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AIBU?

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Original poster

I don’t want ex partner around my kids

167 replies

charco · 15/01/2025 14:23

She is just not a nice person and has no respect for me and thinks she can talk to me however she likes my ex and her go behind my back to tell my kids things I don’t want them to know like that my daughter can get thrush if she put soap inside when she is washing herself and I just don’t think it’s on. She stood with my son at his graduation when it should have been me just taking things away from me. I have told him if he wants to see the kids he can see them at mine or take them to his dad’s I don’t want them near nasty people. My little boy calls her stepmum and no one tells him to stop she’s not even married to their dad so she is no stepmum she won’t even look after them when I need her to why get with someone who has kids if you won’t take them on? She has taken so much from me like family days out and family holidays I have to miss out seeing my kids doing fun things because she not comfortable me and my ex taking them away for a week is so stupid and my ex saying if their baby died it would be my fault because I wouldn’t keep the kids on his weekend when they had chicken pox it’s called being a dad

OP posts:
NestaArcheron · 15/01/2025 15:56

You want her to step up but not because you don't want her around your kids?
But yet you expected her to drive you around?
Want you want is to have it all on your terms.
Telling your ex he can only see them at your house etc is just going to hurt the children, you cannot use them to get at him and his partner.
You need to grow up for the sake of your children.

AlohaRose · 15/01/2025 15:56

charco · 15/01/2025 15:52

End of the day my children will see her for what she is I told them I don’t like her because she’s not nice to there mummy so time will show them I was right

You're right, I think they will indeed see her for what she is - and they'll equally see you for what you are.

Rickrolypoly · 15/01/2025 15:56

charco · 15/01/2025 15:52

End of the day my children will see her for what she is I told them I don’t like her because she’s not nice to there mummy so time will show them I was right

Wow, you just keep on giving. Hope you've some money set aside to pay for your kids therapy later on.

Original poster
charco · 15/01/2025 15:56

Don’t see how I am wrong for wanting to protect my kids from nasty people and not having people who don’t benefit there lives around them

OP posts:
Sirzy · 15/01/2025 15:55

charco · 15/01/2025 15:52

End of the day my children will see her for what she is I told them I don’t like her because she’s not nice to there mummy so time will show them I was right

You did what??

whatever your feelings good parenting is putting on a smile and not dragging children into your feelings!

Starlight1984 · 15/01/2025 15:54

charco · 15/01/2025 15:52

End of the day my children will see her for what she is I told them I don’t like her because she’s not nice to there mummy so time will show them I was right

Wow. What great parenting 👏

Original poster
charco · 15/01/2025 15:53

BodyKeepingScore · 15/01/2025 15:49

@charco the more of your posts I read the worse you're coming across.

Sounds like their dad sees them for a significant number of days in the month and is an involved parent.

It also sounds like his partner has stepped in for childcare fairly often but your main gripe is that she doesn't do it every time you click your fingers.

Sick children often stay in bed. I know mine do when they're unwell, but you somehow consider this abusive? Catch a grip.

Your ex has every right to stop going on "family" days out with you because you're no longer his family. You're the mother of his children. His obligation is to them not to you.

On the whole, you genuinely just sound childish and controlling. I can see why there are tensions in the co parenting relationship.

It wasnt an obligation it was showing my kids that parents can get on if they not together still. Showing my son how to treat women and my daughter how she should be treated

OP posts:
Billydavey · 15/01/2025 15:52

charco · 15/01/2025 15:41

Think court would like to here how they just put my kids in bed when they are ill so there baby doesn’t get sick .thats abuse

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Op can’t be real. I think this is the shark being jumped…

Original poster
charco · 15/01/2025 15:52

End of the day my children will see her for what she is I told them I don’t like her because she’s not nice to there mummy so time will show them I was right

OP posts:
DaftyLass · 15/01/2025 15:51

Keeping a sick kid in bed is not abuse, it's making sure the rest of the household doesn't get sick

She should not be responsible for your son, that should be your ex being responsible

FuckedOverByBuilder · 15/01/2025 15:51

I genuinely can't work out if this is real as surely no one can be this lacking in self awareness?

