Left alone in a park

And the stepfather needs to join in also??

Welcome to real world of parenting. One patent stays with each..

Seems fine to me

How about they are each asked what they would like to do for that morning.
And if the run is to be done by one in that location maybe one adult is assigned to facilitate whatever the other child wishes to do.
Two children divided by 2 adults.
Even can manage that calculation. Equals one each.
Simples.

I remember as a kid, walking with my mum and seeing kids sat on pub steps, my mum thought it was disgusting.

Many years later, I have seen kids sat in cars in pub car parks, whilst the parents drink inside...like my mum before me, I think it's horrible.

But how would the older sister feel, if she's told that no, you can't do your activity with your mum, because younger sister must come first and cannot possibly be asked to be slightly bored for 30 minutes?

Who remembers being left outside a pub with a ginger beer and a packet of crisps if lucky.
Don't see that so much now.
But we all remember the feeling.
Not scared. But certainly a feeling of being surplus to requirements.
Just saying.

Why do they need to find a babysitter for a 10 year old who can very easily hang out in a park for the half hour so her big sister and mum can do something they both enjoy doing? So long as they also do things the 10 year old enjoys at other points in the weekend then its a complete non-issue. If they are only doing things the 12 year old enjoys then that's a different issue altogether.

No one on his thread has said 10 year olds should not have to entertain themselves for half an hour. I expect most parents require that regularly of far younger children, just as I do. But I wouldn’t leave them alone in a public park to do their entertaining themselves. So maybe she’s just bored, but that is totally missing the point.

If mum can’t get her to walk in the park run she needs to find an adult to be with her or skip her park run. Ideally I guess every second second week she’d find someone and run with the elder child, and the other weeks she’d spend time with the younger child. I wonder how much of this is that mum and stepdad like doing the park run together. They can do that again in a couple of years.

Can't understand why mother and stepfather need to go running and leave 10 year old behind. Shitty parenting....

I think doing a family parkrun with their 12yo is fabulous parenting. The 10yo didn't want to join.

But if you stay at home, you might die in a house fire or electrocute yourself!

Where does it end?

You can't eliminate all risk from life for you or your children, you just have to make sensible balanced decisions

I am sure there are some parks where this wouldn't be a sensible decision but I think it's fine in most.

In total agreement. I certainly wouldn't do it. Irresponsible parent, would be having strong words....

Having just seen poster is a Dad, whose voicing reasonable concerns. Can't understand why mother and stepfather need to go running and leave 10 year old behind. Shitty parenting....

It is rare. You can’t change your behaviour based on extremely rare events. Look what happened to Rachel Nickell on Wimbledon Common, which is an extremely busy place - would you conclude from that that families shouldn’t go to parks together either in case the parents are murdered?

Mum just has to skip it every second week

And older sibling has to skip all running with mum, because younger sister is bored?

Not ok. It's 30 minutes in an unfamiliar location where she has nobody she knows to help her problem solve if something happens. What if she injured herself and couldn't contact her dad for assistance? Or her sister injured herself while running and the dad got caught up providing care and delayed returning to the youngest? It's all very well until it isn't and that's when things go to shit. In my country it's a criminal offence to leave a child under the age of 12 without adequate supervision, and this situation would not meet the test.

Talking her into doing it as a walk would be good but there's no need to skip it altogether unless the 10 year old is scared at being left. If she's just bored then she needs to learn to cope with that boredom and use it to stimulate her imagination and self-entertainment skills, as we all did in childhood, and usually for far longer than half an hour every other weekend.

I don't think the fact all 10 year olds are different and that people parent them differently, is anything to be 'so shocked' by really.

It's just the way of the world.

You are on the right page imo.

This morning on local news an 11 year old was almost abducted on the way to school, by a man and a woman, two vehicles were involved.
These thing do happen, not often, but not everyone has good intentions.
Also accidents can happen, bullying can happen, the child could get alarmed realising she knows no one in a strange place.

Alternatively, she could just amuse herself and come to no harm in the time (and it would be more than 30 minutes) the fun run had finished and dad returned

I know I wouldn't take the chance with my own kids

That's what I'm thinking.
It's not necessarily on the child, it's who else is at the place at the same time

First time Ive ever commented on here but I have a 10 year old and I woudn't be ok with this ! So shocked by the amount of ppl who think its fine. 10 is still quite young to me, mine does not have a phone and I dont like the idea of anyone being able to just go up to her and the dad would not even see it ?

The problem is, it's not so wildly beyond the norm that OP really gets any say in what his ex does. People parent differently and you just have to accept this when you're a separated parent.

If it was a 4 year old, that would be neglect and there would be grounds for him to say something and potentially even inform social services/police.

But leaving a 10 year old in the park is within the realms of what's normal. I might not do it, but I'd have no reasonable grounds for complaint if my ex did it.

Im on the same page as you. Don’t doubt yourself. You know your own area, your community and the risks.

If others want to run the risk that’s really up to them, but you certainly don’t have to. Many/most parks are probably safe and fine, but I don’t want my child to suffer an ACE or worse, when they can test out their independence in safer environments.

Once your dd gets older she will start to watch films on her own, shop and go out for coffee, you can be very selective about where that happens, she will be with other friends and it will be a gradual process.

Most of my dc are now adults and are as adventurous as you can possibly be BECAUSE they have had a safe and happy upbringing and have the confidence in the world around them (rightly or wrongly) and can handle most situations well.

Do things in your own time, at your own pace.

I dont think the two adults should be doing something with the oldest every week and leaving a 10 year old alone in a public place. Mum just has to skip it every second week till she’s 12 or talk her partner or a friend into being with her or talk her into doing it as a walk.

I'm starting to think that I'm not on the right page; maybe I'm too strict, too cautious, too aware of how rife child sex abuse/trafficking/drugging is.....

10 years old being ok to be alone in a park. 10 year old girl, alone in a (strange) park.

My instincts say no but many people here say it's more than ok.

FWIW, nearby me a schoolgirl on her way to school was attacked and raped in a park that she walked daily. People use it all day everyday and she still got raped

Merrymaker,if mum or daughter fell and needed to go to hospital someone could be sent to pick her up and take her to the hospital where her parent is

I wouldn't feel comfortable about it either. I'd be wondering if the message was because she was bored or worried and uncomfortable with it. Neither my 10 nor 12 year old would be happy to be left on their own in a strange park, that's the most important thing ultimately, how your daughter felt about it.