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Original poster

Christmas Presents from Boyfriend

184 replies

PandyDandy · 14/01/2025 19:39

I don't want to appear ungrateful but I am upset that for Christmas I made a lot of effort and bought my boyfriend of 1 year several presents that I knew he would love, which he did.

His presents to me were a bag of what I would describe as 'junk bits and bobs' and a print out of voucher for a couple of activities, although he hasn't actually purchased a voucher, it was 'I owe you' situation.

The bag of junk came to around £80 and the presents I purchased him came to around £300. I know money should not matter but I saved up to get him really nice presents I knew he would love and earn considerably less than him. He is well off and doesn't have financial difficulties.

AIBU?

OP posts:
HoppityBun · 14/01/2025 19:46

The is that you’re comparing what you spent on him with what he spent on you.
Why are you that?
Why did you spend so much on him?
How could he have known both a)/what you were spending on him and b) that you expected him to spend the same on you?

missmollygreen · 14/01/2025 19:45

You sound really entitled OP

sesquipedalian · 14/01/2025 19:44

People are very different in what they consider reasonable by way of presents. You’ve only been going out a year - did he know your expectations? Had you dropped hints that were ignored? Perhaps in your BF’s family, Christmas is a much lower key affair than it is in your family. Perhaps the things he gave you were the sort of,thing he’d seen female members of the family getting. I don’t think that either of you got it wrong, just that clearly, you have different expectations.

Movinghouseatlast · 14/01/2025 19:44

How can 'junk' cost £80?

Did you agree a budget? It was your first Christmas together so unless you had a budget it's hard for either of you to know what to spend.

I think £300 is a lot to spend on a new boyfriend. I spend about £175 on my partner of 28 years!

Original poster
PandyDandy · 14/01/2025 19:44

Wavescrashingonthebeach · 14/01/2025 19:41

What was in the bag of "junk" other than vouchers?
Is he kind and generous at other times?
Some people just aren't "presentey" people and either need a bit of guidance in this regard or thought needs to be made if its a deal breaker.

A cosmetic item (£30), a book and chocolate/biscuits.

He isn't overtly generous, for instance I've never had 'just because' flowers.

OP posts:
username2851 · 14/01/2025 19:43

£80 is alot for me! £300 is OTT

Wavescrashingonthebeach · 14/01/2025 19:42

Fwiw I think £300 is a bit much to be spending if you had to save up to do it. Around the £100 mark is normal. But obviously different for everyone's financial situation.

Floralnomad · 14/01/2025 19:42

Perhaps he’s not an imaginative gift giver . Look at the bigger picture , what is he like normally stingy or generous ?

Wavescrashingonthebeach · 14/01/2025 19:41

What was in the bag of "junk" other than vouchers?
Is he kind and generous at other times?
Some people just aren't "presentey" people and either need a bit of guidance in this regard or thought needs to be made if its a deal breaker.

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