No, putting the kids to bed when they're ill to rest isn't child abuse OP, my god!

Beezknees · 15/01/2025 15:50

So you think he's abusive to your kids but you're happy to send them to him when you want a break.

BodyKeepingScore · 15/01/2025 15:49

@charco the more of your posts I read the worse you're coming across.

Sounds like their dad sees them for a significant number of days in the month and is an involved parent.

It also sounds like his partner has stepped in for childcare fairly often but your main gripe is that she doesn't do it every time you click your fingers.

Sick children often stay in bed. I know mine do when they're unwell, but you somehow consider this abusive? Catch a grip.

Your ex has every right to stop going on "family" days out with you because you're no longer his family. You're the mother of his children. His obligation is to them not to you.

On the whole, you genuinely just sound childish and controlling. I can see why there are tensions in the co parenting relationship.

EmmaMaria · 15/01/2025 15:48

charco · 15/01/2025 15:47

How am I abusive

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Read your posts. They are a pretty good indicator.

Dollshousedolly · 15/01/2025 15:47

Surely you can see if your children arrive at their Dad’s ill with say, a tummy bug or flu and there’s a baby in the house, it’s a normal reaction to keep them separated and if they’re ill enough, bed is the best place for them. Perhaps suggest to your ex that when they are in bed with an illness a tv or laptop could be put in their room for entertainment ?

EmmaMaria · 15/01/2025 15:47

...the issue is his girlfriend thinking she better than me...

You clearly aren't getting the message her (although I am beginning to wonder if @Starlight1984 isn't correct)... we pretty much agree with her!

Original poster
charco · 15/01/2025 15:47

EmmaMaria · 15/01/2025 15:43

No it isn't abuse.

The only person sounding abusive here is you.

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How am I abusive

OP posts:
Original poster
charco · 15/01/2025 15:46

Dollshousedolly · 15/01/2025 15:44

Well, if your children are ill, surely bed is the best place for them??

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How is just putting them in bed looking after them it is abuse to just shut kids away ill or not

OP posts:
Dollshousedolly · 15/01/2025 15:44

charco · 15/01/2025 15:41

Think court would like to here how they just put my kids in bed when they are ill so there baby doesn’t get sick .thats abuse

Show quote history

Well, if your children are ill, surely bed is the best place for them??

Sirzy · 15/01/2025 15:43

she sounds like a saint putting up with your crap!

EmmaMaria · 15/01/2025 15:43

charco · 15/01/2025 15:41

Think court would like to here how they just put my kids in bed when they are ill so there baby doesn’t get sick .thats abuse

Show quote history

No it isn't abuse.

The only person sounding abusive here is you.

Starlight1984 · 15/01/2025 15:42

charco · 15/01/2025 15:41

Think court would like to here how they just put my kids in bed when they are ill so there baby doesn’t get sick .thats abuse

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I don't think putting kids in their bed is abuse 😂but the more you post the more I think this isn't real.

Starlight1984 · 15/01/2025 15:42

charco · 15/01/2025 15:24

He did and we do things on my weekend with kids but I was saying what she has taken from me since she got with my ex. I don’t want to go on holiday with him anymore but because of her he said we couldn’t take the kids away because she’s not comfortable with it when they first got together 2 years ago a lot has happened since then and I want nothing to do with either of them anymore they’re both horrible people saying I wish death on his family and twisting my words. I ask for help and never get it they are both part timers

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I don’t want to go on holiday with him anymore but because of her he said we couldn’t take the kids away because she’s not comfortable with it

Um yeah. Most people in relationships don't go on holiday with their ex. That would be extremely weird.

Redglitter · 15/01/2025 15:41

You're really not coming across well here. My sympathy is with the stepmum

TheBroonOneAndTheWhiteOne · 15/01/2025 15:41

charco · 15/01/2025 14:44

I don’t drive and he was ok do it before she came along and told him not to

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I don't blame her though.
I wouldn't like my new boyfriend going on holiday with his ex.
YABU.