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Original poster

What do you practically do if your adult child wants to live at home but cannot find a job

180 replies

AsmallabodeIsallweWant · 15/01/2025 20:33

This really; let's say you have an adult daughter who is mentally capable and is going into her 20s but does not know how to find a job. Let's say you don't mind her living with you, but does she need to apply for a benefit or ?

It is a question really.

OP posts:
Mrsttcno1 · 15/01/2025 20:52

As a parent you teach them how to keep a job.

Or you have them sign on for UC and let them learn that way that they have to attend work meetings, apply for things, or their benefits will be cut. And no job means no money.

MyOtherCarisAVauxhallZafira · 15/01/2025 20:51

She needs to sign up for universal credit, attend any jobseeking courses/support they offer, sign up with temp agencies etc. I would want to see her actively trying and also pulling her weight around the house. I would've been subbing a 20 year old who wanted to lie in bed until noon click on Indeed and tell you there are no jobs

StrawHatLuffy · 15/01/2025 20:51

Jobs aren't as easy to find these days as some people think.
It's not like it was 20+ years ago, or even 10 years ago.
Every position has many many applicants, especially retail or part time positions.

If she was looking and trying, I'd help as much as I could.

But... There is absolutely no way in this world that I'd kick my kid out into the street, not in this life time..
The chance of getting involved in drugs, alcohol, prostitution etc is too high.

In the short term, Universal Credit claim and help with CVs and such.

LifedestroyerifYOUletthem · 15/01/2025 20:51

Well I think it depends on your circumstances and and tolerance and money.

If you have a large enough house, money and u get on well.. Does it matter.
Can you help her with buying in help therapy, etc to get to the bottom of it. Can she temp?

If your in a cramped flat and she's being abusive and you have no money then k wouldn't say abandon her at all but it's going to be much harder.

Original poster
AsmallabodeIsallweWant · 15/01/2025 20:50

HenDoNot · 15/01/2025 20:49

If I had a child in their 20's who was mentally capable but literally "does not know how to find a job" I'd probably feel like I'd gone wrong somewhere as a parent.

I really don't understand how anyone "does not know how to find a job".

Does she think she just has to sit at home and her phone will ring one day and it'll be someone offering her a job?

I haven't worded it properly. Not knowing how to keep job

OP posts:
Soccermumamir · 15/01/2025 20:50

They definitely need to do something. I would get them to claim UC and support them with job searches ir apprenticeships

HenDoNot · 15/01/2025 20:49

If I had a child in their 20's who was mentally capable but literally "does not know how to find a job" I'd probably feel like I'd gone wrong somewhere as a parent.

I really don't understand how anyone "does not know how to find a job".

Does she think she just has to sit at home and her phone will ring one day and it'll be someone offering her a job?

Lyn348 · 15/01/2025 20:49

I would be offering lots of ideas and support to help her work out her next move. Lots of research to give her lots of different possible options. Advice to apply for loads of different things as there are always likely to lots of rejections. I really struggled as this age as I was an adult and so was left to figure it all out myself. In contrast i have really supported DS and as a result he has been much more successful.

Someonelookedatmypostinghistorysoichanged · 15/01/2025 20:49

She doesn’t need to apply for uc she needs to work! At 20 she would have been shown how to do this at school, college, by a respectable adult in her life surely.

Original poster
AsmallabodeIsallweWant · 15/01/2025 20:49

Whatzzitz · 15/01/2025 20:48

Either college, work, apprenticeship, voluntary work in an areas she’s interested in or benefits. Or a combination of these.

Thank you

OP posts:
Whatzzitz · 15/01/2025 20:48

Either college, work, apprenticeship, voluntary work in an areas she’s interested in or benefits. Or a combination of these.

Original poster
AsmallabodeIsallweWant · 15/01/2025 20:48

fashionqueen0123 · 15/01/2025 20:47

Do you have this situation or you’re just making it up?

No, I'm asking on behalf of someone who isn't very rich but loves the child being home. Turbulence in keeping a job.

OP posts:
fashionqueen0123 · 15/01/2025 20:47

Do you have this situation or you’re just making it up?

12purplepencils · 15/01/2025 20:46

ExtraOnions · 15/01/2025 20:43

Mine doesn’t .. she’s 18, and will be 19 this year. Looking for an apprenticeship / job. She does have a few hours on a zero hours contract, and I pick up thr cost if anything else.

She won’t be applying for UC .. I don’t want some DWP worker pressuring her.

Not sure this is doing her any favours
if you have to take this approach I’d definitely make it time limited

Original poster
AsmallabodeIsallweWant · 15/01/2025 20:46

Agix · 15/01/2025 20:45

The reason she doesnt know how to find a job matters, even with a hypothetical.

Learning difficulties? Mental Illness?

Or no one has shown her how to use indeed?

Cant answer personally without knowing WHY she doesnt know how to find a job. It changes everything.

Just let's say there is turbulence with keeping jobs

OP posts:
ItsFreedomBabyYeah · 15/01/2025 20:46

Sorry but why/how doesn't she know how to apply for a job?

Agix · 15/01/2025 20:45

The reason she doesnt know how to find a job matters, even with a hypothetical.

Learning difficulties? Mental Illness?

Or no one has shown her how to use indeed?

Cant answer personally without knowing WHY she doesnt know how to find a job. It changes everything.

Original poster
AsmallabodeIsallweWant · 15/01/2025 20:44

ExtraOnions · 15/01/2025 20:43

Mine doesn’t .. she’s 18, and will be 19 this year. Looking for an apprenticeship / job. She does have a few hours on a zero hours contract, and I pick up thr cost if anything else.

She won’t be applying for UC .. I don’t want some DWP worker pressuring her.

This means you cover her needs...yes?

OP posts:
JoanCollinsDiva · 15/01/2025 20:44

Obviously ideally she needs a job, but if that isn't going to happen then yes apply for UC. I would be taking a lot of it off her though bc you want to incentivise her to look for work.

Or maybe you don't, I don't know.

ExtraOnions · 15/01/2025 20:43

Mine doesn’t .. she’s 18, and will be 19 this year. Looking for an apprenticeship / job. She does have a few hours on a zero hours contract, and I pick up thr cost if anything else.

She won’t be applying for UC .. I don’t want some DWP worker pressuring her.

LittleRedRidingHoody · 15/01/2025 20:43

She needs to find a job - she can claim UC but she'll need to attend regular appointments and spend 35h a week job searching.

You need to help her build some resilience if she doesn't know where to start - it can be soul destroying to get rejection after rejection and chances are she'll need to send 100s of applications out. Gone are the days of walking into a job with no experience!

Original poster
AsmallabodeIsallweWant · 15/01/2025 20:43

Branleuse · 15/01/2025 20:42

They need to be doing something. Either working or at college.

Id be supporting her to get a job. Any job.

Thank you

OP posts:
Branleuse · 15/01/2025 20:42

They need to be doing something. Either working or at college.

Id be supporting her to get a job. Any job.

Original poster
AsmallabodeIsallweWant · 15/01/2025 20:41

Goldengirl123 · 15/01/2025 20:38

Why can’t she get a job?

It's a hypothetical question for now, what is the best practical decision for you as a mother if you don't mind the grown child living with you , the reason could be anything ...

OP posts:
CharlotteCChapel · 15/01/2025 20:41

Yes, if they live at home she claims UC and gives you rent.