Ways to address smelly husband or AIBU

Honestly that's even worse then.

OP a bunch of 15 year old boys are better at personal hygiene and not smelling like fucking farm animals than your adult husband. Maybe time to upgrade? (Obviously not to a 15 year old boy).

@Painauraison

"Some" improvement to bad breath and farts may be made if you can get him to eat fairly large quantities of charcoal tablets!

There is no way that he can escape the dentist who can rule out severe decay and - at a cost - carry out a full clean. Dental work is less of a problem these days. I used to be phobic but found a good dentist and grew up to face the "fears"

You say that but most 15 year old boys are well into men’s fragrance these days. My son and his mates smell amazing.

But OP, none of the men I know sound like your husband.

Take up stoßlüften and hang him out on the balcony along with the duvet to air. It will also free up the bathroom for the kids.

Run him a bath at night with a good glug of dettol in it. And a gift basket of toilettriez The more over the top the better. What do the kids say? He sounds gross. I wouldn’t be sharing h a bed with my fella if he’s smelly. 🤢🤢

I think the only constructive advice is to tell him to start (and keep) pulling his weight, thinking of other household members and personal hygiene, or the marriage is over. And mean it.

I couldn't be married to a lazy selfish stinking slob!

He should be but he isn’t so let’s try and offer constructive advice.

You need to stop being gentle and to be blunt.

His hygiene is awful, he stinks, he's lazy and it's completely unattractive.

If he rows with you about it, just keep repeating. There's no middle ground or compromise here, he can't justify it. It's a binary choice. It's disrespectful and by minimizing the problem he's essentially telling you he doesn't give a shit about you or the marriage.
He's given up and it's going to cost him unless he resolves this relatively simple issue.

Good luck.

Op most adults are not having conversations with their adult partner asking them to shower or clean their teeth, Unless said partner has some illness or loss of cognitive function.

My husband works a manual job, he comes home covered in all sorts but 30 seconds after he walks through the door he has a shower and changes into clean clothes.
If your husband smells so bad it will be making your house stink too, what you can smell in your bedroom is what any guest will smell in the rest of the house.

No my husband is not smelly at all, he takes great pride in being overly clean

Get him interdental brushes (easier than flossing and work well) and perhaps a change of toothpaste? And new deo/ antiperspirant.

Maybe stop showering for few days so he can experience what you do.

You have my sympathies! It's not as simple as leaving someone for these reasons. You need to try fixing the issues first.

OP - you sound lovely and deserve so much better 💐 Why are you still with him?

I could not stay married to that. Or share a bed with him. He's disgusting and disrespectful and needs to be told so. If he doesn't care about you and he is bringing nothing good to your life, he could just fuck off.

Christ have some self respect woman and get rid of this smelly dirty cling on!

He sounds gross, rude, unhelpful and stinky. No my DP is not smelly. He is very clean and I'd dump his arse if he behaved like yours.

None of this sounds remotely pleasant for either you or the children.

Not the smell, the rudeness, the lack of respect, the dismissiveness, none of it.

So maybe you need to think about what you and the kids are actually getting out of living together with him and what life would look like if you didn't.

I think you said he avoids them, so whilst it would be an initial shock, he's not adding value here.

For my family, divorce has worked. My ex h spends MORE decent time with his children now. When we were married, although he was in the same house, he didn't actually interact much with them. He has them 2 days a week now and properly focussed on them. Takes them out, good long conversations on walks etc. I honestly don't think he'd be doing that if we were still together. It's easy for him to do that really as he gets 5 days 'off' a week to do his stuff.

But also, your question 'are all husbands smelly and disgusting' or whatever it was. So what if they were? Would that make it alright? If everyone was also living like this? Being single is an option. And, imo and experience, a glorious one.

I've been with my husband all told, for 35 years and have never once smelt him! He showers once a day, cleans his teeth every day... There is no reason on earth for a bloke to stink that badly, apart from laziness!
You say you "feel" he stinks?! He either does or he doesn't! And it sounds like he does!
He has no regard for you at all, not just the personal hygiene. You can do far better than this manchild! Get rid!

Oh grim. Not the norm here, while not vain, my husband has always been very well groomed and has never needed prompting.

How often does he have a shower ? If less than once per day, then he is a pig.

You may be getting the ick?! So up til now you’ve been happy to fuck a man who hauls a dirty, sweaty arse crack around for days and whose dog breath can fill an actual room? Christ on a bike.

To echo everyone else, he has zero respect for himself or for you. It sounds like he works hard but so do most people - it doesn’t mean he gets to skip basic hygiene and expect everyone he shares a space with to just put up with it, the filthy minger.

The only time I knew a man who was smelly it turned out he was homeless.
So no, not the norm at all. It's antisocial and gross. Tell him you won't sleep in bed with him, kiss him or fuck him unless he showers daily and sorts out his smelly breath by seeing a dentist.

To be honest I think the lazy and selfish behaviour is miles more offputting than the poor hygiene, and that's saying something. I can't see him changing his self centred ways either - selfish people don't want to change because they're busy indulging themselves and don't want to stop to consider other people. So it's really down to whether you can put up with it, or should... I wouldn't be able to, not the total lack of respect and consideration to the entire household. It's not just unappealing to live with, but actually intolerable.

I assume he does have nice points but I would struggle see past the shitty selfish behaviours to notice them tbh. I'd be done.

Seems to me like the problem you have with him isn't just because he smells. Its because he is thoughtless selfish and lazy.