DS has quit his job to go travelling with a girl he just met

My DC are both now in their early 20s. I have always encouraged them to travel while they're still young. Let him go and wish him well, OP.

Make sure he has the very best insurance you can find, make sure it covers all his proposed travel and a bit extra in case they stay on longer, maybe pay for it yourself so you know it is as watertight as it can be. Warn him about things like mopeds and some sports which can negate even the best insurance then let him loose.

It could be the making of him, restoring his confidence and giving him a focus in his life.

My stepson is about to do the same, albeit he’s known his girlfriend longer, but not been going out long. Frankly I wish he’d done it a bit younger as he’s more established in his job now.

but they are going to do whatever they are going to do. I travelled after uni for about 5 years then started working properly. It’s never held me back.

Have you met her? Spent time in her company, gauged what sort of person she is ? I'm sure your son knows his own mind , whether the relationship works out or not he will have had a wonderful experience travelling and you say yourself he's more confident and happy now. I'd be encouraging but let him know if he gets fed up he's welcome back anytime no questions.

Good for him. He's only going to be this age once.....let him live before real life kicks in.

He's 24, still plenty of time to settle in to the hum drum of daily work and responsibilities.

Whilst I would be worried sick and sad to see my kids leave, I'd also be supremely jealous of the journey and self discovery he is about to experience. True, this girl may not be "the one" but if he has fun and chalks up some experiences that many people only dream of then good for him.

I accidentally clicked Yanbu but what I mean is Yanbu to be concerned, from a mum pov

however from the pov of someone else who travelled a lot in their early 20s (albeit not to follow a certain person) yabu. It will be good for him. If he has an itch to travel it makes more sense to do it now than in the future.

It may do his confidence wonders. It may not last but he can travel without her and meet other people. When I was his age I wanted to travel more and my partner didn’t so I didn’t do it. Massive regret. They say you regret what you don’t do. Plus there will be other jobs and opportunities he is young! Maybe this girl is the one who knows unless they try, I think you have to trust him.

As long as he can afford it and don't expect you to bail him out when he gets home as he has given up his job, it's all good

I’d be cautions that he’s only just met this girl, but you’re only young once.

(and don’t forget to get good travel insurance).

You've met the Mumsnet herd. One finds something to have a go at you about, and then the rest pile on.

Yes, it's good that someone mentioned the drug mule thing as although a tiny chance, best to be aware. But all the rest piling on and having a go? They just want to have a go. Best ignored IMO.

Regarding your DS, in the kindest way, you are being U. It's great you've come here to talk it over before telling him not to go or similar!

It's totally understandable to be anxious about our DC going away but in reality it's a fantastic opportunity for him, especially if he's shy.

It sounds a lot more organised that when my generation went travelling, we set off with a hope and a prayer (possibly a guide book - no internet) and made it up as we went along! And parents home had to just hope for a postcard every few months! These days I'd be WhatsApping them pictures every 5 minutes!

Also well done him for getting a fantastic start to a career under his belt. He can go travelling and come back to solid foundations and job opportunities. Let him have some fun for a while, you're only young once! And, it could be the making of him, confidence wise.

I have been involved in some job interviews, now it might be the sector I am in, but very little regard was taken if anyone took a gap year, unless the work they did was relevant.

suggesting that a 24 year old shouldn't take a punt and go travelling because they might not get a job is ridiculous.

he is a civil engineering graduate so i imagine not stupid and the girl is on her own gap year that is already organised, he is not looking after her.

it sounds like just what he needs. he s done all the right things, ticked all the boxes. we are in an extremely connected and online world, your phone works almost everywhere, there's 3/4/5g almost everywhere without need of a sim or an international number.

I hope has an excellent time OP, be happy for him i'm sure it will be the making of him regardless of whether the relationship lasts or not the memories will be forever.
you only need to remind him you're a call away and to take a couple of battery packs.

Sounds like a great opportunity for him. He has his whole life to focus on work again.
I see your concerns with not knowing her long but just let him know that he has a home to come back to at any point if it doesn’t work out.

