Kids WhatsApp group

I think it's ironic that people expect children to be able to stand up to peer pressure but they can't as adults - for all the people saying there's 'no choice' but to let them have a smart phone / WhatsApp / social media

Yes I agree with this. My son got dragged into a group in Year 7 (he wasn't allowed a phone until then). He's ND and it upset him. Fortunately he told me. We got rid of WhatsApp. He's now almost 14 and has WhatsApp for a couple of groups, both based around his hobby. They're all ND and it's been a lovely social thing for him too. There have been no further incidences of bullying groups. I am aware it's a massive issue in Year 6 unfortunately. Too young to be having smartphones IMO.

I'd speak to the teacher. Our school takes a very strong line with WhatsApp groups and I am aware they'd rather know. They can be utterly poisonous.

The whole WhatsApp thing got very out of control when ds was in year 6. There was bullying and the school did get involved. They all got phones around the same time, clearly couldn’t handle it!

it calmed down and now DS (y7) voluntarily chooses to just WhatsApp friends in small groups and deletes or doesn’t join the big ones. I’d encourage the same. He also knows that we have a right to see all the WhatsApp’s whenever we want to.

it’s all very well banning it but the truth is your child will likely miss out socially if you do. Ideally there’d be a way of making it impossible for under 16s to join at all, or making “groups” inaccessible. It’s the groups that are the problem not WhatsApp per se.

Dd is 10 so the phone begging has already started. I'm planning to hold out as long as possible (and I hope they ban smartphones in secondary before she starts. When the tine cones I'm planning to get her one of these

https://www.pinwheel.com/en-gb/?srsltid=AfmBOoq1SsZg089CV9NyWgWAD25f0VE4-8BANTkbllQvi9SD45TJn29Q

You can fully block all apps and monitor it remotely, so no need to take the phone off them to check or worry about them secretly downloading apps.

It's not too late to go back on the smartphone thing. Just get him a dumb phone that does calls and texts. Don't track him, it's mental that's become normalised and isn't good for either of your mental health.

Check out smartphone free childhood movement. The point is so many people say we have to get phones so our kids aren't left out - the more of us that say no, we are not sacrificing our kids mental health on the altar of smart phones - the more other parents feel they can do it too.

For me?! Sounds like a great idea tbf 😂

Why oh why for the love of god are people giving kids smartphones that arnt fully locked with parental controls? Once again im baffled by this.
Is it ignorance? No tech no how? Too much trust?
OP- you need to set up controls asap so that your child can’t do anything on that phone without your full say so.
No apps should be able to be downloaded without your permission.
No internet access at all. Take the browser off.
You will either need to delete what’s app or very heavily monitor it.

This.

Parents need to parent. Take control of what these very young children can assess. Children need good boundaries and guidelines to protect them.

This

WhatsApp is age suggested as 16+. Such young children don't need this.

I agree. The 'unmonitored access' children, I feel really sad for, they're like zombies and can't seem to hold a conversation

In our house, phones are left downstairs at night (we have old school alarm clocks!) and we have screen time limits, would that help?

Get rid of WhatsApp, it only gets worse in secondary school.

My DC can access all the secondary school apps for their homework on our home PC and laptop. They happily walk to school without phones, meeting up with friends on the way. There is no 'need' for smartphones, but if you're going to give them to children, please learn how to use them properly first!

When ds1 was that age, rather than having a phone he had a Moochi watch https://moochies.com/

It allows calls and video calling, basic messaging and there's an SOS function which places a call to the emergency contact and records what is happening. It also has a GPS tracking option.

Many of the other kids in his class in year 6 had social media, but he had a hard ban on it until he was 13.

Homework has gone online, but is better done on a laptop than a phone

Re: safety - your kid is more likely to be hit by a car while staring at their phone, or mugged for their phone than kidnapped.

Agree with teling school - it's not about telling them to parent for you, it's about alerting them to bullying.

OK. Spoke to DS after school. Dad put it on the phone for him. I had a late shift last night and he did it then

wait!! Your DH put the WhatsApp on DS phone??? You need to have a serious word with him about what a bloody stupid thing that was to do

So annoying. Having seen how a child close to me, same age as my son, is with his IPhone I am just more and more convinced a lot of them just are not ready for it. Most adults are not, myself included. Cannot count the number of times I have stupidly kept myself up doomscrolling or have told myself am logging on early to get lots of work done and then while away the hours on Mumsnet!

Teacher here too

Absolutely tell the school. Schools and parents need to work together as this shit is endemic.

I would be coming down very hard on my DS if he lied about his age. And your DS has done this - he will have had to confirm he's over 13 to get WhatsApp.

Delete it and use the family security features. Do not involve the teacher.

My DD left the year 6 chat group for this very reason. I was shocked at some of the content.

I do, thank you for checking.

I would much prefer this but unfortunately it's how homework and communication is set at our school. I hate the 'need' for mobile phones nowadays.

So much terrible parenting on this thread. Grown ups who clearly don't know how to use phones themselves giving them to young children. Bonkers.

That's not the point of conversation though, the issues are occurring at home, so the taking it to school is irrelevant