Pregnant again but already have 9 month old twins - Is it possible to manage 3 under 18 months?!

Indeed they are! We had a nanny for our twins 2.5 days a week which cost £1850 a month. You’d easily be paying upwards of £40k a year for a full time nanny!

s-if yu continue pregnancy not return t work just yet...a nany wuld be amazing even three days
what dh say? wsnt tht long go mmmies had fur or five not yet schol ge-far tougher times...but this is now.multiples been suggested would that alter continuing?

If you have the money and you are really worried, you could get her 5 days (and keep her during your mat leave) until the twins go to pre-school. Would give you a bit more breathing space.

Live in nannies are often cheaper, so you mind find it viable.

But even without them living in I think I'd go for it personally. But that would in no small part be driven by fear of regret.

I have twins and personally could not risk another pregnancy due to the much higher chance of having twins again. Not that I even want three, let alone four.

You’d not be unreasonable to terminate. Though you seem to be more concerned about the small baby stage, rather than flat out just not wanting more children (like me!). That stage is short lived all in all.

I would base your decision on the long game and also ensure you are prepared to have another set of twins or cope with a disability or SEN, emotionally and logistically, before proceeding.

There will be some rocky moments in the short term, but in the medium term absolutely doable.
Friend of mine had a similar situation, and basically the baby was just strapped to her front in one of those wrap baby carriers for the first 9 months whilst she ran after her twins.... but then the baby sort of caught up with the others and it was almost as if she had triplets. She actually said it made some things easier, as they were all interested in the same things at the same time, had similar sleeping / eating routines, she would read the same stories to all of them, etc. So not having to cater for lots of different things the way you would with a 2 year old and a 6 year old for instance.
I think if you have a nanny it's definitely doable. And I think when your twins grow up a bit and you have more time on your hands you may regret not keeping the baby.

With a live in nanny and cleaner it sounds totally doable to me. But it's how you feel that matters.

AIBU to have an abortion purely because I don't think we/I can mange 3 kids under 18months?

The only reason you need to have an abortion, IMO, is “I don’t want to have a baby”. That is all. Even if you can manage, if it’s not what you want, you don’t have to do it.

My friend had ivf twins born at 31 weeks, and then had a singleton 10 months later. 3 kids in a year 😱
she survived, is still married, had help from family and the kids are all 25 now. I appreciate not everyone has support though.
no judgement from me but good luck with whatever you decide

Definitely consider the fact that this may not be a single pregnancy. A guy I used to work with had a daughter, and they decided to try for another fairly soon after and had twin girls, then almost immediately after they were born, they had an unplanned pregnancy that turned out to be another set of twin girls, meaning they had 5 under 5 and he used to come to work and just sit and cry at his desk for about 10 minutes most mornings

Sorry haven't read full thread but just popping on to say that I had same as you. It was a crazy time but a delightful one and now I have three teens who are fab. I had zero help but was a sahm.
Whilst they're all in nappies it's a bit intense and my twins walked really late so I was quite pregnant with no3 and they wanted carrying. It did mean I had two c sections as the consultant didn't want risk vbac that close together.

What I currently have!! How did your granny manage it does she have any tips for me lol!

I had three under one. Single then twins.
It was very hard, but also a time I look back on with fond memories and pride that we managed it. I was lucky that I had a lot of help in the first year.
Things that made it do-able for me were

• my husband had paternity leave the first month
• then my mum came and lived with us for two months
• then my mother in law for a month
• Then we found a fantastic 20 year old who came in 4 days a week to help me 9-5 for the rest of the first year. She helped with kids, cooking and laundry.
• we prioritised paying for help in the first year over holidays in the first 2 years.
• we got a people carrier so we had a bit more space ( three car seats across the back of a regular car is a nightmare.

I know someone who had the same situation, she did struggle with toddler twins while heavily pregnant and got very sick of all the comments like, "You've got your hands full!" .
It worked out though and she seems very happy with her three.

I think you need to also think this could be another twin pregnancy.

Iv seen a friend go through similar with unplanned two sets of twin close in age and sadly the marriage didn't survive.

This a only a choice you and dh can make.

A friend of mine had 2 sets of twins 20 months apart. The first set were IVF babies as she was told she couldn't conceive naturally. The second set were a huge surprise 😂.
It was very hard but she managed with help from a cleaner and a nanny. She took a year sabbatical from work after her mat leave with the second set and would generally either take one set of twins or a big twin and a little twin out for the day, leaving the other two with the nanny and then swapping around the next day.
The kids are 14-16 years now and super close.

It will be hard, and you can do it (if you want to.)

Can you afford it?
Do you have enough space? (Sounds like yes if you’re moving house)
Is your employment stable?
Is your health good?

Yes, you can manage 3. Using childcare will help.

But ultimately if you don’t want more and your family is complete that’s another matter.

Well it's his choice only whether he has a vasectomy but yes, you both need a conversation.

Good luck with whatever you decide to do