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AIBU?

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Original poster

To be absolutely gutted about this

35 replies

Rhian90 · 14/01/2025 09:05

I decided to end my 20 year relationship a few months ago as he was just lazy and uninterested in family life. We have 2 children age 4 and 7. 3 weeks after the split I found out he was taking the children out with another woman and her child (she is a single mum) he only has them one night per week and although I admit I am a bit bitter, shouldn’t they be spending quality time with him instead?

OP posts:
Original poster
Rhian90 · 14/01/2025 09:17

It just hurts as they have been through so much already. I just wish he would have told me to be honest and I found out from the kids. She seems nice enough though.

OP posts:
TetHouse · 14/01/2025 09:15

I used to go out a lot at weekends with a recently-separated neighbour and our children, who were friends — I had an only child and DH worked away most weekends, his older children were far older and away at school, he only had his son at weekends, and pooling resources gave the boys companionship and fun. I wasn’t shagging him. I liked him, but could entirely see why he’d been such a disastrous husband his wife had started divorce proceedings.

Largestlegocollectionever · 14/01/2025 09:11

This just shows why it was good you left him! Well done, some poor other woman can deal with him.
I understand it must hurt, and it’s not right for the kids, but at least they’ll see what normal looks like with you.

Rickrolypoly · 14/01/2025 09:11

I think if you are being honest, what is bothering you is that he is playing happy families with your kids and another woman when he wasn't bothered doing that with you. It sucks.

Emilianoo · 14/01/2025 09:11

He might just get along with her, and the kids might get along well. I dont see the issue.

Rachmorr57 · 14/01/2025 09:11

This reply has been deleted

This has been deleted by MNHQ for breaking our Talk Guidelines.

BlondeMamaToBe · 14/01/2025 09:10

Anyone involving new partners with their kids after only three weeks needs shot with shit.

ViciousCurrentBun · 14/01/2025 09:10

Unfortunatley unless someone has an order restricting their access to children then there is nothing you can do. This is one of the awful things about breaking up you can request or ask but unless they are putting children in danger it can't be stopped. I mean you said he was lazy so he has immediately found someone who will give a hand. You have to put it to him really to manage that. He will be on best behaviour currently and won’t be like how he was, again very annoying.

Catza · 14/01/2025 09:09

What's your definition of quality time? Shortly after I met my partner, we took the kids camping. We had a wonderful weekend with loads of activities for the children, beach time, paddle boarding etc. Would he have spent more quality time with his daughter if they were sitting at home watching TV together?

Spirallingdownwards · 14/01/2025 09:09

Unfortunately now you are living separately he is entitled to do what he wants with his children when he has contact time with them.

It may not be a new partner (although possibly is). If he is only having them one night a week is he used to looking after them anyway even when you were together. He may be doing that thing some men do of roping in a woman to help with childcare.

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