Kid being gossiped about by mums.

DS was a nativity sheep with a comedy punchline in Reception, and he got so cross every time he got a laugh he used to stamp his tiny sheep-costumed foot. Which got another laugh.

🐑 “ A superior sheep at the Nativity “😂
That’s so funny.
Mary was always given to the very good girls, abs Angel Gabriel to the best boy.
My son was a Christmas pudding at one Christmas infant’s play😂

Odd you haven't mentioned the child's parents...where are they in all of this? What do they think? This is their battle isn't it? Odd.

this would give the poor child chance to repair and remedy his behaviour so of course he would still be invited.

And what if Amazon have run out of magic wands?

Or do you think a complaint from you personally is enough to magically repair and remedy this child's behaviour?

When it's not magically repaired and remedied, would you still be happy to invite a child to your DC's party, who uses swearwords like 'slut', 'bitch' and 'whore'?

My takeaways from this:

1. The OP is the parent, but obv now will have to keep denying it. Nothing else about the entire post and her POV makes a lick of sense.
2. The child is NOT to blame and making him the subject of gossip is awful.
3. The parent is right to raise it with the school. Ime, very young kids swearing is unusual. It is NOT 'picked up at sports clubs' etc at that age. If a child hears an odd swear word and repeats it - very common - it is usually dealt with easily at home. Swearing repeatedly at a very young age can be a sign that other things in the home environment are not right, and that some kind of intervention may be needed. I would expect a safeguarding officer to be aware of it.

no one is stopping you, and no one is stopping the OP!

One mother has an opinion and a reaction, you have another entirely different way of handling it. It's a free country.

The OP should't drag a teacher into it, they really have better things to do.

Just keep out of it
The school should know how to deal with it

Every parent knows who the “naughty” children are in their child’s class as the children tell their parents.

My mum had my son go to her and say earnestly “Billy Bragg steals!”
( Not the boys real name) ( infants)

Billy Bragg actually stole my son’s new shoes son came out of school wearing battered shoes of the wrong size 😂
( We got them back ok)

well, an actual solution would be to ignore her. That tends to shut people up when no one pays attention.

But obviously it would stop the OP from having a good gossip and a rant against another parent, and some parents LOVE drama at the school gates 😂

There's ALWAYS some gossipy righteous parent like the OP and the other mother. It's because a child had more stars of the week than the other, because someone is a superior sheep at the nativity, is given the best book to read at home, gossip because one mother wears beautiful clothes and "too much make-up" or because she is always in gym gear.... the nonsense from bored parent is endless.

If people are that bored, I would strongly advise them to join the PTA, they could spend all that energy in trying to raise money for the school and their own kids.

I honestly don't think an otherwise nice little boy is going to be excluded from school for being a bit sweary. Exclusion is a last resort. 5 year olds don't get excluded unless their behaviour is really out of control. I think that the OP can stop panicking.

How do you know that's not what's happening? You said yourself you don't know what words are being used.

As for complaining about another poster generalising, what do you think your posts about tourettes are? You've decided a child may have a medical condition just because they sometimes swear. The vast majority of people with tourettes do not yell out, you are falsely promoting an unhelpful stereotype. And a 5 year old with tourettes should not know swearwords the same as any other 5 year old because they should not be exposed to that language.

I agree with you OP. It's horrible. And how will this little boy stand any chance of knowing any better unless he is exposed to better role models?

Whilst I might not be happy for my child to go to his house, at least without me getting an idea of what the environment is like over there, I wouldn't have an issue with my kid bringing home this kid for a play date.

For all anyone else knows, the poor child could be witness to a parent screaming abuse at their partner whilst he's at home, and that's where he's heard this - if I can give him a couple of hours break from that, I would do. And I'd make sure my house is a safe space for any of my children's friends.

Just rethinking this reply from you OP.

You say you would not tolerate misogynistic swearwords like 'slut', 'bitch', or 'whore'.

What would you do about it then?

Complain to the school obviously, but beyond that?

If this child was still using misogynistic swearwords like 'slut', 'bitch', or 'whore', would you happily invite him to your DC's parties?

This. Mind your own business

I have recently moved to an area where swearing is much more rife than I have ever encountered before. "Fuck" and "fucking" are used very casually by some older men who I just wouldn't expect to use language like that, generally it's not used aggressively. It's not like teenagers who, I think, consciously swear to impress friends. I am struggling to come to terms with it, haven't challenged it but hopefully would if I had a child with me. This boy may simply not see these words as bad.

Just ignore her and close down any conversation by changing the subject. You could even say it isn't right to be talking about this child. Some parents did that about a boy at school and I found it inappropriate. I distanced myself.

The sad thing is, there is no need for the boy to be excluded. If there are consequences every time he swears, he will learn not to do it, and he won't be excluded. The OP says he is a nice boy aside from this, it's unlikely he e be shunned by other kids and parents if he works on stopping the unwanted behaviour.

I feel this child is being let down if his swearing isn't being challenged by teachers and other parents.

Well, unless your school operates entirely differently to every other school on the planet, that's not her decision. She's raised it with the teacher. It's out of her hands now. If she thinks her child is being irreparably damaged by proximity to a child who swears, she has of course the option of removing her child from that setting.

If you feel so strongly about the child possibly being ostracised, invite him for a playdate.

I also think those who don't want their own children to associate with a five year old boy because he swore are ridiculous. Hes just a little kid. Why on earth would you try to isolate a little boy?

‘Have you lived a sheltered life? You’ve been parroting to anyone who’ll listen for months’

Shes an arse!

Your over dramatic language is the only thing I'm judging here. 'smear campaign', 'throwing shade', 'slandered'

Just ignore and don't get involved. It's very easy to not get involved.

Do they have Tourette’s? It’s an odd conclusion to jump to if you haven’t been told anything.

You initially heard about this from other parents yet you don’t seem concerned about them gossiping.

people talk it is up to you if you choose to listen.

Oh, come on now. OP hasn't started a thread 'smearing and gossiping', as you so histrionically put it. She's asked for advice on an advice forum. An anonymous advice forum, at that.

This is a support site for parents. OP is not exacerbating the gossip circulating at her DC's school. And frankly, it makes no odds whether sweary child is hers or not. For adults to bully and gossip about children is reprehensible behaviour.

To OP - a fellow-parent can have no influence on whether a child is excluded or not, especially when the kid is a mere 5 years old. There would have to be a much stronger reason than this. The mother's behaviour is toxic but the schools are set up to maintain discipline and behavioural policies over the children in their jurisdiction, not their parents. There is nothing they can do about her unless a serious safeguarding concern is raised, and if it is, they will hand it on to the necessary authorities to deal with.

It's all deeply unpleasant, but unfortunately this does fall into the category of problems you can't do anything about.