I don’t want ex partner around my kids

You should be blaming him, then, not her.

she sits there calling me narcissist

Sorry but you do sound like a narcissist... this is all about what you want and what you need and how you're affected by him putting what reads as very healthy boundaries in place

hang on did i miss something? the OP sent her children to her ex's when they had chickenpos and ex's partner was pregnant? all under the guise of 'thats whats called being a dad'

what kind of nasty vile person does that? thats horrific

I can only understand about 20% of what you are writing, but that 20% definitely makes you sound more unreasonable than her.

You need to get over the fact that she is in your kids lives.
If you were at this "graduation" why didn't you step up.
As for sending kids with chicken pox to a pregnant woman that actually is vile.
He's not responsible for taking you on days out because you don't drive. You have a new partner, he can take you.

she is no stepmum she won’t even look after them when I need her to why get with someone who has kids if you won’t take them on?

It’s not her job to be a babysitter.

my ex saying if their baby died it would be my fault because I wouldn’t keep the kids on his weekend when they had chicken pox it’s called being a dad

Chicken pox is dangerous for pregnant women, which you know. You wouldn’t have your kids in an emergency but expect her to babysit yours?

I said to her was she can’t step up if she’s so called stepmum

She’s a step-mum, not your nanny.

have moved on and have my own partner and our daughter now to I am just not happy with how she thinks she can talk to me .

If you have your own partner and daughter, why do you want to go away for a week with your ex and the kids?

So you want her to step up and mind your kids for you to give you a break but you always want her nowhere near your kids? Are you ok?

It sounds like you are an absolute nightmare and she is not afraid to put boundaries in place and speak back to you and you just don't like that do you?

Also, go away with your own partner or are you expecting your ex to take you all away for the weekend? Crazy

oh my god! a nursery graduation? are you kidding me?

she absolutely does not have to 'step up'. what a load of rubbish that is, she's your ex's partner! she owe's you nothing! if that's the case, why is your partner not 'stepping up?', why is he not taking care of your kids when you can't?

to be honest, they sound like caring people. they suggest your children stay with you when the baby is ill sounds sensible, and why do you send your children too their dads when they are ill?

i think i can understand why she has an issue with you to be honest. so far you have not raised anything that has made me think 'oh yeah thats not right'.

I need the help I m the one doing all the school meetings for my son not him and not her so she can watch them when he cant don’t think that’s wrong of me to ask if her

That sounds like you DO want her around your kids though?
You don't have to like the woman, but for the sake of all the children involved, you and your ex need to co parent properly. And that sometimes involves sucking stuff up.

I'm sorry OP, but you sound like a nightmare. You are no longer with your ex but you expect him to be runninga round after you, going on holiday, taking you for days out - in her shoes I would also have come down on that. And it was massively irresponsible of you to expect him to take the children when they had chickenpox and there is a baby in the house.

You sound rather nasty and overly jealous. You need to move on. From your own words, you come across as controlling, self-centred and unreasonable.

Well if your son kept running off at his graduation why didn’t you go and get him and make him stand at the front?

Why is it your ex's partners responsibility to look after your kids anymore than your own partner? If your ex needed someone to look after your kids when it's his time with them would he automatically assume your partner should take them on? Most likely not even though he's the dad of his children's half sibling.

So you don’t want her to be part of his life but at the same time you expect her to be your on call childcare? Do you not see how daft that sounds.

nothing you have posted suggest anything she has done wrong. It just screams of you being jealous.

He is your ex and he has set up boundaries. This is quite normal and probably would have happened regardless of who he got into a relationship with.

They are his children too. You cannot dictate where he sees his children or who they meet with him.

She is not stopping you on going on days out etc. You can go on your own with the children. Just because you do not drive does not mean you cannot go on days out.

To be fair the majority of people don't go on holidays with their ex

She is not your personal on call babysitter, it is up to you to arrange a babysitter when you are meant to have your children.

The thrush things is correct and is good advice. The nursery thing why did you not stand with your son. She sounds interested and involved with your children.

I am going to be cruel op but you sound very childish and willing to use your children as weapons because you haven't moved on. You need to grow up

Your post is really badly written and difficult to understand.

Are you talking about the partner of your ex? (your ex being the father of your children)

They are his children too and it's up to him who he allows near them, not you.

This sounds VERY petty.

If she isn't comfortable with her partner going on holiday with you then that's life.

How old are the kids?? graduation means adults yes?

Can you please add some punctuation because it's just a nightmare to try and read.

Well no, she doesn’t have to ‘step up’ at all. A stepparent isn’t a parent, and you needing help does not oblige her to provide it. Your children are not her responsibility.

• she's not wrong about the thrush thing.
• you could have stood there too at graduation.
• you can't dictate where he sees his kids
• you don't have to be married to be a stepmum
• she doesn't need to look after your children for you. She could decide to help your ex but certainly doesn't need to be the unpaid nanny for you
• why would you and your ex go on holiday together when he has a new partner and baby. They are a family now, NOT a family with you
• truth be told that's disgusting refusing to cancel the e kids going to your exs this weekend when you knew they had chicken pox and they have a new baby. Obviously it makes sense that if your kid has an infectious desease that can be serious for a baby that you don't force contact to go ahead. That is cruel. It's called being a mother

Just clocked you mean nursery graduation. My God.

i mean this in the kindest way, but her telling him to stop driving you about is actually the right thing to do! you are ex's, you have separate lives and you are muddying the boundaries as far as your children are concerned when you keep falling back into happy families with this man!

you very clearly still have feelings for you ex, and i assume you are jealous that he's moved on now and you've realised that the relationship is actually over (while he was driving you about there was still hope)

Why would you want to go away for a 'family weekend break' with your ex? especially as it looks like your children are a little older? (Son just graduated so must be 20/21ish?).

There's lots going on with your post, you say she won't look after your kids when you need her too? there is never any time where you should need your ex's partner to look after your kids, surely thats his job?

You do sound very jealous of his new relationship, and the relationship she seems to be building with your children, and i'm afraid you are going to have to suck it up buttercup, because this is what happens in real life!

As most have already said, you sound very bitter! You need to start building your own life now.

You need to let go.
He shouldn't have been going away with you, it can be very confusing for young children

You need to start sorting yourself out and planning days out on public transport if you don't drive. Book Butlins (or a Premier Inn in ay seaside town) bus t the train station,train to the destination, walk, taxi or bus to the Butlins or Premier Inn they are all positioned near close by transport hubs.

You don't get to say who spends time with your children when they are with their dad. You may not like him, her, or the choice he has made but if the court/you decided he was sound enough to take care of the children you need to respect his decisions providing they are not putting your children in actual danger.

Please don't take this badly but your writing style and the actual things you are writing make it sound like you are struggling to cope mentally and emotionally. Please see your GP about some mental health support if you haven't already.

He is allowed to have boundaries. That is healthy.

not driving doesn’t mean you can’t take your children away. It may make it harder but that’s for you to figure not him!