To really hate phone calls

Don't phone back then. You've repeatedly told them you can't answer the phone at work so don't and don't feel guilty about it..Just text at an appropriate time after your shift ends "Hi, noticed you called me while I was working, is everything OK?".
Then you don't have to deal with a shirty tone of voice then :)

I think that's fair enough. My partner never ever phones me for a "chat" and I've accepted that about him.

YANU to prefer other methods of communication.

YABU if you allow this to affect your life in any meaningful way because yes, obviously a dislike of phonecalls is irrational.

I do not enjoy talking on the phone and will avoid it if there are equally good alternatives, but I know it's not rational and I also know that avoiding things excessively just exacerbates the problem.

That’s annoying. I think the thing with boundaries is that you can’t control other people only response. So you could tell them that you can’t answer the phone at work. If there’s an emergency they need to text or leave voicemail. Then you stick to that.

My partner is like this. The only way around it is to practice is rather than to avoid it. Obviously you shouldn't have to natter away to people on the phone for the sake of it but it really is worth getting confident on the phone for work & life admin purposes.

I think it would be valuable for you to reflect on why you feel this way. You’ve mentioned relatives that want to talk and you don’t want to, so perhaps you need some boundaries in place. Either screen calls and don’t answer or say something like “hello auntie Pat, would love to have a quick chat but I have an appointment in 10 minutes”. I also know a number of people who have anxiety about calls and these people have ASD so is this something that resonates?

I think it’s fine to have a preference for communication and to let people know this where appropriate. You could just let friends and family know and at work you could maybe say something like “I think I’ll be able to give you better advice if you email me with the info and I have time to reflect.” Or ask for face to face meetings.

However. just as you’re entitled to have a preference for whatever reason, so do others and so you’ll need to compromise if you want to keep up good relationships. To give an example, I have a friend who basically only wants to stay in touch via text. She doesn’t make time to meet up or do phone calls. For me that surface level relationship (especially as it’s a change without explanation) isn’t worth it so I’m fading her out.

I prefer phone calls to just about anything else. So much quicker and easier, more personal.

I wouldn't say anxiety as such, but at my work, we have an awful lot of very specialist equipment for which the details are not only product but also use case specific, and as they are safety related info it always has to be double checked. I am one of the more knowledgeable colleagues and I regularly have to look up and cross reference, let alone newer members of staff. I used to give info out over the phone when I knew it (common things that were regularly asked about in the enquiry stage), but after a couple of people have twisted things that I've said, then complained something didn't work for them I now won't, I'll only give them out in writing in response to being sent the info required, so that there is a complete paper trail. I find people who are happy to e-mail the accurate info (most people) are generally the easy to deal with ones who get swift resolutions and the ones who insist on doing business over the phone are chancers trying to get you to slip up or trying to bully you into agreeing to things (they won't manage but it's tiresome)

I agree with you. Its often so much easier to sort something out with a phone call. I find it really weird that people don't answer phones or doors, although I do think it's a Mumsnet thing - I've never met anyone in real life who won't answer their door or phone.

I totally agree with you.

@PigglyWigglyOhYeah

Out of interest, are the people who avoid phone calls also the people who won’t answer the front door?

Very rarely anyone comes to my door but usually DH will answer as he is faster and more mentally able to process the information. I don't really know why anyone else is bothered if people choose to minimise phone calls though.

i'm the opposite, i hate txt'ing on whatever platform. If i get a txt i ignore it. If you want to speak to me call me.

I moved abroad so there is a bit of a language barrier now and I mostly use a messaging app with a built in translation system. But when I was in the UK I was a caller rather than an emailer. I feel like I was able to get more done and build better relationships that way it probably depends on the role, I was middle management at the time.

I dislike phone calls but don't hate them. Use the phone regularly at work.

But it's the expectation that you are free to talk right then and there I don't like. I will message unless it requires a call. And I'll read messages when it's convenient for me rather than instantly

@PigglyWigglyOhYeah

"Out of interest, are the people who avoid phone calls also the people who won’t answer the front door?"

Not in my case. I prefer to make phone calls as I find them quicker and more efficient in many instances. I'm far from a technophobe but I still like the human connection of talking in person. However, no, I don't answer the door to strangers. It's invariably someone selling something or promoting a religion. I don't want to buy anything or be converted and I certainly don't want to stand on my doorstep for 10 minutes letting my heat out (and wasting their time) to explain that. Sometimes it may be a charity but I support a wide range of charities and cannot afford to sign up to another direct debit. If it was someone who genuinely wanted to speak to me on a personal basis, they could write (they obviously know my address) or put a note through the door. I live on a disadvantaged estate and, trust me, flinging your door open to random strangers is really not a good idea.

I work in an accounting and have absolutely no issue at all calling people if it's to do with work but in my personal life I'd rather stick pins in my eyes than call someone/receive a call. I don't know why really. I find the whole thing awkward

Then it doesn’t make sense to me why you would prefer texting over phone calls because it’s much easier to gage emotions over the phone.

I get a tiny bit anxious when I have to call but once the first 5 seconds are over they are fine.

so do you not mind making phone calls? Is it only receiving them that bothers you?