Christmas Presents from Boyfriend

Throw this one back Op. These types of behaviours don't age well!

Was the book something you'd read by an author you like?
Was the cosmetic something you'd use?
Surely the vouchers might have some value, you could use them with him or a friend?
It's mean to call it junk in my view. Unless they really were stuff from a pound shop that you have no interest in.

Next time literally give a list of a few things, nothing you know is above his price range. Some men are useless at gifting but you shouldn't be ungrateful too much.

I think your first mistake was spending £300 on him.

Your second mistake was expecting/hoping for an equivalent spend back. If I'm going to spend over the odds on presents for someone-I do it with the expectation that I won't receive the same in return and I have zero hope for receiving the same in return.

Now, if his gifts show little thought to what you would actually use and like-and he's ignored what you have specified that you would like i.e., the perfume, that's a bit of a different issue.

Is the issue that he put zero thought into the gifts he got for you or that he didn't spend as much on you as you spent on him?

When he mentioned the things that he would like, was he giving hints that he expected all of those things or was it just a general list for you to choose an item from, but you went all out and bought the lot?

It's a tricky one as it's your first Christmas together so expectations are still being set. £80 is still quite a bit of money to spend on your first Christmas together.

Maybe in future don't spend £300 with the expectation that the person will match it.

So he told you specific expensive things he wants for Christmas and then ended up reciprocating with a bag full of shite that he clobbered together at the last minute with IOU vouchers that he didn't spend any money on ( depends on if you stick around for such lovely treatment ) and ignored the perfume hint you offered....

Yeah you're not entitled you are well withing your right to feel pissed off and let down.

Get rid of him, he doesn't respect or value you at all.

Next time (and next boyfriend!) don't ask. Half the fun is figuring special ways to treat someone and, honestly, £300 on a new relationship is over the top. It will inevitably lead to issues and unmet expectations.
I also got an autobiography of someone I don't know and don't care about as a first Christmas gift. Which is something we laughed about years later. What I do for my partner, though, is something you might describe as "a bag of junk" which is a box of his favourite things - an expensive shower gel he likes but never buys for himself, a couple of upmarket hand creams he also would never buy for himself, a book, a bag of his favourite sweets etc. Nothing that tips over the £100 mark usually and all the little things he loves and is happy to receive. I have never in my life asked him m what he wanted. That just seems lazy to me.

Having read the rest of your comments @PandyDandy I’d dump and move on . Very cheeky asking for expensive stuff and then not spending a roughly equivalent amount .

Get rid of him unless you want to continue on that trajectory!

Erm, I think he doesn't see this relationship going anywhere and thought he'd try being a CF. No one asks for a £300 gift and then gives hardly anything in return unless they do not have any respect for that person.

It was cheeky of him to ask for £300 worth of stuff knowing he would not spend in the same ball park, unless he didn't expect all the items or the vouchers are worth similar.

Present monetary value means little to me.
The effort and thought means everything.

I'd rather get 1 thing that shows my partner knows me, loves me, thought about me etc. than a bag full of expensive shite

So, if he got you £80 worth fo stuff he knows you'll love because he knows you and thought about you - fantastic. Of he got you £80 worth of tat in a last minute run to Sainsbury's, fuck him off, he ain't worth it.

I wish my husband would spend £80 on me. For xmas this year I got a jigsaw puzzle, a mug and a blanket. I had to ask him if he'd mistaken me for his grandmother.

I would describe myself and financially comfortable and spend about £100 on DH for Christmas (he spends about the same in return).

I’d be upset too op. It’s not about the actual items or the cost - it’s the thought and effort. It’s a bag of ‘you’re not worth the effort’. I’d be having serous doubts about the future of the relationship unless he makes it up to you and promises to do better.

You sound very entitled. An expensive make up item, a book, and some sweet treats. I'd love that. It sounds like you spent a ridiculous amount on him, in the hope that he would do the same. You need to get over yourself.

£80 is a lot to spend on someone. I spent £40 on my husband of 26 years, and that is more than usual. Why do you describe his presents as a bag of junk? Was it the way they were presented? You sound mean and entitled.

Did you agree a budget?

£300 is a lot. £80 seems more reasonable I think.

What sort of experiences?
Dinner in a Michelin * restaurant?
Tickets to a great show?
A trip to KFC?

Our budget was about 250
We're married
We spend what we can afford
Christmas is commercialised enough without having to save when you're not earning that much.
What did you do for each other's birthdays?

One year, I bought a boyfriend a gold eyebrow bar (it was the 2000's!) and some aftershave.

He gave me £10 in a card.

We didn't last much longer.