Christmas Presents from Boyfriend

What kind of activity vouchers where they and how many?

According to Martin Lewis, the average gift spend for Christmas 2024 was £300. The fact that your boyfriend asked for something that cost so much is entitled in itself (unless the list of ideas totalled that and you happened to buy the lot !)
Did you mean to spend that much or did you misunderstand ? Crossed wires ??
As you say though, this is not about the money, it is about the thought and I can hear the upset in your tone. I always say go with your gut. It is rarely wrong. Disappointment is a horrible feeling to have in a relationship so early on. There is the potential for this to continue. How would you feel then ??
Whatever you do next, he needs to know how this has upset you. If his response is complacent and defensive, you have your answer !

Everyone is different and some people would be happy with that. I would not be and neither are you so I would take it as a sign you are not compatible and move on . Good luck x

Sounds like you're just mismatched when it comes to gifting. £80 is a reasonable amount to spend on a partner your first Christmas together, £300 was your choice even if he asked for the stuff and pretty excessive- if you were giving in the hope to receive the same amount back then wait until you know someone better.

These comments are honestly pointless.

YANBU. His presents are thoughtless and crap.

It's been a YEAR. Calm down you're trying to hard.

I think some pp are being a bit harsh on you op. From your updates it’s clear you’re upset by the lack of thought and effort and that’s fair. Some men are just rubbish at gift giving but only you will know if this is a reflection on your relationship as a whole or not.

OP in the future if someone gives you a list of things they want for birthday/Christmas just pick a couple of items that you can afford.

I'm glad I read your updates OP as I've changed my mind

He sounds like a lazy arse and I would be really upset with a BF who put so little thought into a gift

Dump him

This made me laugh. I am 60 and granny to 7, I would love these presents. 😆😆

It would be the inequality that stings. His precise demands for expensive presents, whilst ignoring your reasonable request for perfume and instead rooting around his cupboard for old chocolates and the remaindered part of the book store.

I'm dying to know what the Biography was.... Not Boris Johnson's? Maybe "My life as a Fly Fisher" by JR Hartley?

You could have quite a lot of fun with some return vouchers for him for experiences you never intend to pay for.

There’s a reason he has lots more money than you! Disgusting user. New year, new man I think.

It is irrelevant if you are being unreasonable or not. It doesn't matter what anyone else thinks.

There is a mismatch of expection regarding present giving between you and your boyfriend. You need to decide how important that is to you.

If expensive presents are very important to you in a relationship, perhaps this isn't the relationship for you? If it is important you probably need to address this up front before committing a year to someone. I not sure how you will address this up front without sending out a big red flag to potential boyfriends though. Good luck.

He's bloody rude and tight - 2 crappy personality traits right there. You DO NOT drool heavy hints for expensive items with no intention of reciprocating.
The diy vouchers would really piss me off too, particularly for the band he likes.

Would dump immediately and move on and don't spend so much ££ on a boyfriend of a year again??!

I'd be pretty pissed at that aswell OP. On what planet does he think odds and sods are acceptable when he has obviously asked for significantly more . Christmas and birthdays are generally when we like to spoil people and show our love and appreciation with a few well chosen gifts . He sounds like someone I'd bin off tbh or you'll always feel let down . People can say he's obviously not into gifts of Christmas but he certainly seemed to be when choosing his own .

I think these sorts of posts will always have a range of replies. You'll always get the martrys that never get anything so you should be grateful for crap and the ones who's partners spend all year planning the perfect gifts. Ultimately it's what you're willing to deal with, personally if he was a lovely person with lots going for him I'd give him another try e.g. birthday present but if this is a continuation of his usual self I'd let him go. It doesn't make you entitled as such but you are entitled to have a relationship you feel happy in and not just because other people have it worse. You can also end a relationship for any reason.

I had an ex that was like this. In his case it was partly that we had different approaches to present buying, and partly that he was an abusive twat (not saying that's the case here)

But the only Christmas we were together, I got lots of "you'd better buy me something good" "don't buy me cheap crap" and so on.

Now my way of present buying means spending time finding that perfect something. And if it ends up costing £5 in a charity shop then so be it.

His way was to buy lots of things without any thought as to if they were appropriate.

So I bought him a specific, retro item and some other things I knew he'd love. I spent more than I usually would because of his comments in the run up (like I said he was abusive)

He got me 3 cheapish bath sets, eg a Sex In the City set with shower gel etc, when I'm not a fan of SiTC and have very sensitive skin so can only use certain brands. A fake silver bangle which was not my style at all, and a sterling silver bracelet which I actually love and still wear 8/9 years later. (It was about £10 in Argos)

I don't think the amount he spent on you matters @PandyDandy , but the lack of thought does.

If you're planning on staying with him you'll just have to lower your expectations.

I have 3 DCs. One Christmas my ONLY gift to unwrap was a potato masher which was a joke from my parents (who also gave me some money as there was something expensive I wanted).

My DH got me nothing. And nothing from the kids either.

I felt like shit. Really humiliated that he couldn't be bothered.

I had got him loads of things he wanted and needed and from the kids too.

I'd see it as a sign. Does he really care that much?

He didn't know you were going to spend £300!
If you're otherwise happy and still enjoying the honeymoon phase, I'd drop this.

My husband got me nothing. Also didn’t take the kids shopping to get anything. I’ve told him
how hurtful that was and he just doesn’t say anything.

he obviously knew how much you would spend OP as he asked for the expensive item. Hes likely to get worse and worse. If you stay with him lower your expectations as his gifts will get worse and worse over the years til you end up with nothing. mine just started out with cheap crappy presents, things that I actually don’t like, like a bottle of alcohol that I don’t drink, or stuff bought from the 711 late at night, or towels. Sometimes I would even say I don’t mind what I get just don’t get me towels, and then he would again buy towels. I also got nothing on my bday, he actually forgot last year.