He will have a brilliant time!
For those saying it makes no difference to his CV, 3 months backpacking around asia shows flexibility, resourcefulness and exposure to other cultures, even if "mummy (is) on whatsapp daily".
The drug mule thing is real and I'm afraid this girl is showing all the attributes of someone they would target. There are billions of dollars in the asian drug industry and an attractive, well mannered girl in need of money whilst travelling is exactly what they are looking for. Just tell him to NEVER carry anything for someone else.. no presents to her family when he comes home, no extra makup bottles or tubes whilst they are moving between countries. Even t shirts if they are folded and in a bag. Harsh but that should be a blanket rule.

Other than that.. WooHoo!!!!

I’m guessing the job market is different in Australia

https://www.theguardian.com/money/article/2024/aug/29/uk-graduates-struggle-job-market#:~:text=Yet%2C%2054%25%20of%20employers%20told,graduate%20workers%20lacking%20relevant%20skills.

My daughter went off on her own to travel at the start of 2023. We thought she was going for maybe 6 - 9 months. It was a year. She popped back at Xmas end of '23, went off again at start of '24 and did another year. She's back now to do a bit of work, get some savings and go off again. Everyone in the family is happy for her and also a bit puzzled. Her gran has tried to talk to her about a pension but it falls on deaf ears. All she wants is to see the world. It's out of our hands.

Good luck OP. I'm sure your son is sensible. I doubt he'l be gone for 2 years, unless he's got a heck of a lot of savings or he works his way across the world. It'll be ok. Character forming.

I haven't read the whole thread, and as a parent, I completely understand your concerns. But the job market is very very different to how it used to be, having time travelling is not detrimental.

Our DS is a similar age when he left university, he got himself a job, to pay the bills. Then he left to go abroad for 6 months, when he came back, again got a job to pay the bills, and is now

abroad again DH and I were very concerned, but then we decided he is young, he is having the time of his life; he has his degree, we know when he is is working he works hard and does a good job. Added that it doesn't seem to be a problem to your career if you have a few jobs, and time out on your CV.

He may have to work until he's 70, so why not just enjoy these years?

OP it sounds amazing. He'll have a great time and it may be rhe making of him (in terms of shyness etc). The job he has now he'll always have on his CV so no reason he won't get something similar on his return. He's 24 - he has the rest of his life to work!

The drug mule stuff is quite ridiculous 😅

Hooray! Your DS is growing up! Life is for living. He can get another job.

As an aside - I went to Canada for three months when I was 19 with a man I’d met once! We met via the chat column of a course we were both doing and snail mailed for a few months. We met at a youth hostel one weekend to see if we would get along a month before going!
It kind of turned out fine. We got together and had four children and were together 15 years before he became my ex.

Go on, read the whole thread 😂

We have suggestion that he will become a drug mule and then doss around the for rest of his life.....

That’s Mumsnet for you, but it probably is a good thing to be aware of (he probably was anyway given he’s a grown adult and is going travelling….!).

I think he’s doing exactly what a 24 year old should be doing, and hope he has a great time! In all likelihood it’s either now, or when he’s in his 50s+.

Also she sounds like a lovely girl from what you’ve said - makes him feel happy and confident. Sometimes things just are nice, and easy, and good. Don’t shit on it!

He will make memories that will last a life time. Be prepared, he may never come back.

Honestly OP it sounds like the perfect adventure for a young person and will hopefully fill him with confidence, however it turns out with the girl.

(Also almost this exact scenario happened to friends of mine, and they've been married over 12 years with 2 kids now)

Please ignore the absolute loons taking an offhand joke about him [physically] carrying her [heavy] bag and turning it into her being a drugs runner FFS. If she gave him a locked bag and said 'I'm on a different flight, please take this bag from Colombia to Madrid for me' then yes, big red flags. If he carries her heavy backpack from the bus to the check in desk where she checks it in under her own name, no red flags.