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AIBU?

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Gift giving and joke

27 replies

DaisyLou33 · 16/01/2025 11:49

I have CPTSD from very abusive mother. She would never like presents I got her, even when little. And would watch my reactions like a hawk. I hate Christmas and gifts and giving gifts because of it.

I gave my boyfriend his gifts last night and I had just explained how anxious I was about the whole thing and him not liking them. And I felt sick and what she used to do and thats why I get so nervous.

I gave him a jumper and I said I was worried you wouldn't like the colour. He said its a lovely colour, shame it's a horrible top. I said oh no, really. He said I'm joking. You're doing that thing again. Over thinking. But then I was just worried he didn't like it.

I had asked our friend to text him and say what whisky is good if she were buying. So I get an idea what he liked. He said if you like one to taste like antiseptic get x and if you like a classy one, get x. Well they didn't have the classy one, but I got one the same price which was more expensive than the antiseptic.

When I gave it I said I've got the receipt if no good. He said well I do like the other (antiseptic) one but its fine. I'm not going to swap it for a few quid. Thank you. I said I didn't think you did because you said antiseptic and he said I like that. And I said oh sorry, I just went with the more expensive trying to go with the more classy one.

All in all I've come away feeling rubbish. And I don't get the joke after what I had just explained. Am I being too sensitive?

OP posts:
MinnieBalloon · 16/01/2025 12:00

You are being oversensitive and making what should be a lovely experience a stressful miserable one where he has to watch his reactions so you don’t freak out.

festivemouse · 16/01/2025 11:58

This seems to be very much a problem on your side which you do recognise - did he perhaps think he was lightening the mood?

Appreciate you have issues around gifts, but it prior to giving me a birthday gift someone had to explain how anxious they were about my reaction I would 100% be then massively overthinking my reaction and probably need to make a joke about it.

Giving someone a gift, pre explaining how anxious you are and then when they open the gift pointing out things you were worried they wouldn't like / questioning them about the gift probably isn't going to give you the best experience! Best to give the gift without any explanation and see an authentic reaction. Most people don't overly react to gifts, even ones they really like.

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