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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To have a 4pm wedding?

220 replies

B2B25 · 13/01/2025 11:03

So looking to get married in October this year (quite short notice I know) our venue is available on the date we want but they only have 12pm or 4pm, WIBU to opt for the 4pm?

I'm thinking if we do 4pm we can then feed people at a typical tea time? It won't be a fancy wedding breakfast or anything like that, think hog roast/buffet.

Does this sound OK or will people be annoyed at having to wait around all day!?

OP posts:
BlueSky2024 · 13/01/2025 12:11

B2B25 · 13/01/2025 11:03

So looking to get married in October this year (quite short notice I know) our venue is available on the date we want but they only have 12pm or 4pm, WIBU to opt for the 4pm?

I'm thinking if we do 4pm we can then feed people at a typical tea time? It won't be a fancy wedding breakfast or anything like that, think hog roast/buffet.

Does this sound OK or will people be annoyed at having to wait around all day!?

4pm sounds perfect, most weddings are too long, enjoy the day

Merryoldgoat · 13/01/2025 12:11

I had a 4pm wedding and it was perfect. I didn’t piss about with daft photos so after 20 mins of pics we arrived a bit after the guests who all had drinks, quick set of speeches and dinner was served by 5.45.

No one was stupidly drunk or tired from an early start and it was lovely and lively. I would love a 4pm wedding as a guest too.

SnuffleTruffleHound · 13/01/2025 12:11

We got married at 3.30pm, it was brilliant and made for quite a relaxed event.
ceremony, then we had drinks in the bar area along with speeches. 6pm we had the food (hot buffet) then the band/disco.

TeenToTwenties · 13/01/2025 12:10

I got married at noon. All fine and dusted by 6pm so everyone could get home without accommodation costs.

Ps October is 10 months, not short notice at all!

RedLightsStopSigns · 13/01/2025 12:10

Sounds great! I’m still recovering from my cousin’s wedding last year that was at 2pm. We were all there from 1pm for mingling/drinks/canapes. By 10pm when the dancing was only just starting in earnest, I was dead on my feet and practically in tears wanting to go home.

Pointpoint · 13/01/2025 12:09

In the US this would be a standard time or even later. Typically weddings are late afternoon evening; you get married have a cocktail hour then food and disco. There isn’t two meals like most UK weddings.

Only down side is if you are invited to the wedding it’s the whole thing, there isn’t normally a split guest list due to this.

I like both types of weddings, the more US style tend to be faster paced and can feel classier due to the cocktail hour (people tend to wear more black tie outfits). But the UK earlier time tends to feel more family oriented.

Just tends what vibe of a wedding you are after OP

Heybugee · 13/01/2025 12:09

I'd love all weddings to be 4pm, then I don't have to spend the entire day small talking with people I don't like while I'm starving hungry.

DisforDarkChocolate · 13/01/2025 12:09

I'd love it. Much better than earlier.

MumblesParty · 13/01/2025 12:08

I agree with others. I’d love a 4pm wedding. In my 30s when I was going to weddings almost every weekend, it was always quite a pain getting up early, getting ready, maybe travelling long distance etc to be at a church for 11am. Everyone started drinking after the ceremony, hours of hanging around and more drinking, by the time the evening disco started I would often sneak away because I was worn out! A 4pm wedding would be perfect - lazy morning, pleasant afternoon, and still awake enough to enjoy the evening.

ranchdressing · 13/01/2025 12:07

Only reason not to would be photos - but work with a photographer who does lovely indoor shots, or come up with a solution e.g. 'first look' photos with your groom and the family before the ceremony so you get those essential shots in daylight.

PullTheBricksDown · 13/01/2025 12:07

alittlequinnie · 13/01/2025 11:05

I got married at 4. Was great - plenty of time to get ready - no early morning for me. Also people had lunch before coming and yes - dinner was at dinner time.

Another bonus was anybody travelling didn't have to come the night before as there was time to get there.

Only downside will be in October it is likely to be getting dark ish if you want outside photos...

Go for 4 but see if you can get photos done beforehand. Went to a wedding where they did this and it worked so well - all at one venue, we all relaxed with drinks and the photographer called different groups outside for photos. Then we could all relax afterwards.
It's a much better time for anyone travelling too.

Odiebay · 13/01/2025 12:05

We are getting married at 4pm In June. I'm walking to the church (10 minutes) so once we have finished photos with guests they can walk back to ours for canopies and drinks. Then evening hog roast/buffet at 6. No speeches apart from thanks for coming type. Then 7.30 onwards so low music and socialising. My MIL is a professional baker so will have her famous cakes around 7.30.

We are only having 30 people mind.

Hoping everyone decides to leave by 10 😂😂😂

MartinCrieffsLemon · 13/01/2025 12:05

Waiting around?
There's no waiting around. It'll just be a late afternoon event. It's not like they have to be at the venue at 8am regardless

Sounds great to me

LegoHouse274 · 13/01/2025 12:05

I think that sounds lovely!

