Altercation over a changing cubicle

My local leisure centre has plenty of cubicles, but even more swimmers, so it's every man for himself when you get to the changing rooms. Lots of signs up saying you cannot reserve a cubicle, and yet so many parents hold a cubicle, either by standing in the doorway, or leave clothing in there whilst their LO showers. One time I pointed out the signs to a parent, she very begrudgingly let me use the cubicle she was standing in. Another time, a scooter was left in a cubicle
That ended up outside in the communal area while another parent used the cubicle.
OP, YWNBU

It takes about as long to dry/dress as it does to shower, so that uses the cubicle twice as long as necessary. There is no reason why it's ok to make others wait for a shared resource that you aren't even using.

I don't use family or accessible rooms. Single cubicles. I agree that reserving the family cubicles would be selfish as there aren't many of these.

The only way I'd be sympathetic to her is if she had unloaded her locker into the cubicle and headed back to the shower with shampoo, if she had left it the whole lesson/session she's the unreasonable one

I agree it’s not selfish if you are picking the cubical at the very back that people don’t tend to use as it’s not as nice as the other ones.

However it’s completely selfish if you are getting one of the better, more accessible, at the front cubicles that have higher footfall.

I have two - including one with SEN and I don’t do this. It’s important for them to learn to think of others. There aren’t enough family rooms at our pool but reserving would make the issue ten times worse.

No, there are plenty of rooms even at the peak of swimming lessons. I'm organised because I have 2 and one with SEN, and need to get them in the cubicle and change as quickly as humanly possible. This is for the benefit of everyone. These aren't family rooms but single cubicles of which there is an abundance.

If you are putting your stuff in the cubicle BEFORE your kids are out of the pool / shower, there obviously will be plenty of changing rooms at that point…it’s when the hoards vacate the showers that changing space becomes sparse! You clearly realise this though - hence your desire to “be organised” and stake a claim to your own cubicle - just in case there aren’t any left by the time your kids are showered 🤔

It is selfish. Just out of principle.

It's not selfish if there are plenty of changing rooms.

My son has autism and I don't do this. It is selfish. You are stopping another child getting changed while you shower them- selfish to the max.

I didn't know this reserving cubicles was a thing. I'd probably have taken their stuff to lost property if they'd not been waiting outside.

I'd purposely do that now just for them being cf and entitled.

At our pool, there are single cubicals available but limited double ones. I always needed a double one as my boys needed me in there too. If someone left their stuff in to reserve it, then I would remove it and use the cubical. You can't reserve a cubical.

YWNBU. It used to drive me mad when people did this. Putting your stuff in a cubicle and then walking away does not mean you've reserved it. You had every right to use the cubicle, but should probably have dumped her stuff outside first.

Omg! They do this at my sons swimming sessions. I went in and got both my sons changed (20 mins) and they hadn't even returned! It's infuriating!

@AngeloMysterioso that is what we would have done. Items would have been in locker. Pick up items from locker, meet child at showers, drape towel round them, then find empty cubicle, get dressed etc. Not difficult to do. Or meet kid at showers, find cubicle, then empty locker. Hogging cubicles is not fair. She was out of order for the swearing etc, there was no need for that. You made a genuine mistake and then got your son ready quickly. She could easily have tapped on the door and said excuse me ky kids clothes are in there.

Here is an assertive script for this sort of thing: 'I can hear how angry and upset you are because you were inconvenienced. I'm offended and angry by your shouting and swearing. In future, you could avoid this if you didn't try to reserve a cubicle, but used a locker instead, as we are supposed to be. Good afternoon.

So you have recognised her emotions. You have told her about yours. You have politely suggested a remedy. Then you leave the situation. Job done!

She was. I'd report her to the staff for her threatening behaviour. It's a huge no no here at swimming but you still get some selfish idiots who do it.

YANBU. She probably reserves sun loungers at hotel pools too 😂

people should not leave unattended clothing in cubicles. Entitlement at its worst. The female showed her true character by repeatedly swearing in front of children.

Should have nutted her

I have this issue on a weekly basis and it drives me MAD! People dump their stuff in the family changing rooms even though there’s signs everywhere saying don’t so I just take my kids in then have people hammering on the door shouting abuse which is horrid but my kids are standing shivering and I have 3 small kids so we physically don’t fit into the individual cubicles. We have often also waited for the family cubicles to come free and then I get so annoyed when someone comes out with just 1 child as they could easily fit in the normal cubicles either them.

You should have popped your head out immediately and waited to see who came back for the stuff. That would have been the decent thing to do. You were unreasonable I’m afraid - but you weren’t in ‘the wrong’ as such. There’s no written rule saying you have to he considerate. Other mum shouldn’t have demanded an apology. One would have been nice tho.

You are right, I don’t know your circumstances. I don’t know whether you are planning to be back in 5 mins when you’ve collected your child, 10-15 mins when you’ve collected your child and taken them for a shower, or more than 30 mins when you’ve dropped your kid off for their lesson, waited for the lesson to be over, taken them for a shower, and then finally wandered back over to your “reserved” cubicle (and yes I have seen people do this, because I have followed them out of the changing area and up to the viewing area, and seen them still sitting up there when I go back down to pick up my child).

Why the fuck should I and other parents stand outside 6 completely empty cubicles for 45 mins with shivering cold wet children, while the “reservers” have wandered off to the cafe with no plans to return any time soon?

You can't reserve cubicles

Dump their stuff on a bench, that's what I do