Pregnant again but already have 9 month old twins - Is it possible to manage 3 under 18 months?!

It's never unreasonable to have an abortion.

I had twins when my son was 16 months. They are now 2 & almost 9 months.

It isn't easy but we've managed, there's no way I'd largely be able to do it alone.

What a tricky situation.

A family friend had triplets through IVF and was assured she’d never conceive naturally. Sure enough when the triplets were 10 months old she did - and had 4 kids under 2.
She would always tell me it put a huge strain on her marriage and she looked exhausted for about a decade (understandably). They are lovely kids though - adults now - and they’re all quite close. Really tough decision OP.

With a cleaner and a nanny, I think it is definitely doable.

The deed isn't done. It's a perfectly valid, moral decision to have an abortion. Just as it would be not to have one.

I have just over a 2 year gap between my twins and singleton. You absolutely can do this if you want to but equally its ok to prioritise the family you already have and terminate the pregnancy.

The advantage of having them with a short gap is that you get through the baby stage all in one go. Three is certainly more work than two, but people manage. Can the twins go to nursery when the baby is born, to give you a little more breathing space? Could you afford a cleaner for the first couple of years until they’re all at nursery or even school?

My granny had 2 under 1 - absolutely unbelievable but she managed it!

Surely if you've already got 2 tiny ones, another won't make much difference? And if you've both got good careers you can afford childcare or a nanny? What about help from family? And the babies won't stay babies forever, they'll soon be beyond that baby stage. I think you've got to bite the bullet. The deed is done. And insist he gets the snip now! 😀

That's a perfectly valid reason to terminate but, as you feel conflicted, maybe take some time time think through the practicalities of 3 under 18 months, esp wrt what support you will have (or can buy). I can imagine the first year or two would be brutal but that's not the same as impossible. Think through the financial implications also.

YANBU to have an abortion for any reason.

But whatever you decide to do, you two need an adult conversation about whether he wants to get the snip or not.

No hinting, just actual talking.

I have twins too and I read you have a 1 in 12 chance of having twins again once you've had them. I follow someone on IG who had one set on twins at 41 then another set at 42 all girls

It’s not just their ages now it’s the future you need to consider too…..3 children living at home, cost of childcare, size of car for 3 car seats, family holidays (often geared to 4 not 5), cost of extra curricular activities, thinking ahead to uni fees etc etc

I think after you have had the baby, or the termination if that is what is best for you, then stop with the hints and tell him you'd like him to get a vasectomy. Is he willing and if not then you give your response.

I had surprise twins who arrived 3 months early when ds1 was 9 months.

They're all in their 30s now but oh my god it was so hard. No judgement from me

No help here but as you've already had multiples, do you have a higher chance of another twin pregnancy?