To think it isn’t appropriate (nursery)

I think this is a really low blow, and I think that was intended. You won't get under my skin, I have no guilt about my DC going to nursery and I don't feel the need to justify it, but you could well upset someone else by saying that to them (or indeed by them reading you saying it to me). Different choices for different families are fine, there's no need to undercut others' choices to justify your own. I don't think it reflects well on you at all to speak so meanly about someone else's parenting.

Btw nursery staff aren't teachers (and that alone shows you don't understand nursery, and why should you if you've never used one but maybe be aware of that). And they certainly aren't raising my DC. They are doing a difficult and skillful job with a smile and affection for utterly shit pay that in no way reflects their expertise or importance.

Oh and my DC have loads of affection from me and their dad seven days a week. But affection isn't a limited commodity.

it is NOT a childcarers job to be affectionate to other peoples children

It really, really is!

YABU

Wow you're being judgemental. Some mothers (myself included) return to work after their maternity leave- my (second) baby has been in nursery since he was 8 months old. I'd have loved longer off with him, but I'm also the breadwinner so we as a family needed me to return to work.
It doesn't mean I love my children any less than you do yours (which is your implication).
Families who rely on childcare need their children to feel safe and cared for while in that setting. Every setting is different, every family is different, what works for one won't work for another.
But how dare you imply that children who go to nursery are starved of affection at home, or 'see the nursery workers more than their parents'. You're gross.

Standards?! Babies don’t need bloody professionalism! They need love and care! These poor things are launched into childcare as BABIES (needs must), the least we can give them is strong bonds with other caregivers. They area robots, they are babies

That’s interesting - do you have a link to articles or research showing children have better outcomes with the mother as primary caregiver?

I would be really happy that my child was being shown affection by her caregivers at nursery.

I won't send my children to a childcare setting until their old enough to explain their day perfectly to me which is when children are legally required to attend educational systems with caregivers.

I understand this is a privilege and most mothers do not have this privilege which is why I reiterate each to their own.

if you do have dc and send them to nursery then how do you know they’re not physically touched?
Also if you’re so terrified that a nursery worker may show physical affection towards your dc then perhaps it’s not an appropriate setting for them.
The nursery workers are not strangers, they care for the dc more than most gps.

Prime example….

A 10 month old baby and put in a nursery five days a week, of course you will be glad if a teacher kisses your child because you are not there to do it most days. They are being raised by those teachers essentially but perhaps your view would be starkly different if you spent seven days a week confidently showering your child with affection. 💐

I would have said it's not ok... BUT one of my kids had such a close relationship with a nursery teacher that the teacher would do this. She absolutely adored my kid and couldn't wait to see her, kiss her, cuddle. The joy was real on both sides!
She treated her like a family member and literally cried her eyes out when she left for school. Offered to babysit, still in contact now many years later.
It was a wonderful relationship and it made everyone very happy.

I would be very glad of it.

I genuinely can't remember if anyone ever kissed our babies, but they were at nursery from 10 months five days a week and the staff were most definitely not strangers. Especially in the baby room with the low ratios. One of the very first people to look after DC1 was room lead by the time DC2 was there and still is. She still does the odd bit of babysitting for us 6 years later.

I don't think you can view the relationship with nursery staff in purely professional terms. Our DC are there as a home substitute and they need that personal relationship.

Not completely appropriate but having worked in childcare for a long time at one point you do get very attached to the children and them to you.
You are working long hours and you see them a few days of the week. You do naturally feel affection towards them.

I wouldn’t have kissed a child I was working with because it isn’t professional (lots of hugs though!) but don’t find it weird that someone did. I would say unless there is more context be careful of what you do as this staff member clearly is affectionate to your child and that’s not a bad thing if your child is comfortable with it as you could then very uncomfortable.

I kissed a child on the head once (school nursery age so 3) they’d come in for a cuddle when tired and I’d absentmindedly kissed them on top of the head, my own dc were a similar age at the time so I suppose autopilot had kicked in my brain.
Its never happened any other time in my 15+ years of working in schools though and I wouldn’t be upset if it had happened to one of of my own dc, same with cuddles (as long as they’re initiated by the child)

At 17 months I’m guessing they’re in a private nursery so a small group spend all day with the same few members of staff, it’s lovely that they have a good bond

YANBU. Our nursery actually has this covered in a policy.

Kissing is considerably more intimate than a cuddle.

Lips is entirely different because of the herpes risk, and because of potential for confusion around abuse boundaries. I'd be angry with anyone even in the family kissing lips.

Each to their own. It seems like its the mothers whose kids see their teachers more than their parents who have a problem with me saying I wouldn't allow a caregiver to kiss my child.

My child is given all the affection they need at home therefore don't yearn for it from caregivers. Furthermore, I personally wouldn't put a 17 month old baby in childcare but again, each to their own.

Depending on the teacher, circumstances etc. Cuddles and a handhold can be an acceptable form of reassurance from teachers IF the child permits it, however another adult kissing my child would be a no from me personally.

But again, Each. To. Their. Own.

Imagine your boss kissed you on the temple at work because you performed well that day

Comparing the relationship between a baby and a nursery worker to that of a boss and employee is just silly.

it is NOT a childcarers job to be affectionate to other peoples children

What? Not at all? No hugs? No hugs for an upset toddler?

a virtual unvetted stranger.

They aren't strangers, nor are they unvetted. The staff that look after my DD2 3 days a week know her well, and I've known them for 5 years because they also looked after DD1 when she was there.

I'm actually borderline on the kissing - I've never seen the staff at DD's nursery do it, and I think I'd maybe think it was unusual. But these comments here about strangers and affection not being part of the job are ridiculous.

We are in France and I think there’s more kissing at our nursery than in our house 😂😂😂

Wouldn’t bother me. I’d be happy they cared and were affectionate. Do we expect nursery staff to be robots and display no affection?

Have you actually got any kids? Cos the hugging/affection is rife these days - it was one of the things that surprised me when my own DS went to nursery and then primary.

Has other ops have said affection is all part of kids developing these days. I’ve never seen any kissing personally but I couldn’t get bent out of shape about it.

I can't bear the thought of a very young child needing comfort and not being given it. Absolutely nothing inappropriate about a forehead kiss, it's sad that some think otherwise.

This is such a sad, sick post.

Children under 2 need to feel.bonded with their caregivers in a way that older children do not with teachers. And the further comparison with an adult and their boss is just wildly irrelevant!

My babies have been in childcare 5 days a week since they were 8 months. I'd find it rather sad if no one showed them affection in that time, although I've never thought about kissing. I wouldn't be at all cross if they kissed my child on the temple, but I can also understand if the rules are that you don't kiss a child.