To really hate phone calls

This must be problematic when most people feel the opposite? If you need to communicate with 'me' you will text or leave a msg (but maybe you will check them?)

It sounds like this topic is not actually about phone anxiety or is even phone specific for you. It’s more about being annoyed by your relatives and not having well functioning boundaries with them.

Obviously face to face is best. But phone is at least better than text for gaging emotions. That was what I was getting at with my post.

I am 70 and feel the same as the OP. I don't have a phobia and it doesn't affect my life it's just a preference.

I really hate them generally speaking but I will use them when they’re the most sensible way of making an arrangement or something like negotiating a price.

Read what I said- it SEEMS false. This means it SEEMS false to me. It doesn't mean it is.

I think we've reverted. My (born mid 1890s) grandmother was not a creature of the phone and would SHOUT "can you hear me" at various points during a call.

I was born early 1960s and the phone is still the most normal way for me to communicate, although I'm well able to use other means. I think people should try to remember that there are still older people for whom this is the default, though and one day the preferred means of those younger will be sneered at.

I prefer phone calls but I guess I better get used to whatsapping more or text. I get the thing of a time not being convenient but don’t understand why you either don’t answer of say can you call at x or I’ll call you at x time.

Hearing a voice feels more personal more like human contact then Whatspp or email. Agree other methods are good for paper trail.

I guess it’s just technology changing.

I am guessing you're young (like under 40?)
I am well over 40 and feel exactly the same way as the op.

If you know they don’t like it, then yes. Your preferences are not more important than theirs. If all parties were being courteous, you’d message them (their clear preference) and they’d ring you (your clear preference).

It’s perfectly healthy to have different communication preferences to you. It’s incredibly unhealthy to be so blinkered and set in your ways that you are wholly incapable of adapting.

I think you’re the one who needs to grow up (although I see you’ve amended that) and/or have a word with yourself.

Literally never in my life has my roof been on fire. And it seems unlikely that a stranger would know my car, be aware of where I lived, and take it upon themselves to report the fact that someone was currently breaking into it to me. 🤣

So, far fetched scenarios aside, the likelihood of a stranger at my doorstep having something ‘important’ to tell me is perishingly slim. So slim, in fact, that it’s a chance I’m 100% willing to take.

i prefer using the headset, but text or email is sometimes better for me remembering

Oh don't be so ridiculous. It's ignorant to ring people now. WTF?! 😂 Even your own FAMILY. Like 3 times a month?

And of course it's not 'healthy' to not want to speak to people. Not healthy or normal. Seriously, have a word with yourself!

.

I hate answering the phone or making calls, if it can be done via text, email or online chat, I'd always choose that option. I've gotten quite bad over the years to the point where one specific take away that's not on any of the apps, my friend actually calls for me. It pushes my anxiety up uncontrollably and I don't know why, but it does.

I meant to say... in my post at 19.28..

. I have seen my own DC (both around 30) walk a mile out of their way to avoid talking to someone they know (who they speak to at great length ONLINE.) It's a real 21st century problem!

I missed the ONLINE bit out sorry!

Someone telling you your roof is on fire/someone is breaking into your car?

Like what?

I think it’s ‘ignorant’ to continue to ring people when you know that’s not their preferred mode of communication.

Speaking on the phone isn’t ‘healthier’ than text based communication, it’s just your preference.

I detest phone calls. They don’t make me anxious/stressed/insert emotion here. I can make them if I must. I just find them an utterly dull waste of time. Most people I know feel similarly - it’s apparently a millennial thing? I’ve spoken to DH on the phone about half a dozen times in total, and we’ve been together a long time!

Anyway, I don’t do ‘social’ calls. The ‘just for a chat’ phone conversation is alien to my social group. We message each other. My work comms are generally text based, and meetings are generally either face to face or on Teams (which I don’t mind at all in that context).

So, unless I need to book a tradesman or something, I can go months without speaking to anyone on the phone.

@TwinklyFawn

Well YANBU to hate phone calls, as that is your right. But IMO it's a bit weird to not want to speak on the phone. I am guessing you're young (like under 40?) Many millennials and Gen-Zs seem to fear talking on the phone, and speaking to people in real life, and seem to massively favour whatapping and texting. I have seen my own DC (both around 30) walk a mile out of their way to avoid talking to someone they know (who they speak to at great length.) It's a real 21st century problem!

Even when I or their dad ring them they don't answer 4 out of 5 times, and then they whatsapp us within a minute and say 'oh hi, everything OK? Bit busy right now, can't talk!' They just don't want to answer ... It does my head in. (No way are they always 'busy!') They both lose their shit if WE don't answer within 3 rings though. I mean, we only ring them 2-3 times a month, and they rarely answer! We only speak to them properly when we see them!

I agree with pps, it's ignorant to constantly not answer the phone/not want to speak on the phone, and yeah very unhealthy.

I've always hated making and receiving calls, and I'm GenX so had a long time of having no other choice. I am so happy that in my current job there are no phones, everything is pre-arranged zooms.

I have no problem if I can see someone's face. I just find it incredibly hard to process when I am just listening to a disembodied voice. Sometimes I lost track entirely of what they are saying, it just becomes a noise, like Charlie Browns teacher.

I'm also overly aware of every long pause, and if I'm put on the spot and can't think of a response it feels like the silence draws on forever and I end up saying something stupid to fill it.

And I like having some time to prep, which someone suddenly ringing you doesn't give.