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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think I could make friends in a small town?

35 replies

Twoshoesnewshoes · 14/01/2025 14:02

I currently live in a small village. I have four good friends here but for various reasons they do not often want to socialise, which is fine and understandable.

I’m realising I want to do more in my evenings.

there are a couple of small towns around 20 minutes drive from us that SP and I are considering moving to - partly for me this would be to join groups eg pottery class, yoga, get out more and meet new people.
some people have suggested it will be very difficult to meet people now that we don’t have school age children.

i feel optimistic, but are they right?

YABU it’s really hard to meet new friends at this life stage
YANBU you’ll probably find some folk to hang out with
thanks!

OP posts:
MumonabikeE5 · 17/01/2025 09:01

Through volunteering and taking classes you can make friends especially if you are mindful of your intent but not socially fragile. It takes time, but also needs confidence.

TheYearOfSmallThings · 17/01/2025 09:00

If it's only 20 minutes drive I don't see any need to move? Just attend things in the town and see how it goes.

Bramshott · 17/01/2025 08:58

What's stopping you joining the classes in the town and making friends from where you are? 20 minutes drive is not so far...

Original poster
Twoshoesnewshoes · 17/01/2025 08:54

Coming back to this cos DP and I had a casual chat in bed last night which then kept me awake for two hours with my brain going over and over!

I am torn between staying here and going to small town and I realised the dilemma is mainly fear driven.

i do like our house, the location is amazing, i love the views and the peace. I’m worried that I’ll move and lose these things and regret it.
our house is semi detached and i would want detached or attached because im sensitive to noise.
so we are unlikely to get a ‘lovely’ house.
but I’m bored and lonely here and want the next stage of my life.
argh doing my own head in here!

OP posts:
Original poster
Twoshoesnewshoes · 14/01/2025 15:38

Yes that’s true @Pootles34 I could join a couple of groups now and see how I go

OP posts:
Pootles34 · 14/01/2025 15:07

Excuse me! Our Wi has an average age of about 45 thank you very much 😁Seriously though, as with most social groups, you need to shop around a bit - a few of them are a little bit older, so try a few out - maybe before you move? I'm sure this will be true of other groups like pottery, yoga etc.

Original poster
Twoshoesnewshoes · 14/01/2025 14:53

Sorry, typo, should be DP

OP posts:
saveforthat · 14/01/2025 14:28

Twoshoesnewshoes · 14/01/2025 14:26

Thanks @InTheRainOnATrain
I’m nearly 50, so that funny age, older than the primary school mums but too young for WI 😂

Actually there is no minimum age for the WI. A friend of mine joined in her 30s. What's SP?

Original poster
Twoshoesnewshoes · 14/01/2025 14:26

Thanks @InTheRainOnATrain
I’m nearly 50, so that funny age, older than the primary school mums but too young for WI 😂

OP posts:
InTheRainOnATrain · 14/01/2025 14:16

If you’re willing to put yourself out there and try lots of different things then I don’t think you’ll have an issue. My mum moved recently, is in her 60s and honestly has a better social life than I do 😂