BIossomtoes · 13/01/2025 12:04

Your guests will be delighted. No hanging about unfed for half the day, it sounds blissful.

RuthW · 13/01/2025 12:03

We did in November. It was lovely coming out in the dark.

AyeYCan · 13/01/2025 12:02

We got married at 4pm in December. Our photographer came with loads of lights to do outdoor photos and they were brilliant. (We had a full moon which also helped!). I love our outdoor photos in the dark, with just us lit!
We didn't have a formal sit down meal, we just had canapes straight after the ceremony, and then did speeches and cut the cake and then moved straight to the evening do where we had a hog roast.

RomainingToBeSeen · 13/01/2025 12:01

Wildwalksinjanuary · 13/01/2025 11:51

We had a 5pm wedding and it was candle lit and beautiful. We had champagne and then dinner and dancing! It was the most fabulous day - all of our guests loved it. It was seamless with no waiting around and no one was tired or hungry and everyone still had the energy to really dance and have fun! I thoroughly recommend it.
It was nice for me to get up leisurely enjoy breakfast and getting ready - spending time with my family before the ceremony and not the usual rush.

I have been to many a late morning wedding and it is a marathon, it’s just excruciatingly tiring for the guests. The amount of dead time waiting for hours and making conversation is just exhausting. By the time the wedding breakfast is served most are wilting. So as a guest I would really appreciate the consideration of a later start and I’d enjoy it more as a result, we went to a 3pm wedding and that also flowed extremely well.

Your wedding sounds wonderful @Wildwalksinjanuary .

I completely agree with the above. As a guest there can be so much hanging around and dead time, it's really tiring. At a recent wedding a lot of the bridal party who were staying at the venue disappeared for a couple of hours before the evening do leaving everyone else (mostly staying elsewhere and with taxis booked for later) in the bar.

For the bride and groom and for close family members I understand the desire to make the day as long as possible but if you're a guest and you're on your third hour of listening to an account of Uncle Bertie's hip operation and why Cousin Sandra refuses to shop at Asda it's a bit exhausting.

TipsyKoala · 13/01/2025 12:00

I would much prefer a 4pm start as a guest. more time to get ready before, especially for guests needing to travel, they may not need to stay over the night before. I dislike weddings with a 12pm start because I know it's going to be a long day with loads of hanging around.

Wildwalksinjanuary · 13/01/2025 12:00

I do find the extended photography time just awful as a guest. Some bridal couples take hours, and the guests are just stood around drinking tepid Pimm’s and it’s such a low point of the day that sometimes doesn’t recover. The dinner and speeches go on for hours and you can see the energy visibly draining from the guests!! They should not be an endurance but often that is the lasting impression!

Cattenberg · 13/01/2025 12:00

4pm sounds fine to me as long as the wedding’s in late spring/summer. It could be rather cold and dark otherwise.

NoahsTortoise · 13/01/2025 12:00

Going against the grain here but I got married in November at 2pm and wished I'd had the ceremony earlier. I'd do the 12 if I were you - although that is dependent on whether people have a long way to travel/will be staying the night before.

Our photographer was so manic about the light fading that we had to have loads of intense photos straight after the ceremony, and we also got caught in the rain which ruined my hair 🙈- a hazard of an autumn wedding! We missed all of the drinks and canapees.

By the time you factor in the usual lateness of everything...the ceremony likely being a bit late, the food taking a while to come out....I feel like I missed most of the day tbh. Didn't feel like I was free to actually speak properly to any guests until about 8.30pm and then the wedding finished a couple of hours later.

I think at 4.00, you'd be looking at food at 6.30ish earliest which will then eat into your evening quite a bit as you wouldn't be finished the meal and speeches etc until probably 8?

Every wedding is different of course but if I'd had mine at 4pm we wouldn't have been back in for the evening until about 9pm 😳And that was just with lateness of the ceremony and slow food service.

Arlanymor · 13/01/2025 11:59

TheGoogleMum · 13/01/2025 11:56

Sounds good as long as you aren't bothered about daylight

We did 12 for our november wedding but was happy to make a bigger day of it with both wedding breakfast and food in evening

But you got married after the clocks had gone back - it makes a massive difference in October if you get married before the end of the month. I got married in the first week of October at 4pm and it was lovely golden sunshine until about 7pm.

Arlanymor · 13/01/2025 11:57

I got married at 4pm in October (married the wrong man but that's a different story!) and it was brilliant. No one had to get up early, people had time to travel - there was no 'dead' time - we got married, had a 15-minute champagne reception (and photo time) then straight to the wedding breakfast. If I were to do it all over again (with a different man!) I would get married at 4pm again.

astoundedgoat · 13/01/2025 11:57

As a guest, definitely 4pm. Do your couple photos at 3pm, maybe, so you get better light, and don't disappear off after the ceremony for an hour.