Left alone in a park

I agree.
if she’d fallen, hurt herself in some way or ( less likely but still possible) a random told her she had to leave, to go this way, with me……

I'm going to assume that you live in an unsafe area.

We live in a gritty urban area and I would not let my children go to the park on their own or to hang out with friends. It's all drug dealing and even the odd fire so it is not the norm to let your kids hang out there.

However I would have no hesitation leaving a 10 year old in the play area ij the same park during a park run. It's a completely different atmosphere- busy, family friendly, and you are in the vicinity and can periodically view them to see if they are ok.

It's not the same as leaving them on their own.

I think what's interesting is that it doesn't particularly show cities as more dangerous than rural areas which has been often alleged in this thread

That you can name the children who were murdered by randoms on the street shows how rare it is.

The vast majority of children murdered are done so by someone known to them. The OPs child is (statistically) more likely to be murdered by her own father than some random in the park.

My worry would have been if she fell off the playground equipment and broke a bone or something. Half an hour is a long time in that scenario!

And sadly very many more. Thank you for looking and posting @Active13

Every single one was perfectly safe before and up to the moment they weren't anymore.

I did enough roaming on my own as a child, in very safe, very nice areas, to know what can happen.

I think the tone has changed in responses since OP said he was the dad and the ex is the mum

Devils advocate. Was she actually uncomfortable being left alone or does she see her dad as someone who is likely to lap up an excuse to criticise her mother and she was in need of a bit of attention at that time as she felt left out? Given the OP said he felt like it was a cry for help

Facts & sensible parenting...

Jessica Chapman & Holly Wells aged 11 were murdered by their school caretaker who was in a relationship with their teaching assistant in their village. They went for a walk on a weekend afternoon & met the caretaker in the village.

Sarah Payne aged 8 was murdered by a paedophile in Suffolk during daylight hours when out playing in Surrey.

Millie Dowler aged 13 was murdered by Levi Bellfield in Surrey a paedophile who spoke to young girls at bus stops in Surrey.

All in their home towns/villages.

There are many, many more abductions, sexual assaults & muggings of children (all documented)....please wake up & read the NSPCC guidance on keeping children safe when out in the community so everyone can make an informed decision on how to keep children safe.

I wouldn’t have a problem with this, I’ve actually done it myself with DS, although he’d just made up 11. Park run in a Manchester park, we don’t live nearby. He got chatting to another couple of kids who were doing the same thing

I think it's really irresponsible of him but that's just me - there's all sorts of weirdos out there. I wouldn't have left my 10 year old anywhere alone hoping someone else 'unknown' would keep an eye on her.

Oh for gods sake scary 😂I was walking to the park by myself to play with friends younger than 10

I’m just glad that other people don’t know what it’s like to live in such as massive shit hole to be honest. I get it. I would have thought the same once upon a time.
Unless you’ve got crackheads for neighbours, you won’t know the same risks.

You miss read the post you commented on & there's no need to be rude.

Exactly. I was playing out on my own much younger than this as was my DS. It’s crazy that we have got to a place where people are questioning a 10 year old on their own in a park for 30 mins?!?

My instincts tel me NO. Then I think wait age 10, a lot of kids wld be allowed to play at a park by themselves.

I totally get it though it's a worry and I don't think I'd be happy either. The situation is different because it's an unfamiliar place to her and she's not with anyone else like a friend.

That’s the trouble with mumsnet though. A lot of people assume everyone lives in lovely, safe areas

I think it's more that a lot of MNers genuinely think towns and cities are more dangerous than they actually are.

I live in a very built up, large town, adjacent to a city. The local parks are full of families. The school runs are packed with families walking smaller dc and y5/6 dc walking themselves with friends.

The local parks, shops and libraries are full of people at all hours of the day just getting on with their days.

It's absoloutley not unsafe for a mainstream 10+ year old to develop the skills needed for independent travel to school or navigating theor way around their local area unsupervised.

I grew up in a pretty safe area - a nice rural village where everyone knows everyone. Could have been on Heartbeat, that kinda of village.

I had to get the bus to school from 11 - I was groped by men, leered at, fell on the ice one winter and broke my wrist but still had to make my own way home. Had to stand at a dark isolated bus stop. It was genuinely scary at times and I hated it but Mum didn't drive and I had no other choice.

That’s the trouble with mumsnet though. A lot of people assume everyone lives in lovely, safe areas.

When I posted upthread I was told I was weird and controlling, stifling.

There are always reasons why we do what we do as parents and I guarantee that if anyone who thought I was suffocating had to spend a week living where I live, saw some of the people who live here, got harassed as a adult walking through the park, stench of weed everywhere, read and heard (and saw) stories of grooming gangs and county lines, they wouldn’t let their children out of their sight either.

When you experience that every day, you have a different perspective of danger.

I wouldn’t leave my ten year old alone for a minuet in a park in Noddy Land, let alone anywhere else. I think it’s madness to leave them in a park in a place they have never been.

People are describing the situation like the poor child was dumped in the middle of the night in a desolate forest full of roaming predators, and not asked to wait 30 minutes in daytime, in park full of families and parkrun volunteers

My DD is 10 and is the same as yours in that she has never been left alone at a play park before. Whilst I wouldn't be against leaving her now at a park she was familiar with, I certainly wouldn't leave her alone, for the first time, at an unknown park in an unfamiliar city. I imagine she would be quite scared.

It's not an either /or. They aren't either getting collected or smoking in the park/getting mugged. I suppose it's area dependent. My ds walked the 15 minute walk with friends albeit in a safe, residential area. As a young adult, he has never smoked, doesn't drink and is really responsible so certainly wasn't sitting smoking in the park at Year 8. Obviously, you live in an very unsafe area so that's different, i totally understand you accompanying your child to/from school/bus if it's risky. A sensible, confident 10 year old in a busy park full of families for 30 minutes (with safe adults around), out of site for small pockets of time within that 30 mins is at minimal risk.

Loads of kids got collected from my kids’ senior school as there were countless emails over the years asking parents not to park their cars in certain areas outside. Mine got the school bus back and then swapped to the train a bit later.

I’m with you.

I don’t know where this “look ridiculous” thing comes from.

I used to drive my ds to and from secondary, along with two of his friends until year 11, year 12 they went off to college. We had a rota going with the other two parents, set around work schedules. It was. 15 min drive or busses through really dodgy areas that took three times as long.

Some of the kids who took local busses over the years had trouble, a couple were mugged for phones. Some other kids in ds school were sat in the park smoking weed every day by year 8. No thanks.

They were all happy to have a lift. We weren’t standing waiting at the gates in our slippers with teddy bears and hot chocolate for them. Why would it be ridiculous to have a parent waiting round the corner in the car for you at 3:30?

My dad did the same for me all through secondary, I never, ever gave it a second thought other than I was glad I didn’t have to wait for the bus.

My daughter will be going to a grammar school 45 mins away this September. They run a school mini bus from our town. I will be walking her to and from it as it’s through an area that I don’t feel safe walking my dog in alone. We’ve got groups of men, homeless people, drinkers even at 7:30 in the morning. Why would I let my daughter walk through that when I wouldn’t?

Why will she look ridiculous? I’ll be collecting my kids from secondary school if they’ll allow it. Nothing ridiculous about having parents who care about your safety enough to make it their responsibility 🤫

Would much rather look like an overbearing parent than take risks with my children’s safety tbh and I certainly wouldn’t care what eejits like you have to say about it! 8,252 children were reported missing in Scotland last year. The world isn’t all butterflies and roses.