Partner always wants to go halves

Your real issue is the issue that you can’t bring it up.

It’s perfectly fair to split the bill, taking turns will never be quite fair, it wouldn’t bother me. DH and I do take turns, first date I insisted on paying. For me it was very much I earn my own money and am not beholden nor am I needing a man. This is from a place as a young woman that had no intention of ever marrying though I obviously did, much to my shock as everyone else’s.

DS had a date with a girl at the weekend and she suggested halves, he insisted on paying. I was quite taken aback. She is apparently very lovely.

Unless you're going to a Michelin Star place one week and McDonalds the next, does it really matter which way around you do it? It'll all even out over time.

Personally I'm a 'take turns' payer to save hassle, but it's no biggie either way.

Going halves or not, mentioning it before the meal would give me the massive ick, whether its friend, partner, family, whoever, just wait until the bill comes ffs!

Was it fair for OP to pay the full bill and
then next time he only paid his half?

The poster is right, this is who he is.

Doesn’t it just even out over time if you take turns paying? Or is it a case of remembering who paid last? I can understand that, I would forget.

I would put an extra £50 each or whatever amount in the joint account each month to cover meals out.

Lack of generosity.
Awful trait.

I agree with you, it's not romantic at all. I suppose the problem is so many people get ripped off by others. It's not nice to think he's worried about you doing that to him though.

"He's showing you who he is" Lol

What, someone fair?

I think going halves when eating out is very infrequent, then it's fair enough really. It sounds like you're just incompatible in this element – up to you if it's a dealbreaker.

Ask him to take turns instead for while – he should be able to compromise in doing it your way for a 6 month period or so.

This would give me the ick but I can’t put my finger on why. I am always happy to pay and we take turns so technically it’s coming out as the same. Something to do with splitting seems weird.

We've been married for over 30 years and we go halves on meals out. Usually one of us pays and the other transfers their share. This is because our joint accounts are for bills and essentials, we pay for treats such as meals out and holidays 50/50 from our own accounts.
If one of us earned far more than the other - or was a SAHP - I would find this unfair but we earn approximately the same so it seems the fairest way.

Here's what you do @PennyApril54

Wait until he says his thing, then you say,
'Oh, I was going to treat you but halves is fine, no problem.'
Then break eye contact and look at the menu.
If he back tracks, keep insisting that, 'no, halves is great.'

That should break his habit.

I think going halves is fine in principle but it would annoy me that he felt the need to keep saying it! As though I was some sort of freeloader.

I also think it’s nice to each treat the other one - voluntarily- from time to time, and someone who never wanted to do that would put me off.

She does treat him, he doesn’t reciprocate, he just does 50/50 the next time.

Going strictly halves can still be tight.

Back in the old days there used to be a minimum charge of 4.2p or something to make a local landline phonecall.

I had a flatmate who would scour the phone bill, work out which local places we'd called to order a shared pizza, or a shared taxi, and split each 4.2p in half. That was bloody tight even then!!

Half-ish is accurate enough if you're going halves after 2 years.

I’ve never done this. Not even as a teenager. You take turns. It all evens out as long as one of you isn’t tight (and suggests McDonald’s when it’s their turn!). My daughter is 19 and her and her boyfriend take turns.

Oh bloody hell life is too short for this, get a man that wants to treat you to things not always 50/50.

Or... dump him if he's a tightarse.

Have a kitty!!

£100 each into a designated wallet and then one of you uses it until it needs topping up.

An oldie but goodie!

Go halves on this if you want, but if you ever move in together, I sure as hell bet he won't be going halves on everything involved in running a home. Men like this only want it to be equal when equal isn't actually equal (does he earn more than you?)

Im guessing he's been burned before and is hesitant to get money involved in his relationship. I have plenty of friends who still pay separately when they're out - DH and I have all shared money but that's not how it works for everyone so sometimes if we're out with another couple it's 3 cards on the table. I think it's slightly annoying that he announces it each time - surely you both know how it works - so I'd just say 'let's just agree we always split things and never talk about it again' and move on if this is the only niggle.

Sounds like though if you're considering a future of living together or children etc it's worth having a financial conversation beforehand as that could get tricky very quickly.