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AIBU?

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Original poster

Partner always wants to go halves

158 replies

PennyApril54 · 14/01/2025 00:42

Been seeing my partner for around 2 years now. Both buy food / drinks when we see each other in our separate homes but I feel annoyed about his approach to eating out.
He always wants to split the bill down the middle and clarifies this is the plan before we even decide to eat out i.e. He says ' will we go to X for food and split it'.
I prefer us to have turns each paying and have paid the full amount before only to be met be the halves suggestion the next time.

I feel there's something about this that seems cold, distant, formal. It doesn't feel caring or romantic in any way.
AUBU? Yes.. it's a bit of a shitty approach to a dinner date
No...going halves every time is fine

OP posts:
pistolknight · 14/01/2025 00:57

Taking turns seems a more grown up way of doing it. I'd go dutch though if he wants to split the bill and only pay for what I'd eaten/drank.

Original poster
PennyApril54 · 14/01/2025 00:57

pickywatermelon · 14/01/2025 00:48

Going halves is fine in my mind if you have no shared financial commitment - yet from my pov buying a meal isn’t a romantic thing - it’s nice but in the end just eating

Where do you want this relationship to go? Is it more what it means to you versus actually the splitting?

Yes I'm more than happy to pay my own way it's just the arrangement I don't like, the saying it right before we eat or getting our separate cards out to pay like we're strangers. It makes me feel a bit shit.

OP posts:
zerogrey · 14/01/2025 00:55

I go halves with friends. Not partners. If it's a first date or something, halves absolutely.

Once you're in a relationship, going halves seems like something a tight fisted arse would do. Taking turns like you said is the way to go.

Cardinalita90 · 14/01/2025 00:54

Does splitting straight down the middle every time work out fair for you though? I.e. he's not having a bottle of red snd steak while you have a salad and a coke and therefore subsidising him?

I think it would be more the announcement of going halves every time that would annoy me. Maybe fair enough on first few dates but why does he feel the need to a) unilaterally decide how you're handling the bill and b) announce it like it's a new thing every Time after 2 years?!

JustJoinedRightNow · 14/01/2025 00:48

I don't think you should go halves, if he's eating more than you each time.

spoonfulofsugar1 · 14/01/2025 00:48

Yanbu. It would put me off.

pickywatermelon · 14/01/2025 00:48

Going halves is fine in my mind if you have no shared financial commitment - yet from my pov buying a meal isn’t a romantic thing - it’s nice but in the end just eating

Where do you want this relationship to go? Is it more what it means to you versus actually the splitting?

OlderGlaswegianLivingInDevon · 14/01/2025 00:47

50/50 is fine when dating a boyfriend.

Maybe if you were living together as partners then you may have some joint finances

or if it were a birthday meal etc. then one may wish to treat the other.