Page 12 | Left alone in a park

Dmb563 · 2025-01-13T16:47:09+00:00

Please help, My ex looks after my two girls (12 and 10) most weekends. The eldest likes to do park runs on Saturdays but my youngest isn't really bothered. I found out recently that my ex and my eldest had done a park run in a large Scottish city (they've never been there before so an unfamiliar location), and my youngest had been left alone in a play park while they did a 5k park run. Looking at the course, the majority of it is outside the visibility of the park so there would be no way of checking whether she was safe in the park, except a few sections. A 5k takes around 30 minutes to complete - it does circulate the play park but on a very wide basis. Am I being unreasonable to think this isn't okay??

Nessastats · 13/01/2025 17:53

10 years old alone for 30 minutes in a park?

You're over reacting.

Lavender14 · 13/01/2025 17:52

I would not be cool with this either. If it was with friends/ in a park well known to the child near home then that's different. But in a completely unfamiliar city where she wouldn't know what to do in a crisis absolutely not.

Screamingabdabz · 13/01/2025 17:49

No it’s not okay and YANBU. Yes, she’d probably be fine, but probably would not be good enough odds for me in a strange unfamiliar open place.

HawkinsTigers · 13/01/2025 17:44

DemonicCaveMaggot · 13/01/2025 17:27

I think it is OK.

My parents used to leave me in the Natural History Museum/Science Museum in London while they went to the sales at that age (in the mid 1970's). I preferred being on my own doing that rather than being dragged around Harrods to look at towels.

Off topic but this sounds like a fricking awesome way to spend a day

StMarie4me · 13/01/2025 17:43

moonshinepoursthroughmywindow · 13/01/2025 17:28

I wouldn't have a problem with her being on her own for that long but I would have appreciated him letting me know he was going to do that. YAB a bit U to say "A 5k takes around 30 minutes to complete" though - for some of us it takes a lot longer and the Parkrun ethos is that anyone can compete, however fit or unfit.

That's not the point of the thread at all.

KevinAndTracy · 13/01/2025 17:41

The fact that parkrun was going on makes any risk pretty minimal. There would have been plenty of other people about and most parkrun routes are multi-lap so runners would be constantly going past, including your ex and older child.

As long as your child was happy to stay in the play area and is reasonably sensible then I think you are overreacting

Basketballhoop · 13/01/2025 17:38

moonshinepoursthroughmywindow · 13/01/2025 17:28

I wouldn't have a problem with her being on her own for that long but I would have appreciated him letting me know he was going to do that. YAB a bit U to say "A 5k takes around 30 minutes to complete" though - for some of us it takes a lot longer and the Parkrun ethos is that anyone can compete, however fit or unfit.

Presumably she said around 30 minutes because she knows that her ex and older daughter can do it in that time. Just because it takes some people a lot longer doesn't make OP in the least bit unreasonable for saying it. Some people take a lot less than 30 minutes.

@Dmb563 aged 10, she should be fine in a playground for around 30 minutes, or 40 minutes. By the time it gets to around 16-18 minutes, the front runners will be back and she can go and clap people in if she is bored in the playground.

MerryMaker · 13/01/2025 17:34

OP, part of being divorced is accepting that when your children are with your ex, he may make different parenting decisions to you. You sound on the over protective spectrum, so I think this will be an increasing issue, now your DCs have got to the age where they can be left alone for a bit.

HPandthelastwish · 13/01/2025 17:32

10 year old is fine alone, doesn't matter that it's an unfamiliar city as she should be staying in the park with plenty of people around her, under 10 Id not have been happy but she should be developing independence now She's old enough to know never to go off with strangers.

Obviously she could have hurt herself, knocked herself unconscious and got taken to hospital after other people rung 999 if we really must catastrophise. Or DDad and DD could have been hurt during parkrun. But both are pretty unlikely. To keep your mind at rest just get a business card or two printed off and laminated with her details and your contact ones on and a cheap dumb phone with yours and dad's number on it so she can call for help if she needs too.

UpUpUpU · 13/01/2025 17:31

moonshinepoursthroughmywindow · 13/01/2025 17:28

I wouldn't have a problem with her being on her own for that long but I would have appreciated him letting me know he was going to do that. YAB a bit U to say "A 5k takes around 30 minutes to complete" though - for some of us it takes a lot longer and the Parkrun ethos is that anyone can compete, however fit or unfit.

Why should he let her know? He is an equal parent with equal responsibility.

Also, it takes her ex and daughter that long to complete 5k, which is the point of this thread. It doesn’t matter if it takes others an hour.

Wickedclimber · 13/01/2025 17:29

I wouldn't be happy with that, no.

It would be a different matter if it were a park at home, that she knew, but in a totally different city that she'd never been to before - nope.

moonshinepoursthroughmywindow · 13/01/2025 17:28

I wouldn't have a problem with her being on her own for that long but I would have appreciated him letting me know he was going to do that. YAB a bit U to say "A 5k takes around 30 minutes to complete" though - for some of us it takes a lot longer and the Parkrun ethos is that anyone can compete, however fit or unfit.

DemonicCaveMaggot · 13/01/2025 17:27

I think it is OK.

My parents used to leave me in the Natural History Museum/Science Museum in London while they went to the sales at that age (in the mid 1970's). I preferred being on my own doing that rather than being dragged around Harrods to look at towels.

MaggieBsBoat · 13/01/2025 17:26

Without evidence to the contrary, a 10 year old should be fine for half an hour in a playpark. Presumably they were told to stay there and when dad and sister would be back. YABU.

Allmarbleslost · 13/01/2025 17:24

I would be fine with this as long as dd was ok with it.

JimHalpertsWife · 13/01/2025 17:23

Seems fine to me. Presumably on Park Run days the whole place is buzzing with running families.

Kindling1970 · 13/01/2025 17:23

When people in their 40s plus were younger we were out playing alone at a much younger age than that on the whole so it’s ok. The world has not become more unsafe since then but also appreciate parenting is different now so this might seem wrong to some people. It’s teaching her she can cope alone which will be great for her confidence

pictoosh · 13/01/2025 17:23

I think that's ok.

Overthebow · 13/01/2025 17:22

I don’t see a problem with this, why can’t a 10 year old be by herself for half an hour?

Fluufer · 13/01/2025 17:20

This sounds fine. There will no shortage of safe adults at a parkrun.

BarbaraHoward · 13/01/2025 17:07

AlphaApple · 13/01/2025 17:01

Parkrun marshalls are not babysitters!

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That's not what PP said.

SnapdragonToadflax · 13/01/2025 17:06

It depends on the 10 year old and whether she's reasonably sensible and happy to be left, but I'd say that's probably fine. She's old enough to know how to keep herself safe, she knows roughly where her family are, and 10 year olds are generally ok to be on their own for a short time.

FloralGums · 13/01/2025 17:03

It’s fine. My son was cycling down to the rec and playing with friends for a few hours by age 10.

Turophilic · 13/01/2025 17:01

Half an hour at a a park age 10 sounds perfectly reasonable.

AlphaApple · 13/01/2025 17:01

Mairzydotes · 13/01/2025 17:00

Park runs usually have lots if marshals so if anything happened she would be able to find a safe adult.

So in a way , the park run makes the scenario safer.

The only worry is that the place is unfamiliar. I think it would be absolutely fine in a local park .

Parkrun marshalls are not babysitters!