To really hate phone calls

Do any of you phone haters work in jobs where you need to speak to people over the phone? How do you cope, or do you just avoid it?

Good for you.

Me too. I'm 66 and used to communicate regularly and happily by phone.

Over the past few years, I've much preferred using various kinds of messaging and online communication and hardly ever initiate phone calls. I often make my partner do it for me!

Of course I can but if there is an alternative I will usually choose that.

I’ll only take a phone call if it’s from someone that is in my phonebook. I’d never take a call from an unknown number.
My phone is for my own personal use and it’s solely down to me how I choose to use it.

Can you make a phone call without having a meltdown?

I don't think anyone is being quite as dramatic about it as you are.

@zerogrey

It baffles me how people who are afraid of phone calls even function in the real world.

With great difficulty as it happens.

I'm autistic and hate phone calls. I can do something like book appointments or speak to the GP about a simple and predictable situation as i know the outcome. Anything I cannot plan for i really struggle with, I find processing what people have said to me difficult, I always lip read when I'm face to face as it helps. Knowing how to immediately respond to something someone tells me makes me flustered and I miss half the information that is being given.

It baffles me how people who are afraid of phone calls even function in the real world.

Yes, I hate phone calls! I'm confident in person, but as soon as I go on the phone, for some reason, I can't manage to articulate!! Actually, just a phone call there and couldn't get my words out very frustrating 🙃

I think what makes them so awful for me is that I find social interaction hard to begin with. I love people and like interacting with my friends but I do find it hard abd draining.. it doesn't come naturally to me. I am autistic. So a phone call is even worse because you are missing half the cues. The facial expression the body language etc. I find it so stressful... because I know people find me odd anyway. And in a phonecall situation there's so much less for me to go on in coming up with appropriate responses. All joy is tucked out of the interaction by how much I have to work to understand the interaction.
I don't think it's just my autism that causes this as I know many nuerotypical people who are the same. Anyone with any confidence issues, overthinkers, shy people, anxious people... all of this will be exacerbated by a phone call because it's basically a disembodied voice. But it's also immediate interaction.. so you have to react then and there... It becomes a nightnate for anyone who struggles with interaction in general. It's like fencing blindfolded.

I hate them. Unfortunately so does my DH. So if we ever have to make a phone call we are sat there trying to convince the other one to do it lol!
We both have to make them at work but that's easier as I know exactly what it is I'm supposed to be doing.
Social calls I absolutely hate. Just send the facts in a txt.

Phoning is so much faster, easier, and efficient because parties can respond in real time. It’s also much easier to read people’s emotional state and make jokes. Phone calls are all around superior to texts and emails. I hate texting because it’s too slow and tend to procrastinate on emails. I love a quick phone call to sort everything out.

I really do not understand the anxiety about it! Can someone please try to explain more? Why is it so scary to you?? Are you afraid of talking to people in general?

I grew up pre-mobiles too, but I still hate phone calls. Haven't spoken to my husband on the phone for probably 20+ years 😂

I'm with you, OP. I'm not anxious at taking/making calls, I do it as part of my job. But a phone call is almost always less convenient than a message, text or doing something online. I feel twice as strongly about this now I have a small child at home with me. I can send a message or complete a task online while watching him, whereas chances to step away to make or take a call for more than a few minutes are much rarer. And if someone calls me, it's unlikely to be a moment I can step away from my son.

Being phone only makes me less likely to choose a service as well, if a competitor offers online booking or is willing to text/DM. My experience booking via phone is usually that it takes several attempts to actually speak to someone, or we end up in voicemail phone tag. If I do get through to a tradesman, they often can't make an appointment on the spot anyway (busy, diary at home etc) so another call is needed. Much simpler to just send a couple of texts back and forth, even if technically it might take longer.

I prefer an email. That way no one can claim that something was said when it was not

Out of interest, are the people who avoid phone calls also the people who won’t answer the front door?

I like a phone call, particularly if it’s with family or friends. At work, I find I can sort things out more quickly over the phone than via emails (even quicker, and with more pleasantries, if I physically go and talk to the person I need to chat with.)

I hate them so much it's practically a phobia. I had a routine telephone hospital appointment today and I was a nervous wreck beforehand, especially because they rang about 20 minutes late. I was completely incapable of doing anything productive before the call and turned into a babbling imbecile as soon as I answered, even though I knew exactly what I needed to say. I will honestly do anything to avoid talking to anyone on the phone!!

Voicemails and WhatsApp voice messages are even worse!

This is one of my annoyances I'm afraid.

Unless someone is mute, or has an auditory/hard of hearing issue, there's no reason they can make a phone call.

I think in this case you're just annoyed by them rather than freaking out about the prospect of having to make one, which is different entirely. It absolutely sucks to be in hold for ages, I get that. I've been dealing with this myself the last week or so because dickhead here lost me phone so I've had to call various people to sort things out. I've heard so many repeats of terrible sounding hold music which IS rage inducing to be fair, but smartphone tech means you can browse other stuff at the same time so it's not the end of the world.

I love having a catch-up call with a friend or family because it makes me feel closer to them when I can hear them.

The thing that pisses me off about phone avoidant people is the idea that they are so fragile that it makes them afraid of using the phone. Seriously? Get a fucking grip it's just a phone call. It's not going to kill you and it won't be forever. I recently saw someone freaking out about their reasonable adjustment at work being removed for phone calls because it "gives them anxiety." Their new boss was quite rightly not having it. A grown adult should be able to make a phone call without having a ridiculous meltdown over it. If someone is having a meltdown at the idea of a phone call then I don't know how they're going to cope when something actually serious happens.