Kids WhatsApp group

And me. But I still felt too immature to handle it.

Phones are a really big deal now and its so so scary.

That's really helpful to know.

I would see this girls behaviour as a huge problem. That isn't even peer pressure that is coercion. She is hounding him to join in the bullying.

I also think we should all be supportive of this mum. She is obviously reaching out for advice and it feels like some comments are making out that she has somehow allowed him to download it. Kids are smart and it is hard staying ahead of them sometimes. The fact OP is concious of this shows she is a consciencious parent.

The parent of the girl perhaps is even less aware of how to put measures in place and it has led to this behaviour from her daughter.

WhatsApp group are the bane of school life!!! Bullying is rife on there, my 2 (13 &16) , have learnt just to have friend groups and they take themselves out of big class groups!! The age rating used to be 16, it’s only just been lowered to 13 I believe…x When youngest was in primary, the police had to get involved- they came into school and had a talk to them all about cyber bullying on WhatsApp!! Just delete the app, then re add later in a few months,

As a teacher I would advise you to inform the school. There are serious issues with online bullying and a lot on whatsapp. There are ways the school can get involved to minimise issues and encourage parents to be more involved in internet safety. You can only help your child but the school can help others.

My eldest was given my old phone once he went to high school, initially he was added to loads of WhatsApp groups.
I keep an eye on the phone and was horrified about the language etc on them, I think I was probably the only parent checking what was happening on the groups.
My son voluntarily removed himself from them and hasn’t looked back. I gave him the phone as I didn’t want him too different to everyone else as he already struggles socially but quite a few of his friends have ‘dumb’ phones or no phones at all.
I have one in his final year of primary, he is one of the only ones not have a smart phone. He has a Nokia with no internet/camera that he can phone me on if he needs to whilst walking to/from school. Knowing now what I do, I won’t be giving him a smartphone when it’s his turn to go to high school, I’m not sure he would be as emotionally resilient as his bigger brother about some of the antics that happen on them, I would never have given the oldest one mine if I had known just how awful the groups etc were.

My ds in y6 got a phone they all had them
There was endless interventions with school across the whole year, WhatsApp was used to bully and exclude, there were letters home, assemblies on smart phone usage, my own sons bully progressed to death threats by phone to extent the school told us to contact police as there was nothing further they could influence.

Many of them will not be mature enough for what phones and WhatsApp brings school will definitely want to know.

The teacher is a teacher not the parent of 30 kids don't be running to her because you didn't put the right amount of effort in to safeguarding your child

We had an issue relating to WhatsApp in year 7 and the school absolutely did want to deal with it.

Please ignore those saying it's nothing to do with school. School will definitely want to know about this. However, all the steps above about putting on parental controls, changing settings to stop him being added to groups and checking his phone should also be done. My kids did have WhatsApp from year 7 but I always checked their phone and they knew they were not to be added to large groups. If your son can't stick to this or 'won't let' you look at his phone then he's not old enough to have it, get him a brick.

There was a recent 2 part documentary on channel 4 by Emma and Matt Willis around smartphone usage in teens called Swiped - the school that banned smartphones. Maybe take a watch? It was truly shocking and it may alter how you allow your child to access a smartphone. There is a wider issue of him already ignoring your request to not have WhatsApp- an app he is not legally old enough to have. What is the next one….? Please watch this documentary.

This happened to a friends kid and the mum contacted WhatsApp and got the other kid removed as she wasn’t old enough. You need to be 16 now so just go direct to the company and get them to sort it.

It only gets worse at secondary school, WhatsApp groups are evil. The condition of having a phone at 11 for mine was they had Family Link installed which had controls on that they could only download apps with permission. We also had to be able to check the phone and monitor what was on there. I have directly contacted another parent about what a child said on a group (she was leaving voice notes saying she would stab another kid!) But never school. I have blocked other kids numbers though !!

Definitely set up parental controls so he cannot download anything without you having approved it from your phone, we have used this for around a year and so far my DD has not found a way around it (unsure if she has tried)

Hi OP, good to see you're on top of it now. Whilst yes the responsibility for your son and his phone sits with you, you were right to tell school as it is a school class issue and they need to be aware.

Have you dared mention anything in the parents' WhatsApp group "soooo what do you all make of this 'name the chat' group our kids are in on WhatsApp?" Kinda thing. Obviously you're taking your life in your hands posting in a parent group 😉 but might bring some much needed parental attention to the issue too.

I have a Y6 child and find the bullying is an issue on WhatsApp, I have allowed it for family and genuine friends and to keep in touch once they go into secondary school but some kids who have seemed okay in the past tend to bully her and group chats tend to get out of hand and lead to drama. I've said she can message family and stay out of group chats if it gets too much.

Tell the school but it is up to parents to police their kids phones.
my last school I worked at sent a stern warning home to parents that they would no longer be unpicking the drama from last night’s WhatsApp groups as it was taking the y6 leader hours to sort out every day when they should have been teaching. Parents were told to sort it out or phones would not be allowed onto school at all.

obviously it was addressed in school via assemblies and other in class work but you find out that y1 kids have the highest spec iPhones and WhatsApp!! I guess it helps with reading and writing!

keep doing your parenting and protecting.

i am not allowed to be added to groups and get an invite instead. There are online challenges to add as many friends as you can to spam groups and get a reward. Obviously you don’t but then spammers have their details and god knows who else.

I’m a year 6 teacher. Tell the teacher. We deal with issues like this regularly. WhatsApp is the worst messaging service for kids because of the group chats. Some kids behave awfully on it. What you describe it quite mild compared to what I have seen in the past from primary aged pupils. I have a 10 year old and an 11 year old and neither are allowed WhatsApp for this reason. Everyone says it’s just a messaging service so it’s harmless compared to other apps, but it’s the group messaging facility that makes it so dangerous.
Staff are used to dealing with this. Take screen shots and email them to school.

I don't understand why people are saying don't tell the teacher. I 100% would ,because bullying online is absolutely rife and it should be talked about in school more. The teacher can have a chat with the whole class and address the situation and explain why these things can lead to bullying,anxiety etc and the ask the kids if they have any concerns etc.

meloncotton

but op is saying the other kids are impacting hers. You can watch your own kids but that doesn’t do anything if they’re all still wondering out loud like they are. Some parents mightn’t even think their kids are in the group/ on WhatsApp etc. she might get a few of them talking to their kids about it or get some troublemakers off the app- the kids with issues aren’t always the ones whose parents don’t care, the parents might just be clueless at the moment

I read the messages on my kids what's app groups at that age. I let them keep it, although some bad things were said on there it was an opportunity to teach them how to use it and respond to others appropriately before they got to an age where they deserved privacy and became more tech savy than me. I did message parents over a couple of messages that were very concerning.

You need to install parental controls.
Family link needs a password to request app download.

Saying that, my dd learnt the hard way. I allowed her WhatsApp to message me, but of course she joined a group. Who wouldn't... too much temptation!

She didn't like it when videos got shared. It's now muted. You can also archive chats. She's much happier now. She knows much more about the implications of sending silly videos etc. It's such a learning curve.

You will never convince all the parents to monitor their children's behaviour on social media. You just have to be a good enough parent to protect your own.

Is there a class WhatsApp as in for parents? Then you could just say hi everyone, just wondering if anyone is seeing what’s going on in the kids WhatsApp? Wondering if we all need to have a little chat with them?

I would also contact the school to make them aware. I did when my daughter was experiencing a similar thing in year 7 and they school appreciated being told.