To think it isn’t appropriate (nursery)

You're hugging a baby/very young child - child is loving the cuddle... It's automatic and natures to give a little kiss on top of head.

Bloody hell, if I was working at a nursery and showing a baby some love and the mother complained, I'd tell her to stay home with her child, instead of dictating strange non existent rules.

I think it's lovely. It's instinctive I think when you are caring for a small child.

A childminder once kissed my child on the lips. It made me gag and decided at that exact moment to pull her out

A kiss on the temple wouldn't bother me though

Please look up 'key worker' theory.

Under 2s need to feel attachment to a primary care giver. The overwhelming evidence is that that should be a mother (obviously dad's can take the role but the research showed that children had better outcomes when it was a mother who was the primary care giver). In the modern world it's not always possible for mothers not to work and fulfil this role so a child care worker needs to take on this consistent role. I think it's perfectly reasonable for a consistent care giver to develop a caring, affectionate relationship with a baby or toddler which may involve a peck on the forehead or temple.

As a child develops and gets older that sort of thing is phased out but for my baby, I'd be delighted that someone offered my child comfort if I was absent.

These comments are wild!

As PP have said children need love and affection. This comes from parents and loved ones. Nursery staff can give affection by appropriate touch that doesn’t include kissing, hugging as an example.

As another PP has mentioned there is a level of professionalism that should be maintained and you wouldn’t expect your boss to kiss you on your forehead.
Would you allow your child’s primary teacher or secondary teacher to kiss them on the forehead?

There are boundaries that shouldn’t be crossed when working in this role.
Staff care for your children very much but I would definitely see this as a safeguarding concern.

I have been close to all of my children’s key workers and still speak to some 10 years later. They would cuddle my children all the time but never kiss.

I have been working in education for almost 20 years in a variety of different roles and if this was raised there could be serous consequences. However innocent it is, which I am sure this is, but there are boundaries that need to be maintained and this is definitely crossing the line.

Are cuddles at nursery OK? That's also touch through the guise of affection.

This!

I don't think childcare workers should kiss children, but as long as it's on the forehead it's fine. DS was kissed on the forehead by mistake once when being looked after for an injury, "she said whoops" he reported back, but he loved it.

I remember a hundred years ago in nursery when we were all supposed be sitting there quietly but Anne came in with lick-on tattoos from a Crackerjack box underneath her sweater and wouldn’t show me and I got in trouble for talking and Anne didn’t and I had to sit by the teacher.
And when the teacher let everyone go play she hugged and kissed me and that was the best.

Yeah I don't kiss other peoples babies in case I make them ill

Who said affection can't be shown without a physical dimension? Affection can be shown in a variety of ways not only physical touch. I have met many teachers who are extremely kind and affectionate with the children they look after without kissing them directly. That is just innapropiate to me because I know I provide all of the care my child needs at home, perhaps mothers who know they lack in that department are all too happy to allow strangers to fill in for them.

Changing a nappy is an inevitable part of a professional childcare setting and not changing the childrens nappies equates to neglectful abuse and the shutting down of that nursery, kissing and hugging children is simply not apart of that curriculum and will not leave childcare institutions destitute if they choose to maintain professional conduct with children in terms of professionally refraining from any physical affirmations of “affection”.

Also, if mothers feel so strongly about their child being shown love by being kissed by strangers, perhaps they should find the time in their day to ensure their child is not going hours without a kiss from a stranger and dedicate their lives to showing the child they brought into this world some love and affection through physical affirmations of love.

I don't think it's inappropriate but it's your child and you're completely ok to tell them to stop if you want to

Oh for goodness sake ........

Do you really expect a baby or very young child to go without being shown affection for hours?
I wouldn't expect my boss to kiss me, but neither would I expect them to help me put my coat on or do my laces up. Or feed me. Or any of the things that a baby or young child would need someone to do for them. My boss isn't my care giver.
I find it strange that people are happy to have someone change their baby's nappy, but not for that person to show their baby any affection.

My daughter is 2, doesn’t go to nursery m. However she has had the same swimming teacher once a week since she was 6 weeks old and loves giving her a kiss and a cuddle. She only sees her for half an hour in a group setting and has become close to her. I think it is wonderful.

So being with someone I’m assuming most days and bonding seems perfectly natural.

A 17 month old is just a baby. They need affection so yes, I'd be OK with a kiss on the head. Far better than the alternative of cold, detached interaction all day. I would have thought that if you need to be separated from your baby then you'd actively hope that they're made a fuss of by their caregivers.

Professionalism is expected across all workforces and the childcare industry comes at the top of the list for maintaining boundaries essential to professionalism.

Imagine your boss kissed you on the temple at work because you performed well that day?

Ridiculously innapropiate, so why on earth would it be appropriate for my precious child? Leave that side of parenting to the parents, it is NOT a childcarers job to be affectionate to other peoples children and I'm deeply concerned by all of the mothers on this thread who are more than happy to have their children kissed by a virtual unvetted stranger.

What kinds of standards are you setting for your poor children?

No need. What if they have a cold sore?

What if it's a male carer and it's your 3 yo daughter?

There is zero need for kisses. I even teach my son only mummy and daddy should kiss him and no one else (grandparents are not present).

Agreed. I'd rather have them be affectionate then cold. On the temple is fine.

YABU

While some may see it as an act of kindness or affection, it is ultimately inappropriate in a childcare setting with a child that is not yours and should be avoided by all childcare practitioners which I should hope was extensively mentioned in their training, if they had any.

I get your concern OP. I would not feel comfortable with another individual to kiss my child even if it did come from a good place I just would personally prefer it if they did not do that.

I think it's nice, it's important for children to be loved and cared for and it hopefully shows a genuine bond with their caregiver.

It's exactly what I'd hope they do whilst caring for my children.