Has anyone quit the rat race?

If it were that easy to opt out of the rat race and still have money for holidays and "nice things" while raising small children, everyone would be doing it.

DH and I have opted out to an extent but (and this is a big but) we don't have children who depend on us to be educated and socialised, so we can essentially do whatever we like as long as our bills are paid each month.

However, that comes at a cost. We can't really afford holidays, our cars are 2nd/3rd hand, as is a lot of our stuff at home. We have a house that needs work doing to it and generally live a pretty frugal life, all things considered.

I think there are very, very people who can afford to opt out and carry on living a lifestyle with nice things, holidays etc. all while raising small children.

Depending on where you live now there are cheaper and vibrant towns and small cities that are less expensive than anywhere around London or bigger cities. Before my child was born I moved to the outskirts of a vibrant town, which freed up cash.

Work out why you want “nice things” and if it’s really worth busting a gut for?

work out your income if you both went part time, your PA would still be the same but you’d obviously pay less tax

is the nice car sat on the drive for 95% of the time worth more than spending time together

Hello!! I’m kind of in this place temporarily and considering how to make it work long term.
I’m 6 months into taking a year off with my 3 year old (and I’m a single parent so I’m using my savings).
It’s been great for them - and my health and wellbeing, and everything feels less rushed. They still access 15 hours preschool/nursery.
I have slimlined on my clothing, and def no foreign or expensive holidays for us. But we have a lot more time and ENERGY for lovely day trips or nights away. We’ll go camping when the weather gets warm.

I’ve been surprised that in a really unquantifiable way, I kind of feel like my status has fallen and people (even family!) treat slightly differently. I’m just a mum at the moment.

However my mind is more alive as I have time to think straight and stay on top of things without rushing all the time.

I’m not sure yet about the long term - so following this with interest!!!

I’d like to work part time / maybe start a small business (though that comes with stress!). I can always return to a more traditional career otherwise and I’m sure I’ll get back into the buzz, but I really want to experience my life and not have it rush past me.

You say you want nice things, most people I know who have 'opted out' - and I know a few, I'm in a rural location which is a magnet for these types, they also opt for a more simple lifestyle which demands less of them. Unless you're wealthy you kinda have to pick I suppose?

Small children are bloody hard work whether you mostly look after them yourself or go to work and pay nursery fees.

It does get significantly easier as they get older.

I did, in 2007. Haven't looked back! No children though and that was pre-Brexit when you could move freely around Europe. Ah, the good old days...

I love tv programmes about this

Following as I’m in the same boat

I’m a big follower of FIRE blogs and am close to stepping out of the race.

Life isn’t enjoyable or sustainable as you describe it. There is no joy in your post - so regardless of whether other people enjoy it - you need to figure out what brings you joy.

A simpler life means prioritising some things and leaving others to the side. What’s that for you?

A priority of mine was having housing security- I did that early and put huge efforts into it. It has freed up many other things for me.

Young kids and work can be a really tough time - so that will be hard anywhere.

But getting out of a city we were in for work to move where we had connections, lower cost of living and better quality of life was great and I don’t regret it.