To think a rebound could work

33 replies

paddingtonboots · 15/01/2025 13:47

I've met a lovely man, he's 50 and I'm 48 he is 3 months out of a 25 year marriage though with children.
He's taken me to meet his friends and I've been told he hasn't stopped smiling since we met and I'm all he talks about.
I've been single for a while through choice, focusing on career and travelling but now I'm at an age where I'd like to settle down and I've met a wonderful man, don't get me wrong it's only been a few weeks but we chat every day and meet up every few days and have a few shared friends.
AIBU to think this could be real so soon after his breakup?
I don't want to get carried away and end up hurt but he seems to really like me.

OP posts:

TheTruthHurtsDontIt · 15/01/2025 14:26

I've known a few people "rebound" into relationships they then stayed in very happily. There's no set formula or timeframe for love and sometimes it's inconvenient. You'll get a lot of bitter ex wives telling you it can never work and you're a fool for thinking it could, he's a typical man, he's just after your money blah blah blah, but it demonstrably can and does work all the time.

I'd just take it slow, have fun, enjoy it and him in the moment and accept that it might end, just like any relationship. Or it might last forever, who knows? I know you want to avoid getting hurt, but honestly if you avoid all the things in life that could end in hurt you won't have much of a life.

Original poster

paddingtonboots · 15/01/2025 14:02

I think what's making me think about this is that he was not the one to initiate the divorce although he agrees their marriage was not working, he was initially devastated by the break up and wanted to make it work for the children.
I feel as though ideally he'd still be with his wife but as she wants a divorce he's starting over but people have told me he's head over heels and happier than they've seen him in a long time.

OP posts:

ForRealCat · 15/01/2025 14:01

Where you've been focused on your career, what is your living situation? Particularly when you compare it to his? Do you own a nice house by any chance? Has he left the family home and is now in a rented flat?

The speed with which men used to the comforts of a home life, can fall for a new woman can make your head spin

outerspacepotato · 15/01/2025 14:00

It depends what you mean by "work".

I found many middle aged and up single men want a woman around to do the work, as in household work, emotional labour, running the household, taking over chores regarding kids, and sex. If the woman is willing, it "works". In your case, he's single for a mere 3 months after a decades long marriage looking for a new relationship, so I would guess he's looking for a new woman to take over the wife "work".

I found self reliant men who were widowed or whose marriages ended tended not to jump into new relationships so fast.

Catza · 15/01/2025 13:59

My former long-term partner and I got together while he was still technically married. But, at that point, they were separated for over two years and were actually no contact. It took further two years to get the divorce finalised. So, three weeks post divorce is quite a nebulous timeframe in practice. We were together for 6 years and I was the one who outgrew the relationship at the end.

Rollercoaster1920 · 15/01/2025 13:54

It depends. Divorce can be a while after separation, and that can be a while after the marriage is dead. No harm in taking it slow and see where it goes.

nfkl · 15/01/2025 13:49

Too soon very probably, any hurdle or temptation gets in his way and he may re-evaluate everything

2025herewecome · 15/01/2025 13:49

He’s a man - of course it’s not too soon, this is what men do.

Unflip

1 2