Therapist won’t let me cancel!

Psychologist here. I can’t quite believe what I’m reading. I’m so sorry you’ve had this experience. This is not normal, it is totally inappropriate and unprofessional. The sheer audacity of your therapist! There is no evidence base for weekly sessions for the type of therapeutic work you are doing, so the fact she kicked off about that makes me question her ethics. Personally I don’t do private work but if I did I would be mindful of the fact sessions are expensive, and most people cannot afford weekly sessions or for therapy to go on indefinitely. She’s got pound signs in her eyes and is taking advantage of the inherent therapist - client power imbalance by essentially bullying you. Definitely email, cancelling all sessions. I really would report her to the BACP too, she is trying to take financial advantage of vulnerable people and this needs to stop.

Sorry you had this experience.

Don't be ridiculous.

Why have you kept going back! Report her for pressurising you and ask her for a 50% refund on your sessions since she did not spend it on therapy.

ahe sees you as a cash cow.

As a counsellor I will confirm that this is far from professional and although we can advise our clients on further sessions we cannot be pushy it sound alike she's struggling financially and wants to up her sessions with you for her reasons which is not professional she needs to keep her own life separate from yours. I'd suggest walking away at this point and if she contacts you after this contact her accrediting body with your concerns so they can ensure she has the support she needs to continue her work or step back as they determine what's best.

I think you've exchanged an abusive man for an abusive therapist. She sounds disgraceful and unbalanced. Cancel with immediate effect and block her on everything. To do anything else would be utterly unreasonable. Spend the money on going out to lunch with your partner or getting your hair done or cute baby outfits or whatever gives you joy.

I’d be interested to know if the therapist continues the bullying on email. If so, great evidence to send her licensing body.

I have trained as a therapist and I can tell you that she is being very unprofessional. Do not waste anymore money, cancel your next appointment via email and if she contacts you, stick to your guns and don't get talked into booking more sessions.

Hi @Moocow1995 I’m a therapist and what you describe is highly unprofessional. I would email her to say you are not coming to any more sessions (you owe her NOTHING) and furthermore I would report her to whichever professional body she is registered with to stop her doing this again (if you’re not sure who she is registered with but you know her job title I can point you in the right direction). I’m so sorry you are in this situation - it is very manipulative and an abuse of power.

I am attending a therapist too who is the same. Told me he would prefer if I have to miss a session, that we have two the following week.

Give her a firm date when you want the sessions to stop and don't enter into any more conversation. I'm assuming you have to give very little notice outside their mandatory notice for cancelling a session? If it was me I'd drop her an email the week before you want your last session to be to tell her. If she starts bombarding you with calls block her number. If you think she's going to give you a hard time in your last session just don't attend - you're either paying £75 for a session where she's going to berate you or £75 for a session you don't attend but you can then cut all ties and have some peace.

Agree, I was told once that she doesn't want to hear "parent bashing " so refused to talk about any difficult situations I had as a child with my mother... then when I told her I'm very jealous in my relationship spent the whole session talking about a time her husband went away with work for the night and had a meal with a woman colleague and how she just had to get over it etc ..🙄 cost me £60 to hear that story

All she's worried about is the fact she's going to lose £100 per month(or whatever it is) she may be pointing it out as "well you NEED this" but I doubt it's in your best interests considering how unprofessional she sounds...

If you decide to complain mention your sessions were more about her than you. Also you should complain for others who can’t.

Her behaviour is not only unprofessional but unethical. If you can manage, I would report her. Potentially suable as well although I appreciate this would be beyond your capacity. She needs to be suspended or investigated as other potential clients could be vulnerable of exploitation.

sorry this has been your experience. There are good therapists out there, I would recommend looking into a person-Centred one when you feel up to it.

Therapist here.

Contact her via email and tell her you will not be returning from now, you are continuing your therapy elsewhere and if she questions this then you will be contacting the BACP. However, I am baffled that she is a member and hasn’t give you a contract!!

Therapist sounds like she’s suffering from countertranferance. Totally not your issue. Just cancel.

This therapist wants you to pay for her new kitchen - dump her.

Just text her Ive decided not to have any more sessions I am ready to go it alone thanks for your help in setting boundaries I’ve learnt a lot. Bye.

End it as you suggest. A therapy session should be about you and your issues.

I am a Therapist this is very unprofessional behaviour.I would email as others have suggested to cancel future appointments especially if you have no contract or cancellation agreement. I would ask for an acknowledgment that she has received your email so she can’t deny receiving it and potentially charge you for missed sessions. If she contacts you or continues to behave unprofessional then please do report her.

I am sorry you have had such a horrible experience and not have a positive ending to therapy

Drop her like a stone!

Shockingly unprofessional. You need to cease payment immediately. If she insists she needs to speak to you about ‘closure’ and ‘endings’ tell her she can put her points briefly in an email. Do not pay for this though. You are not obliged to speak to her further and certainly shouldn’t be paying her for the privilege of pushing her services! Do not pay any more money. You are being exploited by her now and you must establish boundaries. Be firm.

Email and tell her you are reporting her to the professional body, if she is a member.
Her behaviour is totally unacceptable and unprofessional. Do not pay another penny to this woman.

This is the take from my friend who is a counsellor: cancel your next appointment in writing, tell her if she continues to contact you, you will consider it harassment. Then block. Report to her professional body. They said this is absolutely unprofessional behaviour. You shouldn’t leave a session feeling worse.

STOP!!! NO CONTRACT, NO NEED TO GO BACK!

Tell her you are considering reporting her to the governing body of therapists for misconduct. And to the police for blackmail!
Misconduct can get her struck off the register, if she is actually on it. Blackmail carries a prison sentence!!
Then do not respond to her messages but do screenshot them so even if she deletes them you still have proof she sent them - do the screenshot before you speak to her!