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Puppy Overwhelm - AIBU in partially regretting getting one

58 replies

bubbaflash · 13/01/2025 12:20

Hi All

So we got a puppy just over a week ago. Not our first dog, we lost our old boy at 15 in October last year, and we miss him badly.

I vaguely remember the puppy days being hard - but goodness the memory does block some if it. I am feeling a bit overwhelmed. DH works from home, and I work from home the majority of the week, but I do have some client visits. For the first month DH and I are using some annual leave to work part of the week and to bed puppy in. We also have a DS who is 12.

The problem being we are used to a routine with our old dog where we could leave him a bit, pop in and out and (once through the destructive puppy stage) you could reliably leave. He was happy mogging about with us in the day, but also doing his own thing.

Now we are back at the start. Work is fine when she sleeps (which is a lot I suppose at the moment as puppies need a lot of sleep) but it is hard when she is awake.

Toilet training is going well, and she is generally quite a sweet puppy, though full on when she is playing as puppies should be.

We are crate training at night (it is slowly getting better) and we have brought a playpen to put round the crate for daytimes when we need to pop out. She hasn't been left yet as she is only 10 weeks old.

I have googled and I think i am experiencing the puppy blues. I do know it eventually gets better, but omg at the moment life feels harder.

AIBU to currently regret our decision? Any advise or support on how to cope would be appreciated. I know in time things will ease, particularly when we can get out for a walk, but i feel a bit anxious and loI

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DogPot · 13/01/2025 12:53

Midlifecrisisxamillion · 13/01/2025 12:32

It's survival until about 20 weeks. Then massive improvements after that. Take things in turns as much as possible. Build up daily the time you can leave them. 1 minute day 1 (3 times), 2 minutes day 2 (3 times) etc. Any day the struggle go down again to nearer the start.

It does get so much easier. I look at my dog now and my heart bursts. Mind you, I'd happily have chucked her out the window when she was a puppy. It was hard work!

Oh God… yessss! To everyone one of the posts!!! You do forget just how full on they are!
I used to cry with the strain of it all - then she’d come to me and lie on me and we’d snooze together and I’d love her so much - rinse, repeat!
Still follows me to shower, bath, toilet.. and sleeps in the bedroom. She is a third leg, if I move, she moves. German Shepherd aka ‘Velcro dogs’
I carried her with me in the first 3 weeks as we’d got an elderly Shepherd who didn’t want dive-bombing by this land-shark every 30 secs. Pup was most put out when I couldn’t manage to lift her due to her huge rapid growth. Tried to climb my legs like a too-heavy toddler🙄
On my PC emails is one I wrote to my best friend detailing my woes, but in a comic way… makes for eye-rolling head-nodding reading now😁
Of course, it all passes, but my goodness, it is SO tough in those early weeks and months.
I love her to the Moon and beyond… but she got in the shopping delivery yesterday and stole the carrots…nothing changes much!🐾

Midlifecrisisxamillion · 13/01/2025 12:45

Invisablepanic · 13/01/2025 12:41

We got our puppy in November and I almost immediately regretted it. Our pup is generally doing well but taking him out for a wee at 5am has been a killer as I can't get back to sleep and then need to be up at 6.30, I think the hardest part has been feeling like I'm stuck in the room with him and I can't potter freely as he's into everything.

Nothing has actually been a surprise, I knew he would have accidents and would need a lot of supervision but the actual reality has been a shock to the system.

I don't blame him and I know it will get better but I do find myself thinking I wish we hadn't got him and then feeling guilty as I'm clearly his favourite in the family!

Could you do the wee stop earlier e.g. 3am so you can at least get back to sleep?

Invisablepanic · 13/01/2025 12:41

We got our puppy in November and I almost immediately regretted it. Our pup is generally doing well but taking him out for a wee at 5am has been a killer as I can't get back to sleep and then need to be up at 6.30, I think the hardest part has been feeling like I'm stuck in the room with him and I can't potter freely as he's into everything.

Nothing has actually been a surprise, I knew he would have accidents and would need a lot of supervision but the actual reality has been a shock to the system.

I don't blame him and I know it will get better but I do find myself thinking I wish we hadn't got him and then feeling guilty as I'm clearly his favourite in the family!

Midlifecrisisxamillion · 13/01/2025 12:32

It's survival until about 20 weeks. Then massive improvements after that. Take things in turns as much as possible. Build up daily the time you can leave them. 1 minute day 1 (3 times), 2 minutes day 2 (3 times) etc. Any day the struggle go down again to nearer the start.

It does get so much easier. I look at my dog now and my heart bursts. Mind you, I'd happily have chucked her out the window when she was a puppy. It was hard work!

MsPug · 13/01/2025 12:31

my puppy is 17 weeks tomorrow and I just said to my dh wow where's the dog??!? Nearly had a heart attack but she was quite happily under the sofa with her chew bone. We hadn't realised we'd not been 'on alert' which we have been for the last 2 months lol

there were days I wanted to send her back, days I thought I made the worst mistake and days when I hated my dh for not agreeing with me (even though I had said to him don't agree with me 😂 )

what me and my puppy have developed now is the art of conversation-she knows my eyebrow raises and I know what her little noises mean. Sometimes they misfire like this morning when she weed on the upstairs carpet but that was my fault for not taking her out first. Also the rare wee now doe not send me into a downward spiral anymore either.

I've just been playing football with her in the garden and my oh my I love her so much! Every day is different and you have good and bad but once you start to chat with each other you'll be grand!
I also lost my dog in April after 13 years so had totally forgotten the puppy stage!

here's a pic pleeeeease no pug hate this is not what this thread is about ♥️

Puppy Overwhelm - AIBU in partially regretting getting one
Lougle · 13/01/2025 12:27

We're back there with our 10 week old black lab. We have a 17 month old chocolate lab, who is wonderful. It's so easy to forget what it's like!

Puppy Overwhelm - AIBU in partially regretting getting one
Puppy Overwhelm - AIBU in partially regretting getting one
MissyB1 · 13/01/2025 12:26

Oh yes puppy blues, I remember it well! My dog is 8 years old now, I still remember that first year very clearly!

It will get better, pup will get into a routine, that will help.

BigDahliaFan · 13/01/2025 12:23

There's a long running puppy blues thread on the Doghouse board. It's well worth a read.

I remember coming on here in absolute floods of tears about 3 weeks in to having a puppy. It was great to hear that they are little shits, to be told that when they are being particularly shitty it's because they are tired. To do brain games with them to tire them out. And that people know had what were those awful puppies lying at their feet or snoring in their beds and couldn't imagine life without them.

5 years in - I couldn't imagine life without her and she's a little sweetie.

But yes, 3 weeks in I could have handed her back to the breeder without a second glance.

Also crate training isn't compulsory! And build up gradually how long you are leaving them for.

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