustBeTheWeasleys · 16/01/2025 18:51

@MagneticSquirrel you can do a house up without putting features in that aren’t remotely in keeping. Plenty of new shaker style kitchens on the market, and farrow and ball are doing well I believe!

FruminariaBandersnatchiosum · 16/01/2025 18:45

My neighbour has done this. The place should be listed. It is mentioned in the Domesday Book and is really really old but he had removed huge stone fireplaces and all the doors and windows and replaced everything with plastic shit.

It's a crime.

WeeOrcadian · 16/01/2025 18:43

She's just being petulant that she can't sell cos she's fucked it all up

YANBU

Waterweight · 16/01/2025 18:41

TheSnootiestFox · 16/01/2025 14:02

YANBU. I honestly have no clue why people with a taste for all things modern buy period houses. They need to bugger off to new builds and leave the coving and fireplaces for the rest of us!

Yes everybody who wants modern homes should just bugger off somewhere to build from scratch

Or should every house have a maximum amount of years to be allowed to stand then demolished for the new builds baring those purchased by people who like period features ?

TiredCatLady · 16/01/2025 18:26

YANBU and your sister is an idiot.

Given the higher sale price, did she somehow mistake herself for a property developer? Was this viewed as some Grand Designs abomination that she thought she’d make a killing from?

Tahlbias · 16/01/2025 18:25

Why would you want to live in a house that has lost its original features? She can't be cross with you, if she has done that!!

Satancreatedhomesunderthehammer · 16/01/2025 18:25

Watch a couple of episodes of Homes Under The Hammer and see the disrespect people have for original features. That and Kirsty bloody Allsop encouraging people to knock walls down and open plan everything.

This thread is reminding me of a lady called Sheila Hughes who lived in Birmingham in the 70s/80s, when the council were ripping down all the beautiful old Victorian properties in places like Erdington. She went and collected up all the fireplaces and tiles from the skips, many of them beautiful old (and valuable) Minton tiles. They would have otherwise gone to landfill. Her family sold off her collection after she died for a small fortune.

ScholesPanda · 16/01/2025 18:22

YANBU to buy whatever you like.

It's a shame that the period features have been taken out, I wouldn't do that personally.

However, it's all a bit subjective isn't it? People love a bit of coving but they probably wouldn't want to have one toilet that is outside and a back boiler would they?

Growlybear83 · 16/01/2025 18:11

Oops! Yes I did mean 1870s 😆

Calminacrisis · 16/01/2025 18:10

Our next door neighbours stripped their house of cornicing, plaster roses, tiled hallway floor, panelling, original doors, picture rails… everything that had made it a beautiful period house.

It now looks like a dental surgery.

I wish they’d bought a new build. It’s clearly the style they prefer.

NetZeroZealot · 16/01/2025 18:10

Growlybear83 · 16/01/2025 16:19

Oh how I agree with you. I live in a street of large Victorian and Edwardian houses and ours is one of the few houses left thst still has the original layout and most original features. Our neighbours showed us round their house recently after a major extension, and we were horrified by what they, and their predecessors, had done to the house. Almost every original feature has gone, and in common with most houses in the Road, they've got a huge modern extension box on the back, and almost all of downstairs is open plan. It's been done very nicely but it's SO wrong and out of place in a lovely 1970s house. If you want a modern box why not buy a new build rather than destroy A beautiful old house with lots of character?

Do you mean 1870s?

The 1970s wasn't a decade known for its architectural integrity ...

XWKD · 16/01/2025 18:07

I too would be glad she can't sell it. She thinks she's entitled to have you buy the house after she wrecked it. Serves her right.

Waterbaby41 · 16/01/2025 18:03

YAVU to be fair she can't sell it - downright nasty in fact. NU for not wanting to buy it or not liking what she has done - but "glad she can't sell" - VU.

Atlasvue · 16/01/2025 17:58

Get it for a knock down price and put period features back in.

We live in an 1890s Victorian villa. There was a lot of work done in the 1990s that we ripped out. Actually, they tried to be sympathetic but it wasn’t right. We’ve removed the fireplaces and replaced with what would likely have been similar to the original. We’ve replaced the sash and case windows (they had put double glazing in places) Put back in the high skirting boards.Even painted all the iron work outside a very dark green (this is the original colour they would have been painted in this era, not black)

No it’s not the original fittings but it’s fun researching, trying new skills, looking for a bargain. Can be costly however to use skilled tradesmen.

As someone who values the original features of the property, I’m sure you would have the vision to make it shine again. Just get it at a good price!

diddl · 16/01/2025 17:52

SerafinasGoose · 16/01/2025 17:46

I very clearly told her I would no longer buy it as she’s wrecked it. She won’t accept this however.

She doesn't have a lot of choice. She can't force you to buy it!

Well exactly!

How is she going to force you to buy it?

If you could source & replace everything that you wanted to would you be interested?

If not it's a no, not a yes at a much lower price!

SerafinasGoose · 16/01/2025 17:46

I very clearly told her I would no longer buy it as she’s wrecked it. She won’t accept this however.

She doesn't have a lot of choice. She can't force you to buy it!

Longsight2019 · 16/01/2025 17:45

Don’t let her bully you in to it. The interior sounds dreadful and she clearly sees you as a route out of her current abode and in to a new one that she will also ruin.

EveryOtherNameTaken · 16/01/2025 17:44

It's no longer the house you offered to buy due to it not having the original features you were interested.

Like you, others are also disappointed in it's update.

Yanbu.

LittleBigHead · 16/01/2025 17:42

TheSnootiestFox · 16/01/2025 14:02

YANBU. I honestly have no clue why people with a taste for all things modern buy period houses. They need to bugger off to new builds and leave the coving and fireplaces for the rest of us!

100%

Vandalising historic houses is awful behaviour. More money than taste.

DarkDarkNight · 16/01/2025 17:40

Of course YANBU. You ‘promised’ to buy it, but you would have expected her to come straight to you. If she had managed to sell it and make a fortune she wouldn’t have thought twice that you had asked to buy it.

WonderingWanda · 16/01/2025 17:39

It's so depressing when people renovate old houses badly. Why don't they just buy a modern box. I can't believe she is now trying to pretend you promised.....did a conversation involving pinky promises even happen? And also she does know they aren't legally binding doesn't she?

Boooooreddddd · 16/01/2025 17:37

YANBU ,I was brought up in a beautiful grade 2 listed 400year old cottage with beams, inglenook fireplaces , wooden staircases etc . This beautiful cottage has been destroyed by current owners ,it was on rightmove and I genuinely didn’t recognise any of the rooms . The beautiful wooden beams have been painted white . It looks tacky and cheap now 🤦‍♀️

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